I was speaking to a group of rabbinical students yesterday, and after the talk I was challenged by a young rabbi-to-be. He said that while I talked about sex being safe, consensual and fun, I had left out all references to it being “meaningful” or “holy.” He was partially correct. I struggle with what it …
Continue ReadingWhat IS a girl to do?
I found Caitlin Flanagan’s January 22, 2012 essay, “What’s A Girl To Do”, both intriguing and moving, and although my initial reaction was enthusiastic because what she wrote aligned so well with my personal values , I found I was challenging myself on her very thesis. Basically, she made the case that the book Forever …
Continue ReadingAn open letter to Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow — about virginity and other important matters.
Tim, first of all let me say I’m really sorry about your team’s loss to the Patriots. What can I say? They were the better team. I’m sure you’d agree. But now that the season’s over, let’s talk about more important things. Let’s talk about sex. I understand that like many religious young people, you’ve …
Continue ReadingThe year in clinical sexuality, 2011.
As we get ready to leave 2011 behind, I would like as always to express my gratitude to family, friends and colleagues for your support and encouragement over the past year; and to my patients for your trust and confidence. May we all merit much happiness in 2012. Here’s my list of 2011′s most interesting …
Continue ReadingKissing, Part 3 — Why stop?
I have been actively looking for the answer to why people stop kissing. I love research, particularly medical and psychological journals, because I love to read and I really like to know the answers to why things are the way they are. After searching literally everywhere, I found almost nothing. I can find statistics on …
Continue ReadingKissing Part 1 — How often do you kiss?
A recent survey conducted by the British Heart Foundation found that, “one in five (18%) married people don’t pucker-up with their partner for an entire week, while two in five married people (40%) kiss for just five seconds or less when they get it on. Apparently Scots kiss the longest, for 28 seconds. And East …
Continue ReadingNewlywed’s guide to intimacy.
In my work at the Center I frequently see “Torah observant” women who are struggling with sexual and relationship issues in a new marriage. They are from a community where certain rules and rituals must be observed. A new book called The Newlywed’s Guide to Physical Intimacy has just come out by Jennie Rosenfeld, PhD …
Continue ReadingSeeing vaginismus everywhere.
My husband claims I see vaginismus everywhere. Okay. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I do…it kills me. When I see a woman who is totally avoidant of relationships I suspect she is fearful of penetration. When I see a young girl fearful of tampons, I suspect she is panicked at the idea of putting something inside. …
Continue ReadingAdversity and desire.
It happens all the time. A tearful, distraught woman sits down and informs us that: Her husband is leaving her/has left her. Her husband is having/was having an affair. She believes this is due to the fact that they haven’t had sex in (you fill in the blank: 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 …
Continue ReadingA good day at our center.
Someone once asked me what makes a good day at our center. Today is one of those days. Today I got an email with a copy of a baby picture from a patient who struggled for 2 years with vaginismus. She is fine, having great sex and has a beautiful little baby girl to prove …
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