Painful Sex Patient Reviews

I am so thankful for Maze, for providing me with low-level laser therapy. The staff at Maze was always encouraging and empathetic. I had tried hormonal cream and physical therapy yet nothing worked to help my vestibulodynia until the LLLT – it was truly a miracle! The laser itself never hurt and even after only a few sessions with the LLL, I could feel a difference. Going through all of the therapy sessions along with dilator insertion has left me, finally, painful-sex free!

As I exited your offices yesterday, I felt both regret- that I had waited so damn long to get help, and great excitement- that there was hope in resolving my issue.

I had not realized how menopause was slowly taking away some of the emotional treasures of my life.  I had made peace with my suddenly furry face and having to throw off my blankets in the middle of the night, but painful sex was taking away the cherished intimacy between my husband and myself.

I had gone to my gynecologist a few months earlier and when I brought up the pain, my gynecologist dismissed it as peri-menopausal and recommended a different lubricant.   More recently, when I mentioned the pain to a close friend, she insisted that I go to Maze center and get evaluated. That it was too early in my life to start compromising on the quality of my sex life.  Initially, I was resistant at setting up the appointment and having to reveal such intimate details to a group of strangers but after another episode of painful sex, I made the appointment.  I consider it one of the best decisions I have ever made.

The Maze team was lovely, compassionate and very respectful.  They were patient and explained to me everything was taking place in my body and that there was no need to live with the ongoing pain.  They laid out several options and made me feel that there was hope in resolving my issue.  I walked out of the office feeling great relief and excitement.

When I had discussed my issue with many of my friends, they mentioned having similar issues but had taken no action- and they asked me to report back if I had found a solution.  Well- I have a solution and it’s the Maze center.  I will be sharing my findings with any woman that mentions this challenge. It is horrible that so many women are suffering needlessly with symptoms of menopause that can be so easily treated.

I cannot thank the Maze center enough.

THANK YOU!

It has been three months since my initial visit and I no longer experience painful intercourse.  I have my sex life back!

I was experiencing painful intercourse for about a year and with proper treatment I got my sex life back in a short period of time.

My husband is a patient of Dr. Werner’s.  I went with him to an appointment one day and I saw a pamphlet in the waiting room explaining how many women experience painful intercourse post menopause. After reading the pamphlet I immediately decided to make an appointment.

My first appointment was a very pleasant experience.  I had a consultation with Tara Ford and Bat Sheva Marcus and they both made me feel very comfortable.  I was able to speak freely about my sex life and what I was experiencing with painful intercourse.  The next thing was the physical examination.  Tara described each part of the exam to me prior to it being done.  I was relaxed during the exam as I knew what to expect.  My reaction did not change, but just reinforced my decision to seek treatment.

My treatment included medication first and then dilation. I began to see results within the first month and my condition kept getting better with every week that went by.

Women should know that they are not alone.  There are many women experiencing the same problem.  If you are experiencing post-menopausal painful intercourse like I was, don’t wait to seek treatment.  Make an appointment right away.  You too can get your sex life back.

I can’t say enough about MCFS! It changed my life with my husband.

After breast cancer a double mastectomy, I had an oophorectomy and began taking anti-estrogen meds. I was experiencing severe dryness and very painful intercourse. I spoke with many doctors about my issues including my oncologist, my gynecologist and my general practitioner. Not one of the doctors had anything to offer me. They told me to use a couple of over the counter solutions which I tried with no relief.

I was close to giving up hope when a friend of mine told me about Maze. They helped me get my sex life back. They really listen and had all kinds of advice. I can’t say enough about how they helped me. I want to tell any woman out there who thinks they won’t ever be able to have comfortable sex again to go to Maze. It does require some work, but they help you through it and end up with real results!

I learned about Maze Women’s Sexual Health in a New York Times article about women and mid-life sexual changes. I had been having less and less interest in sex along with discomfort (dryness primarily), so sex itself was uncomfortable even when I was interested. My body just seemed to be drying up. I went through menopause about four years ago and I thought once that was done that the changes would stop, but they didn’t. That’s when the dryness and lack of interest and response became worse and worse.

I talked to my regular gynecologist about this and she prescribed Vagifem. It helped a little with the dryness, but sex was still uncomfortable and I still had very little interest or response. I thought about calling Maze for a while before I actually made the call because I felt embarrassed, but the staff was really nice and obviously knew how to handle the calls. I was nervous going to the first appointment, especially filling out the forms and answering questions that were embarrassing to me. When I met with Melissa and Rachel, I felt like my problem was nothing new to them but at the same time I felt like I was a unique person. They listened really closely, they had good senses of humor and I felt like they understood what I was trying to tell them.

At the first appointment, they took blood work, gave me some vaginal cream to use to complement the Vagifem (and explained why the Vagifem doesn’t always work alone) and talked to me about the role testosterone plays in a woman’s sexual response. I learned a ton!

I’m now taking the estrogen cream and Vagifem along with a testosterone gel and it has made a huge difference. I have no pain or discomfort during sex and I have a much better response than I’ve had in years! I know so many women could benefit from this kind of support and I’d encourage them to make a call and go see what can be done.

I was experiencing pain during intercourse and I had no sexual desire. I lived with it for almost 4 years throughout my marriage (I was a virgin when I got married). The first step I took was to ask my ob/gyn for advice on the matter, and was referred to the Medical Center for Female Sexuality to seek help.

I was nervous about making the call, but I also knew it was the only way to fix my situation. At the beginning of my first appointment I was very nervous because I had no idea what to expect and I was extremely embarrassed because I’m a very private person and I did not feel comfortable talking about my sex life with complete strangers. However, I felt that both practitioners were very knowledgeable and comforting, letting me know that there are plenty of women out there going through the same thing.

At Maze, they discovered very quickly that the birth control pill was messing up my hormones which caused the pain. From the very first appointment, I left with specific, tangible things to do at home. Everything came with directions and everything was explained to me in detail. I started with dilators and the Estrogen cream and I was directed to get off the pill immediately.

It took about 3 months for things to begin to resolve but it felt like the blink of an eye, and as of yet I have not had a relapse or needed more help. My sex life has become incredibly great! I always thought I would just never enjoy sex but now I’m initiating it, very frequently, too. I also feel less inhibited with my husband. Both of us are really enjoying our time together.

I learned that there are no or very few conditions in the sex department that cannot be treated. You just need the courage to speak up about what you’re going through; that’s the biggest obstacle.

Do not think that you are the only one going through this. You can take matters into your own hands and change your situation. The results will come very quickly and you’ll feel like a totally different person. Do not feel embarrassed because these people are extremely professional and knowledgeable and they will quickly become your best friends. I always say they deserve a medal for the work they do! They can dramatically improve women’s lives and save many marriages!

I just wanted to write a note to say thank you, Tara, for all you have done! I really appreciate all your help. I know you are a specialist and all but I have never had a medical provider be so attentive and responsive as you and everyone else at the center were to me.

It’s such a good feeling to have this issue (lichen sclerosis) fixed/under control, but even more so in learning/finally understanding that it is fine and okay to talk about sex and whatever issues are happening in that area with significant others, friends, doctors etc. as for some reason I was brought up to never ever talk about sex (super healthy right ha ha).

Tara and Rachel are wonderful and I would recommend you in a heartbeat! Thank you again.

Shortly after going through menopause I started experiencing searing pain during intercourse. I spoke to my gynecologist about it and he prescribed some hormone cream. It didn’t help the problem and my doctor said there was nothing he could do. So for many, many years I abstained from intercourse with my husband.

On the Internet one day I found information about Maze Women’s Sexual Health. I was very interested and thought maybe they could help me. I waited four months before I gave them a call.

I called and filled out the necessary forms and set up my first appointment. I first spoke with a sex therapist and then with Melissa. She explained the treatment to me, which was simple enough. During the first treatment I did experience some pain, but worked through it and eventually it subsided. I progressed through the treatment quickly. It took about three months after which my husband and I finally tried to have intercourse again and I was totally pain free! I was so thankful to the Center for their patience and understanding. I am celebrating my 40th wedding anniversary and I feel like a young bride again.

I had pain during sex that could only be described as the type of pain you get from a paper cut. Upon closer examination it was discovered that I did in fact have a paper cut like tear where the pain was. I also had nearly no sex drive at all, which was beginning to affect my relationship.

I lived with the issue of pain for 7-8 years. I also had asked each Gynecologist during my annuals if they could fix this issue for the past 6 years or so. No one ever gave me any more advice than to use extra lubrication. This never seemed to help, and I had mostly given up and adapted the idea that the pain was “normal.” It wasn’t until my significant other became concerned that I realized something was actually wrong.

The main cause for both my issues stemmed from using hormonal birth control and not being informed by my previous doctors that these are side effects from these kinds of medications. If I had been properly informed about the side effects when I started this medication, I would not have suffered for 8 years.

I casually sought help from every doctor I saw for my annuals. None of them thought twice when I asked for my refill of birth control. In the 6 months before I found Maze Women’s Sexual Health I saw 3 other doctors just for these issues. I was prescribed steroid creams, estrogen creams, and one doctor even wanted to biopsy the incredibly sensitive area that was always in pain. After much frustration with my regular Gynecologist, she gave me a pamphlet to the Center.

Calling for the first time was a little hard. I was in so much despair due to so many failed attempts. I didn’t think another doctor was going to find anything that the others hadn’t.

My first appointment I found myself to be very comfortable with the doctors. I could be as open and blunt as I needed to be and they were receptive to all my concerns. I think the most drastic of my reactions was the surprise I had when I was not rushed into a cold exam room and given a gown but instead I sat down and I got to talk about my sexually history, my issues in depth, my concerns, my hopes, and everything I needed my Doctor to know. I wasn’t just a medical issue that needed to be fixed; I was a person with a problem that was affecting my life. This was the first time my problems were treated this way.

My problems began to resolve just a few weeks after ending my birth control. Since then, so far so good! But if I ever do have to come back I am happy I have a place that cares and knows what they are doing to come back to.

I feel great. I can enjoy sex again.

This taught me that everyone reacts different to different medications and we are not always informed of all the issues that we may encounter.

Don’t wait any longer, because as soon as you start feeling better and find the treatment is working you’ll wish you had started years ago.

I struggled with painful intercourse from the day I became sexually active. Since sex had never felt any different, I assumed that was how intercourse was supposed to feel.

I enjoyed every other part of my sex life, had no problem obtaining orgasm, as long as it did not involve penetration I was fine. Because every woman I knew loved sexual intercourse, I figured my issue must be psychological.

After all, if there was something wrong with my body, I figured, wouldn’t my gynecologist have said something to me? I went to therapy but it did not fix how intercourse felt. It took me 20 years to mention my issue to two gynecologists, due to my shame, but they couldn’t give me any answers. They suggested trying different positions (as if I hadn’t!). One mentioned the importance of relaxing, which only furthered my shame that I must have had some psychological issue.

After I gave birth to my first child, I had complications that required me to get stitches twice, and intercourse became not just painful but unbearable. At that point, I felt I had no choice but to seek help because it was impacting my marriage.

Our marriage therapist mentioned to me that vaginismus is a physical reflex (not psychological) condition and that it is truly involuntary. That made me feel more comfortable seeking help. By chance, I saw a newspaper article featuring Dr. Marcus from Maze Women’s Sexual Health. As I searched on the internet, they were the only agency in the area that addressed my issue.

I read the testimonials on their website and I really connected to the women who wrote about them. It still took me three weeks to call. I was afraid I would cry as soon as they answered the phone and I didn’t want to feel embarrassed. When I mustered up enough courage, I made an appointment. Finally, I was where I belonged.

Although it was difficult to share my story with them, I knew I needed to address my issue. The women I spoke with helped me to feel heard. The dilators I was given were the best part of my treatment. I started with the small and progressed to the large until my body became accustomed to allowing a full sized penis to enter me without any pain.

The process was so much easier than I had imagined! When my blood was tested at the clinic, it was also discovered that my DHEA and my testosterone level was way below the normal range which explained why my sexual desire was not strong.

In addition to taking a natural supplement to help increase my DHEA and testosterone, it was recommended that I take an anti-depressant temporarily. I was most resistant to taking the anti-depressant because I have never taken medication for anything. But, in my heart, I knew I was not happy. After a few weeks, I agreed to try an anti-depressant that would not negatively impact sexual desire or weight gain (because some of them do). This also helped tremendously. It was as if a big dark cloud had lifted from over my head and the sun had finally come out. Now, I was both enjoying intercourse and life!

I want to thank Maze for helping me to feel like a normal woman.

For about 5 years, around my menopausal period, sexual intercourse with my husband became painful. We stopped having sexual intercourse and we both got so busy between work, family (older parents), our own children and other things.

I told my gynecologist and she tried to help me, but we were not successful. My gynecologist referred me to Maze. After all that time, and all our attempts at solving the problem ourselves, I was ready to get help.

I made the appointment because I needed help, so I listened to everything they told me and followed their instructions the best I can. They did not ask me to do anything that I was not comfortable doing.

My condition needed a process called “dilation”. I did it gradually under their supervision until I reached the state where I may try to have sexual intercourse with my husband. It took more or less 5 months from my first visit due to several disruptions on my part.

I had some little setbacks during the process, but Maze was always there to help me. Now, I feel happy to be able to fulfill one of my duties as a wife.

It turns out my situation is common to many women my age. There is help out there. We have to ask and I believe the best place to start is with our gynecologist. If you can’t get help there, don’t give up.

This women’s condition is not a sickness. This is part of aging process which unfortunately we all have to go through. I am just thankful that nowadays there are professionals who can help us address this condition and not face it by ourselves.

My problem was pain during sex and I lived with it my whole life. I mentioned the problem to my gynecologist but it did not result in anything helpful.

My sister was treated at Maze and she highly recommended my seeking treatment there. I felt slightly embarrassed when I first came to Maze but after seeing how confident and knowledgeable everyone was, that feeling was replaced by courage.

It is believed that the cause of my pain was from long term use of the birth control pill. Dr. Bat Sheva and a wonderful nurse sat with me and discussed my problem in detail; different treatments were considered and tried and they did not give up until my problem was solved.

This was a process; it took a few months until we figured out the cause. Once it was determined, my problem began to disappear rather quickly and now I feel fabulous and sex doesn’t hurt anymore.

The single most important thing I learned from this experience is to be patient and seek out the people who have the ability to help you at all costs. I believe that the people at Maze do care and will work hard to help you whatever your problem.

For years I put my feelings to the side, making excuses for why I could not use tampons or have sex. After being married for almost a year, my wonderful husband and I were still unable to consummate our marriage. Every time we attempted intercourse, it would end in tears and I could feel my confidence being eaten away.

My husband is an incredible, understanding man, but I could see our troubles with intercourse affecting his confidence as well. There were no more excuses left to be made.

Finally, I said enough is enough. I had to be fair to myself, my husband and our relationship. I took my gynecologist’s advice and saw a psychologist. Unfortunately, I left her office feeling more down on myself and alone than ever before.

“Why can’t I just have sex like everyone else?” I thought as I cried on my couch. In desperation, my husband and I surfed the internet for help, and there it was: Maze Women’s Sexual Health. Finally, we had hope.

Of course, I was extremely anxious about making the phone call. This was our last hope, what if this resulted in disappointment just as all our other attempts to a solution did? But, we had nothing to worry about.

At the Maze I was not looked at with confusion or sorrow, but with compassion and understanding. There was finally a name for my problem- Vaginismus. And even better, there was a solution.

In a matter of a few months, I went from being terrified and anxious about intercourse to having and enjoying intercourse. My treatment consisted of about 7 weeks of daily exercises. At first they were a bit painful, but they became easier and easier with each passing day. I could feel the progress- it was actually working!

Looking back, I cannot believe how fast and easy the process was! In a matter of months, the Maze Women’s Sexual Health “fixed” the struggles I thought would never end.

Maze changed my life. I can finally have and enjoy intercourse like the rest of the world. I feel normal again, and that is the greatest gift in the world.

The amazing doctors were there for me every step of the way, and I cannot thank them enough. They seemed to know what I was thinking before I said it, taking away my discomfort and guilt. They understood my problem, created a course of action, and best of all, made me believe I could do it.

I wish I had known of Maze Women’s Sexual Health years ago. No one should suffer from sexual discomfort and I urge anyone who does to call Maze. You deserve it.

– K, NJ, Age 26 –

A follow up comment from this patient several months after treatment:

I just wanted to write and let you know that I went to the gynecologist (for an exam) and everything went well! I was able to have the full exam!

I finally know for sure that I am healthy and can have peace of mind knowing I conquered the challenge I have been facing for years. I would never have been able to do it without you.

Thank you so much!!

And another exciting follow up:

I just wanted to write and let you know that I am 15 weeks pregnant!! I just wanted to thank you once again for the miracles you provide. I am forever grateful!

– K –

Originally I thought I had an extremely bad yeast infection that just wouldn’t go away. I finally went in to see the doctor and he told me that I was inflamed and irritated and he prescribed a higher dosage of medication to deal with the infection.

The medication didn’t help with the inflammation and irritation and at the same time I started to complain about painful intercourse and light bleeding afterwards.

The doctor then recommended using Vagifem after explaining that what was happening was a thinning of the vaginal walls due to menopause. It was frustrating and disheartening. I used Vagifem daily for 2 weeks and the condition did not improve.

At the end of that 2 week period my husband and I attempted intercourse again and I had to have him stop due to the pain.

My doctor then put me on Premarin for 2 weeks nightly, and again at the end of that time period sex felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper in and out of my vagina. My husband of 34 years was supportive but he was also frustrated.

At that time my doctor suggested I make an appointment with Maze Women’s Sexual Health. From my first phone call to them, throughout the whole process, they were completely supportive and compassionate about my concerns and difficulties.

I did feel uncomfortable with their initial line of questioning since mine was only a physical difficulty, nothing to do with lack of desire before this whole condition started.

But eventually, I found that everyone I spoke to was understanding and this helped me to deal with the problem in a more positive manner now that I felt there was finally a solution.

I followed their procedure as prescribed, at times it was uncomfortable, but eventually I started to feel an improvement. I now do the procedure 4 – 5 times a week as maintenance and I use Premarin 2 – 3 times a week. If I feel any discomfort I just make sure that I keep up with the program and it feels better. My husband and I are enjoying our sexual relationship again.

Thanks so much for your help!

My problem was very difficult to diagnosis, and was given many different diagnoses. My midwife’s practice thought it was “difficult BV,” and then they said chronic yeast infections even though all the tests for yeast were negative. I suffered with pain and itching, gross discharge and uncomfortable episodes weekly, and sex, forget it, very painful. This went on and off for 4 years.

Finally I saw a GYN who told me I had vulvar vestibulitis, and started me on a regime of medicines and prescribed no sex for what seemed like forever. I followed her recommendations for months and I was not getting very much better and still no sex.

After years of pain and almost 6 months of no sex, something had to give. So she gave me the info for Maze Women’s Sexual Health, and I had my first appointment in August 2010. I couldn’t wait. I just wanted a cure.

Well, I think of myself as one who does not embarrass easily and is pretty open, but I must say the first appointment and the sexual history was a slight bit awkward, but the staff at the center make you feel so comfortable and that it is ok to talk about sex, that you loosen up almost instantly, or at least I did.

I looked forward to my appointments and to meet with people who really cared if I was getting well. Not to mention I was taking the time I needed to work on my issue and correct it.

By September, I was having sex with little to no pain, and over the next couple months I was on a regime that was working well and warded off the itching, discharge and the discomfort and the pain. It was amazing. I was so grateful.

The staff gave a working diagnosis of vulvodynia and specific treatment for it, and we tapered the treatment over time, and initially that didn’t work, so we had to resume the big guns. But by November the tapering could be done successfully, and I must say I finished with Maze in December 2010, and I am almost totally off my medications, with no relapse.

So in a matter of five months I was totally cured after 4 years of suffering and embarrassment and feelings of not being heard, and inadequacies.

I am so grateful to the staff at Maze for their time, and empathy and expertise. I highly recommend the Center if you are suffering with any sexual issues or medical problems in that “area” that aren’t resolving.

Don’t wait, there is no reason to!

By the time I went to visit Maze I was a mess and starting to think I was crazy. I had been with my boyfriend for 3 years. The first year we were together things were great. We were having sex all the time. Sometimes twice a day. A year later though, something weird started happening. Suddenly I had pain when we were having intercourse. I thought it might have had something to do with the new birth control I was on (the Nuvaring) since the pain started up shortly after I started using it. I asked my ob/gyn who insisted there was no connection.

The next two years were terrible sexually. The pain got worse and worse and I was less and less interested in sex. My vagina seemed to get more and more irritated and prone to infections. It was starting to drive my boyfriend crazy and it was making me upset.

By the time I got to Maze I had stopped having intercourse altogether and I was beginning to think no one could help me. I had stopped the Nuvaring by this time but was feeling generally hopeless.

Well, things have certainly changed. At the first visit Shannon and Melissa assured me that the Nuvaring was often the cause of vaginal pain and they thought I was absolutely correct to have stopped using it. They also diagnosed and treated a raging infection, treated low Vitamin D, prescribed some topical creams and had me work with dilators. I couldn’t believe it! One month after I started seeing them I was a totally different person. When I came in for my last visit I told them that I had sex 5 times during the last week and a half. I think that’s more than we had the entire year before! I’m trying to get my (very happy) boyfriend to write a testimonial as well.

I came to Maze Women’s Sexual Health in a state of desperation. I had spent the past seven years unable to have intercourse with my husband because it was too painful. All along, I thought it was something I’d “get used to,” but it became clear that that was not going to happen. I had no idea where to turn and I was afraid that this would be a lifetime sentence…for me and my wonderful husband.

I consulted my gynecologist, who was sympathetic but had no suggestions as to how this problem may be treated. I also consulted my endocrinologist with the same result. All the while, intimacy with my husband was strained because of my feelings of anxiety and guilt. If not for his patience and understanding, I don’t think our new marriage (we are a couple in our 20s) would have endured.

It was a few years, after realizing that I needed some kind of medical help, before I figured out where to turn for it. Through research online I came upon the website for Maze and I called immediately. I can still remember the excitement I felt after describing my problem, when the receptionist said “Yes, you’ve called the right place.” I was cautiously optimistic…but this was much closer than I’d come to a solution than ever before.

Shortly thereafter, I met with Dr. Marcus. She put me at ease right away with her “You-can-call-me-Bat Sheva” familiarity. Her ease at talking about sex made me laugh to myself and probably blush in her presence, but also it made me feel completely uninhibited, knowing she was not judging me. She was very honest, and made no promises about a quick and easy treatment, which made me trust her that much more. As a woman in my 20s having these kinds of problems with sex, which none of my friends had ever experienced nor have my doctors known much about, I felt anxious and for lack of a better term “like a freak of nature.” Bat Sheva made me feel like discussing my inner-most problems was “coffee talk” because she was so approachable, yet at the same time she always maintained a professional demeanor.

One could say that Bat Sheva Marcus led me to the yellow brick road and at the end was a healthy sex life. My treatment consisted of 6 weeks of daily exercises that were a little uncomfortable at worst…but I felt a steady progression, which was very encouraging. Bat Sheva and her team monitored my progress and were available for questions. And now that horribly painful intercourse, a condition that nobody would validate or acknowledge, much less treat, is a thing of my past.

It is so important for women to know that they do not need to suffer and “just deal with” intercourse that is painful…and that just because the problem is not common, doesn’t make it insignificant.

It was one of the best things I ever did for myself and my marriage.

I came to Maze after a couple of frustrating months of being a newlywed and not able to consummate my marriage. I had a feeling that before I got married that I would have trouble with consummating my marriage because visits to the gynecologist had been very painful.

With the support of my husband I called Maze Women’s Sexual Health and made an appointment. The atmosphere was warm and friendly yet professional. After a quick physical examination it was determined that I had vaginisimus. The treatment was inserting dilators in order to expand the vagina and make it easier for me to get used to have something inside of me. Every week I used a bigger dilator until I had gotten to the largest one. I think there were about 7 or 8. At the beginning the treatment was very painful…As the weeks went on I became more comfortable with the dilators and it progressed from pain to mild discomfort.

While I wouldn’t say the treatment was easy, it was definitely worthwhile and effective. The support and encouragement I received along the way from everyone made it possible to complete the program successfully. I am now able to enjoy sex with my husband without any pain. I urge anyone with a sexual problem to get help at Maze It was one of the best things I ever did for myself and my marriage.

My partner and I planned a trip to Aruba, which was kind of intended to be our honeymoon. Life has felt pretty busy and stressful lately, so we were really looking forward to getting away for some relaxation. We had talked about potentially attempting intercourse at some point during the trip, but didn’t necessarily have any expectations. Then we actually decided to give it a try on the first night and were successful! Since I had dilated with the pink dilator immediately before, insertion was actually relatively easy. Since then, we tried a couple more times. Each time was a slight improvement, but still required very careful movements and communication.

At this time, the whole process still feels a bit like “work” to me, as I need to prep with dilation, and then need a lot of mental focus even during intercourse since I’m getting used to all the new sensations. I know with more experience over time, I will continue to be more comfortable with the feeling, as well as giving up that control. One thing I can say is that it did NOT hurt! And even though it wasn’t the most incredible experience for me physically, we were both overwhelmed with emotion and almost couldn’t believe it finally happened.

When I think about how I suffered from vaginismus for nearly 15 years, it almost seems unreal that I could achieve pain-free intercourse only 51 days post-procedure. Words can’t describe how grateful I am for the staff at Maze. This whole experience has truly been life-changing in the best way. Thank you so much for all your support and guidance along the way.

Congratulations on your new book, Dr. Marcus! I am a former Maze (nyc office) patient. I just saw you highlighted on Katie Couric’s Instagram and felt compelled to reach out to you. Your practice changed my life and I will be eternally grateful. Ten years ago I came to you scared and ashamed with a severe case of vaginismus. The Botox treatment and dilation was a lifesaver. You and your staff are quite literally the reason that  my two precious little boys exist today. Without the treatment I would most likely still be single, childless and hopelessly unable to do anything about it. Instead, I’m a happy wife, mother, woman! Thank you, thank you, a million times thank you! You do amazing work!!

I was a virgin on my wedding night. I was also a virgin the next night and the next and the next. It literally felt like he was hitting a wall. After a few weeks, I sought help from my gynecologist. She gave me three diagnoses (congenital tightness, hypersensitivity, vaginismus), a couple of prescriptions, and a recommendation for a physical therapist. With time, dilators and enough lidocaine, I was able to engage in intercourse sporadically. When the numbing cream wore off, I simply slipped out to the bathroom to bleed and to cry. Though it still hurt, I believed the only way to get better was to keep trying. Again, I tried to explain to someone in my gynecologist’s office. Once they ruled out infection, they had no other explanations. I tried another doctor. She saw no evidence of tearing (then what was bleeding?) and suggested it may be an issue of dryness (but why would a 26-year-old be dry?). She diagnosed it as vulvodynia, and she had the cure, too: Maze.

Maze recognized immediately what my other doctors never saw: the birth control those other doctors prescribed had some adverse effects. Coupled with my natural tightness, it caused painful sex and tearing. Tara and Bat Sheva treated me with hormones and dilation, with patience, humor and frankness.

I cried when Bat Sheva told me I couldn’t attempt sex until I healed. It was such a relief from the crushing guilt I felt. For months I had avoided sex and called myself a coward. I felt guilty for not wanting sex. I didn’t want to face the pain of it, but wasn’t pain the only way to get better? It may not have been my fault that my body was built this way (in fact, it definitely wasn’t), but I thought it was my fault that I wasn’t fixing it. I thought the pain was helping and I was just too weak to face it. I was wrong. Bat Sheva was validating. “Why” she asked “would you do something that hurts you?”

As much as this is a physical issue, it is compounded by fear and guilt. The team at Maze Women’s Sexual health guided and they listened. Even as we cleared away one problem, another would lurk behind it. Each time, Maze had an answer. I’m happy to say that my husband and I have a normal sex life now. It came in waves — ebbs and flows. First, I could tolerate sex. Then the pain went away, but I felt numb (I think what I secretly hoped for was for the pain to be replaced by pleasure). Finally, we found our stride. No pain, no tearing, no fear. Thank you, Maze!

What was the problem?

My problem was that anytime I tried having sex, my vagina simply wouldn’t let anything in. No matter how aroused or ready I was mentally and physically, I would tense up anytime fingers or a penis touched outside my entrance. In the past when I tried having full on intercourse my vagina would feel extremely tight and begin to burn when a penis tried to enter.

How long did you live with it?

The first time I tried having sex I was 17 and did not experience penetration until I was 28, so 11 years.

Did you seek treatment elsewhere? What was that like for you?

No. After refusing to get on the exam table at the gynecologist around age 19, I mentioned to the Doctor that I had heard of a condition called Vaginismus and I thought I may have it. The Doctor told me that only a small percentage of the population had vaginismus and that I did not (with no testing, etc.). That was the last time I went to the gynecologist and avoided the issue with anyone professionally until Maze before my 28th birthday.

What was the cause, if it can be determined or if you have some hypotheses?

When I was 15, I had such bad menstrual cramps that I was sent to the hospital. After this visit, I was sent to the gynecologist to be examined for cysts and given a pap smear. I was nervous to begin with and when the Doctor went to put the speculum inside me, the pain was so great that I became very light headed. I could not and would not allow the Doctor to continue with the examination. The pain that the Doctor put me through triggered my brain and body to associate the touching of the entrance of my vagina to that pain. I had a good grasp on the fact that this experience was the reason that I froze up when a penis got near my vagina entrance but I thought I could fix it myself. Many sexual partners later, I had made no progress besides lots of anal sex.

How did you find us?

Google.

How did you feel about making the call for an appointment; was it a hard thing to do?

When I made the initial call to Maze, I was at my wits end, trying to date guys and not able to have sex with them. I was at a point that I knew I needed professional help and looking back, I believe I was most worried that I would not be able to be fixed or that maybe I had some wild physical condition that required surgery. It was a hard thing for me to finally seek help professionally. Once I made the call though, I knew I was at least on my way to an answer to my problem.

What was your first reaction to your first appointment; did that reaction change over time?

At my first appointment, it was concluded that I did have vaginismus and I could be treated. The Doctor had only placed the smallest dilator on the outside of my vagina. I was too scared to let her go farther but felt I had made so much progress already at that point. After my first appointment, I was mentally focused, ready and willing to start the dilation process and to confront this fear I had. I was nervous, anxious and excited to get the whole thing over with and enjoy my sex life.

How was your condition addressed – briefly describe the treatment?

I used dilators every week and each week dilators got progressively bigger. I knew that some dilatations could take more than a week but I was determined not to let that happen. I thought that if I got sidetracked one week that I wouldn’t be able to get out of my head and that I may get stuck. I stayed extremely focused and did not allow myself to get discouraged if the self-dilations took longer than I would have liked.

How long did it take until the problem began to resolve?

Every week I dilated and moved onto the next size. I started dilations on January 14th and had sex March 21, so about nine weeks.

How do you feel now?

Now I feel great! My sex life is healthy and I now know that my brain and my vagina are on the same page. I am so grateful for the entire staff at MCFS, especially Tara and Bat Sheva for helping me confront my fear.

What is the single most important thing you learned from this experience?

The single most important thing I learned from this experience is that I am a more courageous person than I thought myself to be. Yes, I needed help along the way to confront this fear but ultimately it was up to me to get over the issues I was dealing with and get my brain and my vagina connected.

What would you tell others to encourage them to take action and seek help for their condition?

My words of encouragement are that you must believe in yourself and trust the professionals, that they want to best for you and they know what is best for you. Yes, every dilation is going to be scary but every dilation brings you one step closer to your goal and with every dilation you gain a little more courage for the next time. It may feel embarrassing to take action and get help, but it is absolutely the necessary thing to do.

Last year I gave birth to a healthy little girl…she was actually a VBAC birth with no pain medication!!

I often think back to the first time I came to see you and how painful it was to use those early dilators and how afraid I was then to give birth. It is really amazing how far I have come thanks to all of your help!

In a million years I never would have dreamed that I would be able to give birth without pain medicine! Thank you all so much for all that you did for me!

Four years ago, I was married and began my sexual life. That’s when my problem started. Every time we tried having intercourse, it didn’t work out. I couldn’t even insert my finger or a tampon into my vagina.

I went to see a hypnotist, a physical therapist and had a special massage, but nothing helped. Everyone told me that the problem was all in my head! Then I heard about Maze Women’s Sexual Health. I called them right away but didn’t make an appointment. I was so afraid that like the previous services I tried, they would not be able to help me. A few months later, I decided enough was enough and called to schedule an appointment.

My husband came with me to the first appointment because I was so nervous and embarrassed by my problem. I thought that I was the only one with such an issue but then I found out that a lot of women experience this.

At Maze Women’s Sexual Health, they explained to me what my problem was and discussed treatment. I started using a small dilator and was surprised that I could actually insert it into my vagina! I continued the exercises every night, going from size extra small to large plus. After 2 months, I was ready for intercourse. I was crying because I couldn’t believe it was finally going to happening.

Maze changed our lives. My husband and I are much closer now.

I want to thank Melissa and Rachel for everything they have done for us. And if you have the same problem, please don’t wait, schedule an appointment. This place is amazing!

I first had sex with a partner at 18, and it was so painful I thought I was going to die. I thought that was normal. It’s your first time, right? Everybody said the first time is painful, that it would get better. It never did. Penetrative sex was always excruciating, as if I was being ripped open from the inside. There was nothing fun or pleasurable about it. I kept waiting for it to start feeling good, but that moment never happened.

I only had one boyfriend in college, and that relationship lasted 3 months. After the first few experiences, I began to avoid men. How could you have a conversation with a potential partner, or even make out with them? You know at some point, sex is going to come up, and you’re going to have a humiliating conversation about how you can’t have sex, and who wants to be with a woman who can’t have sex?

Nobody ever discussed sexuality with me growing up. We discussed the mechanics of it, and birth control, but we never discussed how to feel in touch with our bodies, or how to give and receive pleasure. I thought sex was a natural thing that everybody just inherently knew how to do. My girlfriends told me about the great sex they were having, and people in movies were having sex all the time and enjoying it. I felt like a freak of nature. I couldn’t do something that was supposedly instinct. I felt like a failure as a woman.

I was 23 when I noticed my libido died overnight. I thought maybe I could force it to come back. I tried a lot of one-night stands. It didn’t help with getting aroused, and sex was just as painful as ever. I became depressed and withdrawn.

I started researching “painful sex” on Amazon. I thought, what if I assume that painful sex isn’t normal? Let’s assume the problem isn’t me. Let’s assume it can be solved.I was stunned by the flood of books that came up. Painful sex was apparently an epidemic for women, and I never knew. Nobody ever talked about it. I’d only in the last year begun asking my ob/gyns about this. Every doctor said the same thing, “I don’t know. Maybe you just haven’t found the right partner yet.” This always made me want to scream.

I immediately googled clinics that treated painful sex and I couldn’t believe my luck when I discovered Maze Women’s Sexual Health. I made an appointment for the following week.

The waiting room staff was just as friendly in person as they were over the phone, and I was relieved to see it was all women. My team was Melissa (a Family Nurse Practioner) and Rachel (a Clinical Psychotherapist). I was pleasantly surprised by that. It was obvious that Maze cared about physical as well as mental and emotional health. They wanted to tackle my issue from all angles. I felt comfortable right away. I think that first session, I just spent 45 minutes talking Rachel’s ear off about my sexual and relationship history. Rachel was fantastic. She listened, didn’t judge, and just held the space for me while I unloaded at least 12 years of feelings.

I was a little scared going into an examination room with Melissa. Going for my yearly ob/gyn check-ups was always traumatic because I couldn’t stand being touched. Melissa was super understanding, though. She used a child-size speculum and gave me a mirror so I could see what she was doing. That took away a lot of the fear. Melissa discovered that my vaginal muscles were super tight. She said I’d probably had a tight pelvic floor since childhood and just never realized it. Treatment included loosening my muscles with dilators and a referral to a local physical therapist. I was relieved.

Melissa also did a full work-up on me: blood, hormones, the works. I was shocked to find everything come back normal. There was nothing wrong with my body, aside from a tight pelvic floor, which was fixable. At home, I continued working with the dilators. I went at my own pace and controlled use of the dilator, and with daily practice, I grew more and more comfortable feeling something inside me. As the strength in my pelvic floor increased, I began to use bigger dilators until I was at the biggest size, which I NEVER EVER thought was possible.

My mom noticed a change in me the day of my first appointment with Melissa and Rachel. I worked with Maze and my PT for over a month. Now, after only two months, I feel connected to my body, to my inner being. I feel like a woman.

If you’re having issues with your sexual health, don’t wait. I waited for years because I didn’t think there were any other options. I thought living with pain was normal. It’s not. Women and girls are rarely taught about how to have a healthy sexuality, so we don’t even know how to react when we have a problem. I lived with painful sex and depression for 12 years, and I didn’t have to. The team at Maze is amazing and they’re here for you.

Sex was very painful. For some reason (which ended up being vaginismus), I could not have sex without pain. I didn’t know why, but it lasted for over a year before I sought help. It was emotionally, psychologically, and physically hard to deal with; I didn’t want to talk to anyone (other than my husband) about it. Part of me thought it would get better. Part of me was afraid to talk to my doctor about it. Part of me felt embarrassed-why couldn’t I do something that everyone else could? I didn’t even know how to go about addressing it. I felt like the problem was so big — I didn’t know where to begin or what to do.

I finally went to my gynecologist who referred me to the Maze Women’s Sexual Health.

I was very afraid to make the first call. I probably cried for like 20 minutes before I dialed. I didn’t want to talk about this. I had lots of questions and was scared I would cry when I asked them. The woman I spoke to was so calm, helpful, and reassuring. I couldn’t believe how much calmer I felt just after the first phone call.

I was kind of a wreck the day of my first appointment. I was so nervous — partly to talk about this and partly for any exam I might have. I met with Bat Sheva who was the most reassuring person I have ever met. She listened to me and within minutes I knew I was talking to someone who really understood and was going to help me. I then met with Tara for my exam who is the most awesome person. She managed to make me laugh and made me feel so calm. Bat Sheva and Tara helped me feel in control and “normal.” They explained everything to me, understood every question I had, and patiently answered the same ones over and over. They made me feel like I had a team on my side.

I started with the dilation at my first appointment. I went up a size (and sometimes 2 sizes) every week. I had never thought that I would be able to do that. I was actually proud of myself.

It took me less than 2 months for my treatment to work! Within that short time, I got used to the dilation, and intercourse has not been painful. It is such a change. I am so grateful. I am still maintaining the dilation and I feel much more comfortable and in control of my body. I feel proud and happy that an issue that was so hard for me for over a year was able to be solved in less than 2 months.

This experience has taught me to not be afraid to ask for help. I was able to work with the most amazing people who were able to give me all the support I needed. I felt very alone dealing with this issue for over a year. From my first appointment, they became my support team.

When I was first referred here, I remember reading the other testimonials. They made me feel better- like I wasn’t alone. At the same time, I had this worry that I would be the exception; that my issue somehow wouldn’t get fixed; that I would be different. Within minutes of my first visit, I was reassured over and over that I wasn’t the exception; that there was a solution; that I really wasn’t the only one. I think its normal and, of course, understandable to feel that way — to feel scared. From someone who was there, I understand and I encourage you to seek help. With the right people on your side, you won’t believe how fixable this is. I still can’t believe it, but my life has changed. Everyone deserves that.

I always knew I had a unique situation/problem because the thought of inserting a tampon or anything else in my vagina terrified me. Before finding the Maze, I tried going to a psychiatrist and even a gynecologist to discuss my fears in addition to my fear of intercourse.

During my first visit to the gynecologist, she insisted on doing a pap smear, which terrified me as well. When she then insisted on only inserting her finger, she was amazed at how nervous it made me and sent me home. Her only advice was for me to seek a therapist, and she made me feel like I had a severe, abnormal problem.

I felt really hopeless, and I began researching different therapists.

As I was searching the internet, I came across the Maze and decided to call them right away. From the first phone call, I really felt that the staff understood what I was going through and assured me that I wasn’t alone and that they have successfully treated so many women with the same problem.

Upon my first visit, I was diagnosed with vaginismus. I began seeing Barbara once a week for therapy and I began the dilation process with Tara. They really made me feel comfortable and didn’t push me to do anything I wasn’t ready for. After 4 months of treatment, I was able to have intercourse without anxiety or fear. I was also able to successfully have a pap smear and the thought of tampons isn’t distressing!

I truly feel liberated and now able to have a healthy and enjoyable sex life. If you are struggling with any of the symptoms I described above, don’t hesitate to call the Maze. They are amazing at what they do!

Due to the sensitivity at the opening of my vagina and the tight muscles all around, I had painful intercourse. I lived with the pain for about half a year thinking it would go away. When it didn’t, an expert directed me to Maze Women’s Sexual Health for help.

Getting through to the Center (and scheduling appointments) was pretty easy and the people

I dealt with were extremely kind and accommodating!

At first, I was really uneasy about my visits since whatever was done to determine the problem caused real pain and irritation. Thanks to the support of Bat Sheva Marcus and Tara Ford, I learned to bear the pain and do what was necessary. I started doing dilation exercises every day for 10 minutes, changing to a bigger sized dilator every week. I was quite skeptical about what the results would be, but thankfully with time I felt a real difference and I became more comfortable with the entire dilation process.

It’s about two months later now and thank goodness my sex life has been great and totally different. I no longer have to fear pain, irritation or anxiety. I’m maintaining my dilation exercise for now and hopefully I’ll be totally done with it pretty soon.

This experience showed me that with determination, support and positivity everything is possible! You just need to do the right thing and go to the right places for help.

THANK YOU Bat Sheva, Tara and everyone else at Maze!!

I became sexually active when I got married and intercourse was extremely painful from the beginning. I tried to seek help from my practitioner who advised me to read books on female sexuality and to practice kegels as often as possible. Two years of doing kegel exercises seemed to help a little (i.e. made intercourse ‘bearable’), but after delivering my first baby everything went downhill. Postpartum sex was basically impossible because of pain and vaginal tightening. After trying a few treatments my OB sent me to an Urogynecologist who tried numerous procedures including local anesthesia shots, before finally recommending Maze Women’s Sexual Health.

By the time I contacted the Center I was nervous that this was my last resort at a functional sex life, and I was terrified that if they couldn’t fix my problem I would be out of options. I was initially skeptical of the dilation and therapy visits but as time wore on, the pain began to lessen and I was able to dilate using the largest dilators. During the therapy sessions the doctors clarified what might be viewed as ‘normal expectations’ in a person’s sex life, and taught me to embrace non-intercourse sex as well.

After two months of daily dilation I was ready to try intercourse, and I was shocked when there was virtually no pain. I cried from happiness when I realized that my sex life could be normal and healthy. I still cannot believe how far we’ve come.

Thanks to Maze I now think about sex and intercourse in a different, healthier way. I also feel equipped to deal with vaginismus problems, should they relapse. It’s also great to know that I can always call Maze with any problems or issues that might come up.

I cannot stress enough how important going to Maze was for me. They made me feel comfortable and empowered to do something about my problem, and my marriage as a whole is so much better because of them.

If you think you have a problem with intercourse PLEASE seek help. Nobody should have to suffer through intercourse pain; these problems are common, and incredibly treatable – if you get the right kind of help.

Maze – thank you!

For over a decade, I suffered in silence about my inability to have sex. Because I grew up in a religious family, it wasn’t something I could ask for help with, nor did I connect with a doctor whom I felt comfortable discussing my problems with. I felt unwomanly and even less than a human being. My self-esteem was so low, I put my head down in social situations and avoided going out and meeting people in general. All of my romantic relationships ended because of the situation. One day I mustered up the courage to call Maze Women’s Sexual Health. Within two months my psychological and physical issues were remedied and now I am able to have a normal, healthy sex life. The counselors and medical professionals are extremely thoughtful, understanding, and gentle. I would recommend to any one suffering with a sexual disorder to call Maze. They will change your life.

Once I reached 40 years old, I knew I needed to take care of my health and start to have regular pap smears, but I was avoiding it because I had a fear of penetration. I also had an aversion to female genitals. I seldom looked at my own and could only be touched either by myself or my partner with a soft fabric, or vibrator. Luckily I was able to have orgasms very easily and my boyfriends where always fun, kind and affectionate.

Coming from the UK, I had the opportunity to be working in New York City for 12 weeks, and I was determined to get help for my problem (which I now know is called Vaginismus). I was both excited and nervous when I found the very informative website www.mazewomenshealth.com, and that they had a New York City location.

My first action was to get the information pack via the website. I then read everything about Maze including available treatments and the testimonial from other patients. I knew this was ideal for me…I was going to call Maze, but due to the location I decided to just go to the office. Making the first move can often be the most difficult part, so I decided to “just do it”.

In the office I met Johanna at the front desk who was both friendly and informative. She explained the procedure for new patients to me and went over cost of treatment, as well as Maze’s credit system for those not covered by insurance. I left feeling a sense of relief.

My first appointment a week later was with Bat Sheva Marcus. She was very warm and open. I was a little nervous and was talking a lot, but she allowed me to talk and was very kind in her replies. She reassured me that I was not alone, and I was going to get all the help I needed. Talking to someone about your sex life and personal issues is nothing to be embarrassed about or to feel shameful over, and with her soft-spoken way and professional approach she made my meeting feel like I was talking to a good friend. Our conversation covered many topics and I realized she needed to get to the physiological root of my problem. I found I was a little tearful having never spoken to anyone about it before, but thankfully was able to laugh a little too.

My next meeting across the hall was with the caring, smiling Physician Assistant Tara Ford, who was there to examine me.

Tara talked me through the physical. She gave me as much time as I needed and explained Vaginismus to me and started me on my treatment of dilators…..my homework was to use the dilators every day for a week and then come back and move on to the next size.

I had a few difficult days while trying to do my daily dilators but I did not miss a day and only ever had a mild stretching sensation and never experienced any pain. I was also a little teary at times which Bat Sheva explained can happen due to regret or sadness about the loss of time. I was prescribed an estrogen cream as well for dryness.

In just over a month I was feeling more connected to my body! I was reading books on sex, male and female anatomy, and bought a large mirror so I could look at my genitals. I was getting more and more relaxed.

Each week I would talk with both Tara and Bat Sheva and learned more about various lubes and vibrators and my plan for eventually having intercourse. All in all I found my experience at Maze to be really positive, and urge other woman not to be afraid. Don’t let years go by without getting help. You owe it to yourself and your partner to enjoy a satisfying love life!