DOES IT HAVE TO BE ALL OR NOTHING ?

The human brain is inclined toward all or nothing thinking. It’s easier to have every decision be binary: True or False, A or B, Yes or No, Do or Don’t. Can there be anything in between? We are not robots, even though having to grapple with complex decisions makes life infinitely more challenging and confusing. …

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Did You Know?

Did you know that there is an app that showcases sexual radio plays? It’s called Dipsea and it. Is. Hot. From aural to oral (and everything in between). Did you know that most women can’t just turn on their desire at the drop of a hat? As a matter of fact, clinical sex therapist Rosemary …

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Vibrators and Vaginismus

Besides starting with a V, most people would probably say that vibrators and vaginismus really have nothing to do with each other. But I’m here to tell you otherwise. Usually when we think of vibrators, we think of the models that go inside a vagina and, as a result, we don’t usually think of them …

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Dilation Station

Vaginismus is defined as the involuntary spasm or contraction of the muscles that surround the vagina.  For women with this chronic condition, any kind of vaginal penetration can be painful – especially intercourse.  The key to treatment of vaginismus is what is known as “dilation.” This refers to the introduction of a series of graduated …

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Tearing During Sex

Pain with sex is an issue for many women and there are a variety of reasons why women may feel pain either during or after intercourse. However, if you’ve recently had sex that was a little “rough” or went on for a long period of time, and you have significant “burning” pain afterwards – it’s …

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Sex and recurrent UTIs

If you are someone who has been plagued by urinary tract infections (“UTIs”), you know how disrupting they can be to daily life.  Otherwise known as recurrent UTIs, these are bladder infections that occur more than three times per year.  Often, they are associated with intercourse and have commonly been referred to as the “honeymoon …

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Vaginismus and the Single Girl

Vaginismus is a condition where the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina involuntarily spasm. This makes penetration of any kind painful, difficult or seemingly impossible. There tends to be a fear component as well. Searching for the reason you have vaginismus is usually pointless. What’s not pointless is getting treatment because it’s very treatable. It …

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Why does tensing my body during sex cause pain?

When many people think of sex and intercourse, the assumption is that it should be easy.  For some women (especially those with vaginismus), nothing could be further from the truth.  Anatomy matters.  To briefly review, the pelvic floor in a woman is made up of a web of connective tissue and muscles.  These provide support …

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Painful Sex? It might be Vaginismus

A few months ago, I spent a considerable amount of time this past holiday season with my family.  After a couple of glasses of wine, several of my aunts (who are all in their mid 60’s) began asking me questions about painful sex. One of my aunts relayed her recent experience to me, of being …

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