Attachment research shows us that our need for a secure bond with our partner (or a caregiver) is essential.Continue Reading
Why did I write Sex Points?
“Why did you write this book Bat Sheva?” I get asked this question during nearly every interview or Podcast I do. And for a while I struggled for an answer. The real answer seemed so complicated: to help women, to assure women that they are normal, to give women answers to questions they didn’t even …Continue Reading
According to Wikipedia, Erotica is defined as “any literary and artistic work that deals substantively with subject matter that is erotically stimulating or sexually arousing but is not pornographic.” I feel the need to share this definition because I think that many people believe that erotica is synonymous with pornography. I have read a lot …Continue Reading
Not Tonight Dear, I’ve Got A Headache
When there’s pain with sex, anything that whispers sex can make us women cringe. It can negatively impact our openness to being touched, inhibit our desire and arousal, and erode our ability to experience sexual pleasure. Some conditions leading to painful sex include: vaginismus, vulvodynia, infection, stiff joints, scar tissue from a procedure after giving …Continue Reading
The Bible of Sex
Year after year, decade after decade, when someone asks me what my favorite book on sex is, I answer easily: The Guide To Getting It On by Paul Joannides. It’s the bible of sex, I tell people. It really has everything you will ever need to know about sex. As the years have gone by …Continue Reading
Slut-shaming. The phenomenon of girls and women being policed, judged, and denigrated because of their actual or presumed sexuality. Dress-coded. The experience of a student in middle or high school being reprimanded or punished because she is wearing clothing in violation of her school’s dress code policy. Most often, girls are dress-coded for wearing clothing …Continue Reading
Sex and the Single Girl in the Digital Age
The story of sex and the single girl is not a new one, but it also is not such an old one either. “Sex and the City” and a host of other TV shows and movies have opened the door to allow single women to want a satisfying sex life, to have a libido and …Continue Reading
Just Not Sorry!
I dream of creating an app and was tickled when I recently came across the “Just Not Sorry” one. It is free and underlines any words which undermine an email so that people send more effective messages without using the “Sorry” word when an apology isn’t called for. This app is especially meaningful to me because women …Continue Reading
Slow sex in Manhattan.
The cultivation of sexual mindfulness. One rainy Friday afternoon in mid-summer, I traveled uptown to speak with Nicole Daedone, a former professor of semantics who now devotes herself full-time to teaching what must be one of the world’s most curious mindfulness techniques. At Daedone’s OneTaste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco, and at workshops she …Continue Reading
“Come As You Are.”
I am really enjoying the book, Come As You Are, by Emily Nagoski. She is a sex educator, teacher and author. She definitely comes from the educator perspective as opposed to a therapeutic perspective which I find interesting. She spends the first part of the book explaining women’s anatomy in depth and encouraging women to …Continue Reading