I Am So Sexy- Playlist

While I do lament that the days of the mixed tape are over, I have to say Spotify and Sound Cloud have proven to be pretty great replacements. Creating your own personal “Soundtrack” or “Play List” is not only free on these sites, but a great way to think about what songs make you feel …

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The game isn’t over.

“Yikes, have you seen your vagina lately?” “You have the vagina of a ninety-year old woman.” “Can’t have intercourse? You’d make a great nun!” The above phrases were shared with me by patients and attributed to professionals they had consulted regarding their sexual dysfunction. Needless to say, the endeavors were not only futile in solving …

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So far away.

By the time many of our patients walk through our door, sex has become a sore subject in their relationships. Feeling sexually distant from a partner can manifest in various ways, and patients have shared descriptions that tend to come down to the same idea: We live in the same place and share so much, …

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YES! Hormonal contraception can cause painful intercourse.

I see many patients that come to the office complaining of painful intercourse and one of my first questions is: Are you taking birth control pills or any other form of hormonal contraception? And if so, for how long? Now, the information I’m about to provide includes all hormonal contraception like the nuvaring, patch, injections …

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Lybrido — Are we making up the problem?

The New York Times recently ran an article about female libido and the race to develop a drug (Lybrido) that would help women want sex. There are so many arguments these days about women’s libidos. There are angry therapists, frustrated drug companies, sad women and lots and lots of confusion. Some therapists argue that drug …

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The Grant Study: Happiness is love.

The Grant study is one of the longest running longitudinal studies of human development — an astonishing 75 years! In an effort to determine which factors contribute most strongly to human flourishing this study measures an astonishing range of psychological, anthropological and physical traits. Some of these traits range from personality type to IQ, drinking habits, family …

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Ask for it.

We had a patient today who told us that her sex life had improved significantly but that sometimes she just wanted more. I pushed her a bit to talk about what “more” was for her and she struggled with the answer. Finally she sighed. “I guess, like, sometimes I want more orgasms.” I looked at …

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Monogamy and desire.

Author Esther Perel wrote the book, Mating in Captivity, in 2006. This is a great book for looking at the complicated relationship between long term monogamy and ongoing desire. Perel articulately explores how often our longing for stability and comfort can annihilate passion and desire. Perel furthered her research by traveling the world and asking …

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Are you done when he’s done?

It happened again today. A patient told me she was enjoying sex with her husband but that sometimes it was a little bit frustrating. When I asked her to explain she said “Well sometimes I don’t orgasm before he does or sometime I do orgasm before we have intercourse but then he has an orgasm …

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