Better sex with Santa…

The key to enhancing sex and intimacy during the holidays is twofold. The first step is to create the intention of bringing the joy of the season into the bedroom. A little mistletoe on the top of the headboard can act as a loving reminder. The second step is to identify holiday landmines and create …

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Parenting & divorce…

All Pro NFL tough guy, Brian Urlacher is being accused of dressing his three year old son in Cinderella diapers and painting the boy’s toe nails blue, the team color of the linebacker’s Chicago Bears. The accuser is the boy’s mother, Tyna Robertson with whom Urlacher is in a child custody battle. Robertson is complaining that …

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Thanksgiving…

I am thankful for the opportunity to help people heal and to help people grow. I am thankful for the ability to help people feel normal. I am thankful for the ability to help people embrace their sexual fantasies, desires, behaviors, orientation and identity. I am thankful when I can help somebody let go of …

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Vulvodynia — What was I thinking?

I am a very active member of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT).  I’m a sex therapist with a private practice in Colorado.  Yesterday, I had a patient with a very complex case of vulvodynia so I put out the word confidentially to my colleagues at AASECT that I needed the …

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Selecting the right therapist for you…

I frequently get calls from friends and family wanting to know what they should look for when selecting a therapist. My advice: In this age of specialization you should be able to select a therapist who has expertise in your very specific area of concern. Second, studies show that up to 45% of the effectiveness …

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The new rules of marriage…

For a long and happy marriage, compromise can cause as much pain as pleasure.  Compromise by couples is a noble effort that is unfortunately often fraught with problems that can lead to resentment. The book, “The New Rules of Marriage” says it nicely. “No matter how hard you may try to take the high road, …

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More on lubes…

I agree completely with Bat Sheva. It is also good to know that water based lubes are the safest. If your lube has ingredients that sound like they might be used in an automobile engine they probably aren’t very compatable with your vagina. Even KY has an ingredient that can be problematic for certain women. …

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The impact of trauma and abuse…

A friend asked me yesterday what percentage of the clients in my sex therapy practice have been abused.  I knew the answer was “many” but I had never done the math. Out of curiosity I reviewed my cases for the past month. I saw 27 different people, most on multiple occasions of course, i.e., weekly. …

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Fun with Sex…

During the Democratic National Convention this week we did an episode for my web cast on the difference between the sex lives of democrats and republicans. I thought you might enjoy the promotional clip that is airing on You Tube.

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Sexual desire…

Matters relating to sexual desire are the number one presenting concern brought to the office of many sex therapists. I find that nearly as many women complain about not having enough sex, as do their male counterparts. In my sex therapy practice it is about 60/40 with the man being slightly more desirous. That said, …

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