As usual I got a great idea from one of my patients today. She and her husband have been struggling sexually. He’s had a hard time holding his erection. She’s having terrible pain every time they have intercourse and like so many other couples they are just plain having difficulty finding time for sex. But…a …
Continue ReadingJust do it, and other dumb ideas.
A few years back when we were giving a training at a gynecologist’s office, one of the male doctors started listening to us speak about low desire and said flippantly: “Oh please. When a patient complains of lack of desire I tell her to think of the Nike ads and ‘”Just Do It!” I had to …
Continue ReadingOsphena — Oral medication for painful intercourse.
By far the most common cause of painful intercourse in a menopausal woman is vulvar and vaginal atrophy. During menopause estrogen levels plummet and can result in severe vulvar and vaginal dryness. Some of my patients have described intercourse as feeling like someone was rubbing sandpaper in their vagina. Another patient described her vagina as …
Continue ReadingSeeing vaginismus everywhere.
My husband claims I see vaginismus everywhere. Okay. Maybe he’s right. Maybe I do…it kills me. When I see a woman who is totally avoidant of relationships I suspect she is fearful of penetration. When I see a young girl fearful of tampons, I suspect she is panicked at the idea of putting something inside. …
Continue ReadingHealing vaginismus: An inspiring story.
Tonight I met with a very special couple. I obviously can’t give too many details, but I will say that I found the woman inspirational. She has struggled with serious mental illness all her life, and was raised in an incredibly restrictive and dysfunctional family which bordered on the abusive. She lived through one very, …
Continue ReadingTreating vaginismus at home.
If you suspect you have vaginismus — severe pain (or any pain for that matter) when you have intercourse or you haven’t been able to insert anything into your vagina — the best option by far is to see a specialist who handles this particular condition. If, however, you don’t think you can, then by all …
Continue ReadingEcho: that pain in your vagina is NOT in your head!
If you search our archive, you will find a number of blogs discussing this topic. Although this subject has been touched upon, we continue to hear it from our patients each and every week, and not only are patients getting frustrated, but I am too. How can any practitioner, therapist or doctor see an ulcerated …
Continue ReadingOn lubes.
Regardless of age or sexual dysfunction, every woman should have a bottle of lube next to her bedside. Whether it is because you suffer from vaginal dryness, want to have a “quickie” and haven’t given yourself enough time to become aroused, or because you just like the feeling of having something ‘extra’ down there to …
Continue ReadingPatient to patient — A conversation about vaginismus.
Something wonderful happened today. I saw a new vaginismus patient. Typical in many ways, she is in her 30’s, pretty and petrified of romantic relationships. She avoids relationships because she believes that there is something “wrong with her.” She feels ashamed and damaged. She really doesn’t believe she can be helped. The few relationships she …
Continue ReadingResponse from a patient on the “medicalization” of female sexuality debate.
We received an unsolicited response to Dr. Marcus’ position piece on the “medicalization” of female sexuality from a patient. Her words speak for themselves. “The last time I was in the office I told Dr.Marcus that she will be remembered for her contribution to Female Sexuality the way that Margaret Sanger was with birth control. …
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