Just do it, and other dumb ideas.

A few years back when we were giving a training at a gynecologist’s office, one of the male doctors started listening to us speak about low desire and said flippantly: “Oh please. When a patient complains of lack of desire I tell her to think of the Nike ads and ‘”Just Do It!” I had to restrain myself from punching him. I exchanged glances with the nurse practitioner who works with me. We rolled our eyes (when he wasn’t looking). But really? Do you think if she could “Just Do It”, she wouldn’t already be “doing it??” Women aren’t idiots. They aren’t trying to make their partners’ miserable. They obviously can’t “Just Do It” or they would be! To be honest, I heard Dr. Oz make the same comment on the radio a few months ago. I almost crashed my car!

Here’s the reality: When a woman has slightly low desire she might be able to “Just Do It.” But when her libido has really disappeared, she has pain, she feels aversive, she doesn’t get turned on or has problems with orgasms, she will have a very difficult time dragging herself into the bedroom and pretending to enjoy herself.

And she certainly doesn’t need flippant advice to make her feel worse about herself.

What she does need is to have her concerns taken seriously.  She needs to work with a professional to figure out what is going on and why she doesn’t want to have sex, and then to try and solve those problems.

So, if you are that woman and you feel like your doctor isn’t taking you seriously or worse, giving you seriously bad advice, do yourself a favor and find a new doctor who does listen and tries to help in a productive way.

You deserve it!

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