A few weeks ago the New York Times ran an article on what turns women on. It was fascinating in many ways but one thing really resonated with me because it put into perspective things women had been saying. It suggested that often women’s desire comes from being “wanted.” That is, women get turned when …
Continue ReadingSharing your fantasies with your partner…
I often am asked by women if they “should” share their sexual fantasies with their partner. Sometimes they want to but are afraid and sometimes they feel like they “should” because their partner is asking them to. My only advice is that the decision to do so should be totally up to you alone. …
Continue ReadingShhh, I’m a man and I want more intimacy in my relationship.
Just the other day I was asked a question from a man who wanted to increase the frequency of intercourse within his relationship. He was very concerned with how he would approach this to his female partner, afraid that his request would deem him a “horn dog” or a “typical male” who is just concerned …
Continue ReadingIf all roads lead to Rome, in sex therapy all roads lead to shame…
Guilt is feeling bad for what we did, i.e., “I had unprotected sex.” Shame is feeling bad for who we are, i.e., “I’m a slut.” Shame is that inner voice that says, “I’m not good enough.” For many people shame becomes the core belief of who we are and eats away at the deepest part …
Continue ReadingIs there a problem with your sex life?
Too often we know there’s a problem with our sex life, but we are too scared to say something. I know it’s hard. You’re not comfortable talking about sex to start with. And your partner may be even more uncomfortable! Worse yet, it’s scary because you’re not sure where the conversation is going to go. …
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