Just the other day I was asked a question from a man who wanted to increase the frequency of intercourse within his relationship. He was very concerned with how he would approach this to his female partner, afraid that his request would deem him a “horn dog” or a “typical male” who is just concerned with sex. I was somewhat taken back by this notion, that even in a relationship, a request for more sex is “dirty” or in some way wrong. I felt bad for this gentleman who felt the need to justify how much he loved his partner and how it was more than just “getting off” for him. I would support him in his request for more sex whether it was to build more intimacy or just to get off more! Usually though, if a male requests more sex, a common response may be, “Of course he wants more sex, he is a man!”
Society tends to stereotype men as unemotional creatures, as sex fiends who do not enjoy the intimacy sex can bring to a relationship. Believing in this stereotype diminishes men’s experiences and only speaks of sex as a physical act, not an emotional, psychological, and spiritual one.
One common sexual dysfunction that both men and women may suffer from is a low libido or low desire. n order to avoid any activity, some will refrain from all intimate contact, such as hugging and cuddling, for fear that it will lead ultimately to intercourse. When this happens, the couple not only looses the physical act of love, but it also begins to affect the emotional, psychological and spiritual components of the relationship. Men are no exception to this, and a common complaint from them when their partners have low desire or no longer want sex, is that they miss the intimacy and affection. Sex is physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual, together making up a very important part of an individual’s sexual identity.