Finding what clicks.


As you sit here reading this webpage, odds are you have a pop-blocker setup for your internet browser. The purpose of a pop-up blocker is to ensure that as you peruse the web, you do not have to deal with a bombardment of windows that would normally appear as you stumble upon new webpages. While pop-up blockers are usually effective, at times you may choose to allow pop-ups from certain websites; otherwise you won’t be able to fully appreciate the content.

As a society that tends to tag men as the sexual gender, it’s no surprise that some women have a pop-up blocker in their minds when it comes to what turns them on. It may be due to shame, guilt, fears of being considered “dirty”, or just feeling overall uncomfortable with sexual feelings. They may have a fear that being turned on means they will definitely lose control or that their fantasies may be out of line with what they deem socially acceptable. For some, this can translate into feeling ambivalent when pondering what turns them on or considering sharing sexual desires with a partner, which can make sex feel subdued, dissatisfying, and a one-sided experience.

The good news is that if you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone you can change the settings on your sexuality pop-up blocker, but some women feel apprehensive about exploring what may pop up as a result. I encourage you to try, but try not to judge yourself for the motifs you may find; view it simply as data that can aid you in enhancing your sexual satisfaction. Remember that just because you’re turned on by something doesn’t mean you wish it would happen to you in real life. This knowledge can be a guide to increasing your sexual satisfaction, your creativity with a partner, and your own level of comfort as a sexual being.

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