So you’re sitting at lunch with your girlfriends and the topic of sex comes up. As you listen to their glorious tales (which may or may not be the real deal), you start to think about the sexual dysfunction you’re experiencing and question whether you fit the stereotype. NEWSFLASH: There is no exclusive ‘type’ of …
Continue ReadingAn ode to being aroused.
The other day a patient who was coming from very far away on the train said to us, “I was going to read 50 Shades of Grey on the way down here, but then I figured I might get turned on and couldn’t do anything about it.” Hmmmm…It occurred to me that many of my …
Continue ReadingArousal and anxiety in women.
Arousal in women is typically marked by a woman’s ability to lubricate. Physiologically, many things are happening to create a physical response. I have found in my work at the Center that that physical response is extremely important to women. Though arousal may be harder to physically detect in a woman than in a man, …
Continue ReadingHope springs — from a sex therapist’s perspective.
I saw the movie Hope Springs this weekend, and I mostly loved it. It’s hard to see a movie which describes what you do every day without wanting to yell directions…I probably felt how baseball coaches must feel when they watch Angels in the Outfield or Field of Dreams. You sit there wanting to yell …
Continue ReadingSpicing up your sex life.
The trick for keeping a long-term sexual relationship interesting is essentially giving it some attention! Think about it. The reality is that everyone needs something a bit different in their sex life and there is no “one-size fits all”. The more you actually spend time THINKING about what would spice up your sex life, the …
Continue ReadingInspiration.
I am often inspired by my patients, by their courage to face their issues, by their commitment to the process of getting better and often by their fearlessness to do things that are completely foreign and that make them feel incredibly uncomfortable. I saw a patient yesterday who did all of the above. When we …
Continue ReadingA measure of desire.
I really like the “Modern Love” column in the Sunday Style section of the New York Times. I would prefer that I didn’t have to dig my way through photos of who was thinnest and wore the shortest skirt at a recent charity event, or the new ways in which waxing makes you look shiny… …
Continue ReadingDebunking the myth — Do women peak sexually at an older age than men?
Do women peak sexually at an older age than men? I have discovered that it depends what one means by peak. Generally speaking, sexually peaking for women is defined by satisfaction as opposed to libido. For men, sexually peaking is defined by libido as opposed to satisfaction. If one defined sexually peaking purely by libido, …
Continue ReadingThinking sexy.
If you want sex to be a regular part of your life, you probably have to put a little work into it. Now don’t get all panicked that you don’t have time or energy to do one more thing. I know it’s hard enough to get to the gym regularly, shave your legs or blow …
Continue ReadingBed play.
One of the fun things about working in this field: your friends and relatives all send you clippings, cartoons; links that they think you’ll get a kick out of. This one came from my sister in law, Carol. Sex or Sleep? Article — click here. It turns out that what most of us have already figured …
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