I was perusing the December 21 & 28 edition of The New Yorker, when I came across Harry Bliss’s cartoon of two women sitting in Sofi’s Café with the caption: “Lately, I feel like the only time I have to myself is when I’m having sex with Brian.” Click here to see the cartoon. Having time to …
Continue ReadingNeed A New Year’s Resolution? Say Nice Things To Yourself!
We talk to ourselves all the time. ALL OF THE TIME! Not necessarily out loud, but the constant narrative we have going on in our heads is indeed “self-talk.” Yes, the self-talk that goes on in our heads is “talking” and can affect us as much as the words we utter out loud. It takes …
Continue ReadingPorcupine’s Dilemma
While listening to patients talk about how their desire to get close to someone is often constrained by their perceived need to “self-protect,” I couldn’t help but think of the Porcupine’s Dilemma, a parable made famous by German Philosopher, Arthur Schopenhauer. This parable describes a cold winter day where a group of porcupines huddle together …
Continue ReadingWhy Couples Therapy Needs To Talk About Sex
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard of a couple in couples therapy with a therapist who never asked about sex, let’s just say I’d have many, many dollars. Yes, therapy should begin where the client is, and if a couple goes to therapy for a specific issue supposedly unrelated to sex, …
Continue ReadingGratitude For The Holidays
In the mental health profession, we sometimes refer to this time of year as the “busy season.” The holidays are often a time of stress and contact with family members that we usually only see during the “holidays.” Many patients who I have not seen in months call and ask if I have a few …
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