Slow sex.

The technique that Nicole Daedone describes in her book, Slow Sex, The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm, sounds odd. Daedone suggests that the partner, “sits with his left leg over her belly and his right leg under her knees, where he can both see and access her genitals. Once in position, he looks at her genitals and describes in a few words what he sees. He then applies lube to his left forefinger and starts to stroke the sensitive left side of her clitoris using a very light touch. He continues to stroke for fifteen minutes, during which time both partners place their attention on the point of connection between them.” I am not sure how many women would actually be comfortable with this technique. When I first heard about her practice I was incredibly skeptical, yet when I watched the video of her speaking at the TED conference, I realized that she is after some of same things I am, mainly helping women get connected to themselves, their sexuality and their partners.

Daedone is using “orgasmic meditation” to teach women and men how to do this. She describes how many women come to her with their “hunger” to feel something more. She said that women often say, “I want to feel less tired, less stressed, more calm, more happy, more sexual or more connected to my partner sexually.” And she states that through this meditative technique she enables them to feel more of the good pleasurable feelings and less stress.

Daedone’s articles, book and workshops are successful. She has a Center in San Francisco to educate both men and women on her technique. In 2009, when she was interviewed by the New York Times, she had a communal living space. In that article she is described as a guru and it seems she has a cult-like following among the residents who practice this technique each morning whether or not they are in partnerships. Daedone is an interesting figure, and you can view her talk at TED here:

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