The trick for keeping a long-term sexual relationship interesting is essentially giving it some attention! Think about it. The reality is that everyone needs something a bit different in their sex life and there is no “one-size fits all”. The more you actually spend time THINKING about what would spice up your sex life, the more likely it will be that you will find a way to do so. So here are some things couples have used over the years — but remember, the biggest factor is actually putting time and effort into your sex life, no matter how you do it. For the most part it won’t matter much what new things you try, it’s more important that you simply try new things, talk about sex, make it a priority.
- Read erotica either individually or alone. That can get you turned on, and give you some new ideas and some great fantasies to share (or not) with your partner.
- Role play. That can be as simple as putting up a “fight” when you both know darn well you are in the mood, or as complex as including elaborate costumes and rituals the two of you develop.
- Take a shower or a bath together.
- Use new products and toys. There are wonderful candles made of soy wax that smell nice and pour warm oil. It can be very sexy! Whipped cream and chocolate sauce also work to make sex yummy.
- Buy a book showing some new positions and have fun trying to copy the couples you see. Laughter is great for sex.
- Try a “sex pillow.” They come in different shapes and sizes. The “liberator” is one and it can help when trying new positions.
And remember, if thinking of any of these things makes you a bit uncomfortable, or makes you blush, that’s A GOOD THING. A little bit of discomfort and squirming is good for your sex life. No one said sex should be as comfortable as an old shoe… then it becomes just about as exciting.