“IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!” and other myths about painful intercourse.

I’m tired of doctors telling patients “it’s all in your head,” a quick response to a problem because they do not know what to say or how to help. Although this may be true in some circumstances, shouldn’t doctors acknowledge what a patient tells you? How do you know what they are feeling, emotionally or physically?

The other day I had a woman state that she had been to numerous doctors, who told her the pain she was experiencing was “in her head.” Rather than acknowledge this issue or explore it, they dismissed her, her feelings, even her symptoms!

What does this patient do? Feeling hopeless, as if pain during intercourse is something she would have to endure the rest of her life, she goes to the internet and finds something called vaginismus, painful intercourse . She reads testimonials on various websites, and learns that other women also experience pain during intercourse and this is not something “in her head.”

These women are, in fact, able to find treatment with specialists who have decades of experience with treatments, and which also house the newest solutions to this problem. At the Medical Center for Female Sexuality, we are able to treat patients with vaginismus relatively quickly in most cases; and most patients complete their treatment and go on to have satisfying, pain-free intercourse.

I commend women on their tenacity to find an answer to this problem and to not settle for “it’s in your head,” even if it comes from a powerful influencer such as a medical doctor. We know our bodies better than anyone can because we feel what is happening. So, trust those feelings and if you feel something that doesn’t seem quite right or the way you thought it should be, search until you get your answer or until you can find someone who can answer and acknowledge and treat this condition.

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