But things weren’t always like this….

If I had a nickel every time a woman told me about her sexual situation with her husband and concluded with, “But it was never like that,” I would be a wealthy woman.

After being married for 10 or 15 years, people compare what is going on in their relationship currently with what it was like when they were 20 or 25 years old, and they are surprised that “things are just not the same”. As we age, there will be a number of changes our bodies will go through. Women may lubricate less; men may require more time in order to achieve an erection, some places on your body may not be as sensitive as they used to be, you may even prefer different positions than those that typically worked for the two of you.

But if you stop and think about this for a minute, this can be the fun part! You get to explore and experiment all over again! Communicating about these changes with your partner may be the hardest aspect of exploring new ways to enhance your sex life. What we find is, like a lot of things in life, taking the first step is hard, but then it feels good and you feel proud and you’re on a roll (think exercise, diet, etc). So raise the issue with your partner and, together, find what works for you. Adapting to these situations is essential to a healthy sex life, because they are changes we all will ultimately go through.