A female patient just told me the following story. She thought her husband of 15 years was having an affair. He hadn’t been acting suspiciously or working late. He just was less demonstrative, less loving and seemed way less interested in sex. They had always enjoyed a fun sex life. He usually initiated sex but sometimes she did as well and they would have sex about twice a week. Now he never initiated and when she did, he acted pressured or distracted. If she didn’t initiate two weeks could go by without having sex. She was confused and hurt and so, so sad.
She finally approached him and asked if he was having an affair. He was stunned and assured her that he loved her as much as always — but when she pointed out to him that their sex life had dwindled to nothing he seemed even more stunned. She was right and he somehow hadn’t noticed. He was pretty shaken up and tried after that to be more interested in their sex life, but it was a chore and it showed. We suggested that he see Dr. Werner and after a few months of gentle prodding he did go. Low and behold…he had low testosterone. (I could have told her that!)
Well, he’s been on testosterone now for 4 months and she said he’s a changed man. He is initiating and they are back to having fun sex. Even more, the teasing and the playfulness has returned to their marriage. They are both so much happier. Her face lit up as she told me this story. And once again, (I know that sometimes I sound like a broken record,) the sex has made such a big difference in so many aspects of their marriage and their lives!