A patient and I spoke today about her fantasies, or more accurately about her lack of them and how important fantasies can be in keeping up one’s interest in sex. Part of the reason she doesn’t think she can get what she wants in her fantasy is that she believes she is unattractive by common …
Continue ReadingSome aspects of women’s (hetero)sexual desire
Ninth in a series of articles loosely based on the new book A Billion Wicked Thoughts by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam. Sex and sensibility. Romance literature, according to the authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, is the most popular form of fiction in the world. It’s estimated that the total yearly revenues from the …
Continue ReadingSuffering.
In my work and in my life, I see a great deal of suffering. The thing that always touches me is how significantly someone’s suffering can be relieved when they share about it. The thing most people really want is connection, and when we suffer we need to feel connected to others even more. Several …
Continue ReadingWhen your kids are uncomfortable talking about sex.
I heard a sweet story yesterday and I thought I’d share it about a mother who has been trying to talk to her 10 year-old daughter about sex. Although she feels that her daughter listens, she had not been getting much feedback or questions. She discovered that, while her daughter feels too awkward and uncomfortable …
Continue ReadingIf Barbie had a labia.
Labia, which is the Latin term for lips, are the skin folds that the encircle the vaginal entrance, consisting of the labia majora (outer lips)and labia minora (inner lips). The coloration and size of every woman’s labia is different. And a woman’s labia changes over time. In girls, who have not yet gotten their periods, …
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