One of the most common complaints among couples is feeling like they don’t have time to bond. Between the stresses of work, home, parenting, and other responsibilities, spending quality time with each other often falls to the bottom of the list. Yes, the occasional date night or vacation can be a nice break that provides some time to reconnect, but the day-to-day ‘regular’ schedule continues to be a challenge.
When assessing quality time together, it can be helpful for couples to look at the role that technology is playing in their closeness.
Technology isn’t all bad for a relationship. You can send a quick text message during the day saying, ‘I’m thinking of you’ or just to say hello. You can e-mail a link with an article that reminded you of your partner along with a nice line or two. But on the other hand, technology can create distance, as many couples find that during the few minutes they do have together at least one of them is distracted by a computer, smartphone, or television. If time and time again your partner is listening to you with one ear while they have their eyes focused on a screen, you may start to feel resentful and at a certain point you may just avoid initiating conversations altogether.
Relationships do benefit from excitement and passion but they are sustained by the fundamental feeling that you matter to your partner. If you feel like your time together is compromised by electronic distractions, be creative in thinking of ways to bring back authentic connection into the relationship. Even if it’s only ten minutes, that’s better than nothing and can create a powerful shift in the way you work to improve your relationship.