Minus one.

When a couple faces sexual dysfunction, in one or both partners, it can be a difficult and heartbreaking journey that challenges the foundation of the relationship.

But let’s talk about what sexual dysfunction means for a woman who is single. For most women it doesn’t just feel like there is no ‘plus one’ in the picture. It feels like an ever-present ‘minus one’, a deficit, an inferiority.

For some, it may mean she avoids relationships altogether. Or she’ll justify being mistreated in relationships because she tells herself that considering her sexual issues, she should be happy that someone is willing to be with her.  Perhaps she finds herself engaging primarily in long-distance relationships, since the reliance on electronic connection can serve as a comfortable buffer that eliminates some of the sexual pressures of a relationship in-person. Maybe she keeps ending relationships and starting new ones or moving to new places, hoping maybe this time around things will be different.

Things will be different. But do things magically become different when there is untreated sexual dysfunction? Usually not. And so saga continues. The helplessness. The hopelessness. The fears of never being able to be a fully available partner, both sexually and emotionally.

Fortunately, there can be reprieve in sight, if the woman is willing to get help. It can take time to gather the courage and it may feel like a most daunting task to reach out, but it can be a vehicle through which she feels ready and available to add a healthy, meaningful relationship into her life.  

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