For a long and happy marriage, compromise can cause as much pain as pleasure. Compromise by couples is a noble effort that is unfortunately often fraught with problems that can lead to resentment. The book, “The New Rules of Marriage” says it nicely. “No matter how hard you may try to take the high road, the discrepancy between the marriage you want and the one you’ve got that gnaws away at you like a slow-growing cancer. When you back away from your real needs, when you stop telling the truth — to your partner and yourself — you shut down…when you shut down the truth, you shut down yourself — your generosity, your sexuality, and your vitality.” Although it is not always easy, I encourage couples to compromise with caution and communicate deeply about their respective needs, wants, desires and dreams.