I am a staunch feminist. I really am. So I’m having a little trouble with what I’m about to write, but I think it’s true so I’m gonna go for it anyhow.
I think women’s sexual egos are more fragile than men’s and I think women get much more easily put off and hurt when their partners rebuff their sexual advances then men do. Admittedly, I don’t have any statistics to back this up (which always bothers me.) But I do have hundreds of women in my practice and I am always struck by how hurt the women are when they approach their partners and try to initiate sex and for some reason are turned down. Now the reason they are turned down could be as benign as “I have a backache” or even “I’m exhausted honey.” Yet, somehow, many women still feel terrible, almost as even their very existence as a sexual being has been slighted.
Before I am attacked please let me clarify that not ALL women react this way and there are indeed some men who have the same reactions. However, from my non scientific, but fairly wide, sample the women seem to be the more fragile. Which leads to a few thoughts: 1. Maybe that’s why women are less likely to initiate. It hurts more when they are turned down and 2. You partners out there may want to be extremely sensitive, loving and caring when you rebuff an advance froom the woman in your life, especially if you want future ones.