Relational or psychological issues can cause or at least contribute to low sexual desire. In my practice, I’ve seen people who have been ambivalent about their relationships from day one, yet are baffled as to why they don’t want to jump into bed with their partners. I have met people who feel that they are being criticized relentlessly, or feel like they are being guilted into doing sexual things that make them uncomfortable, and then they wonder why their sexual desire has seemingly disappeared. But sometimes their spouses or partners don’t even realize it, and may actually be open to making changes or seeing things differently if only these feelings were shared. For others, there may be difficult history that they have not yet sorted through, or messages about sex after marriage or sex after becoming a parent that they don’t even realize influence their sex lives. Exploring the relational/psychological issues that may be causing or contributing to low sexual desire is not a sign that something is wrong with you or your relationship. It only means that you recognize that love and sex and relationships can be complicated and that talking about it can help.
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