Vaginismus is a condition in which the muscles in the vagina spasm involuntarily preventing vaginal penetration. This involuntary spasm can prevent women from inserting a tampon, undergoing speculum exams and having intercourse. Vaginismus is a major cause for unconsummated marriages. The cause of vaginismus is unknown, however fear, anxiety and pain can be contributing factors. …
Continue ReadingInspiration.
I am often inspired by my patients, by their courage to face their issues, by their commitment to the process of getting better and often by their fearlessness to do things that are completely foreign and that make them feel incredibly uncomfortable. I saw a patient yesterday who did all of the above. When we …
Continue ReadingGive the chubby guy a chance.
We were sitting with a patient yesterday. We love this patient. She’s funny, warm, smart and quite pretty. She, like so many of our patients, struggles mightily with her feelings of sexual inadequacy. “I don’t think I’m sexy enough.” “I don’t feel like I know enough.” “I’m just not pretty enough.” These are the kinds …
Continue ReadingDebunking the myth — Do women peak sexually at an older age than men?
Do women peak sexually at an older age than men? I have discovered that it depends what one means by peak. Generally speaking, sexually peaking for women is defined by satisfaction as opposed to libido. For men, sexually peaking is defined by libido as opposed to satisfaction. If one defined sexually peaking purely by libido, …
Continue ReadingAnother type of birth control — IUD.
Decisions about birth control can be very stressful. Although birth control pills are praised widely on television commercials, magazine and internet ads, not all women react so positively to birth control in their system. Not all women act like the actresses in the commercials. We often see women coming to us complaining about changes in …
Continue ReadingThe year in clinical sexuality, 2011.
As we get ready to leave 2011 behind, I would like as always to express my gratitude to family, friends and colleagues for your support and encouragement over the past year; and to my patients for your trust and confidence. May we all merit much happiness in 2012. Here’s my list of 2011′s most interesting …
Continue ReadingSome aspects of women’s (hetero)sexual desire
Ninth in a series of articles loosely based on the new book A Billion Wicked Thoughts by Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam. Sex and sensibility. Romance literature, according to the authors of A Billion Wicked Thoughts, is the most popular form of fiction in the world. It’s estimated that the total yearly revenues from the …
Continue ReadingMusings on where desire comes from.
I have been struggling mightily recently with a spate of Ultra-Orthodox women who are completely desireless…I mean totally, completely. Almost asexual. I told my husband the other night that I am embarrassed to admit it but I sometimes despair when I’m working with these patients. We help, but it’s such a struggle. Sometimes I feel …
Continue ReadingAsexuality.
The concept of asexuality first came to my attention a few months ago when I began to see a young woman who was struggling with the fact that she felt no desire to be sexual. As a teenager she felt ostracized from having no interest in sex of any kind. Her girlfriends were all talking …
Continue ReadingAdversity and desire.
It happens all the time. A tearful, distraught woman sits down and informs us that: Her husband is leaving her/has left her. Her husband is having/was having an affair. She believes this is due to the fact that they haven’t had sex in (you fill in the blank: 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 5 …
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