I was recently having a conversation with an OB/GYN about low sexual desire in women. We were discussing treatment options, when he said; “I tell my patients to do it the Nike way, you know, Just do it.” I didn’t know what to say. I stood there in total silence, somewhat horrified and offended. Shocked by his comment, I ignore the statement and moved on to another subject. Afterward, I was replaying this moment in my mind over and over. I was really upset with myself that I didn’t tell him how I really feel about his “Just do it” mentality. It is demeaning, and it doesn’t work. If it was that easy, don’t you think she would have figured that out herself?
Many women are embarrassed to discuss their sex lives with their health care providers, and when they finally get up enough courage to broach the subject, they are usually blown off or worse; told to get over it and “Just do it!” There are many different factors that could contribute to low libido. It could be hormonal, it could be intercourse is painful, it could be related to decreasing arousal, or inability to have orgasms, it could be relationship difficulties, it could be all of these. Many providers don’t have the time to really find out the true story, so it is much easier to say, “Just do it.” If they only knew what a disservice they are doing to their patients.
If you find yourself in this situation, where you feel you are not taken seriously, or your feelings are minimized, ask yourself, is my provider adequately addressing my needs? If not, don’t be afraid to ask for more help or seek another opinion. At Maze, we will listen and offer support.