The human brain is inclined toward all or nothing thinking. It’s easier to have every decision be binary: True or False, A or B, Yes or No, Do or Don’t. Can there be anything in between? We are not robots, even though having to grapple with complex decisions makes life infinitely more challenging and confusing. I’m glad I’m a real person-isn’t that what the story of Pinocchio is all about?
Sometimes, we are tempted to put all aspects of intimacy, pleasure, and relationships on hold until all is well. I’m talking about waiting to be the “right” body size, having our career or finances all figured out, waiting to have sex of any kind until completely overcoming vaginismus and on, and on, and on….Can we see past our binary view of life? Must our sexual options be either intercourse or nothing? There is much room between these stark and absolute choices.
At Maze Women’s Health, we help women to overcome vaginismus, and during the process, they can still begin a relationship, have pleasurable, non-intercourse sex, and even get married. You can have the life you want while not yet being able to have penetrative sex. I have seen it happen! Between the black and white, there’s a rainbow of choices.