Not a week goes by when we don’t hear a familiar refrain: “when I’m having sex, I just can’t focus. My mind goes to the grocery list, etc.”.
Now, if women were talking about aphrodisiacs such as oysters and chocolate and the like, I’d be the first to applaud. But we know that the problem here isn’t that women are fantasizing about whipped cream or what they’d like to do with it. This has to do with the nature of our busy and stressful lives. It can be hard to slow down and connect with your partner after a long day of anxiety-producing news and work demands and parenting challenges, etc. Nope – this isn’t about the call of the produce aisle. It’s about being mindful when you’re having sex.
Mindfulness is one of the hottest topics in sexual medicine right now. Why? Because it works. While the sample size is admittedly small, a Brown University study designed to measure mindfulness and its effect on arousal shows promise. It found that “compared to the control group, who did not practice mindfulness, the 44 women who took a three-month mindfulness meditation course (and who spent some time looking at racy pictures) reported feeling much more aroused, much more quickly.” A 12-week course may sound daunting, but practicing mindfulness for just a few minutes a day can actually make a difference in many cases.
If you’re looking for more on the topic, I suggest the following podcast: The Sex Ed featuring Diana Winston who heads up UCLA’s Mindful Awareness Research Center.
At Maze, we can help you tune into your sexuality while tuning out of the frozen foods section. To learn more on how to incorporate mindfulness into your sexual encounters, contact us for a free phone consultation.