We get many of our notions about how sex “should” be from the media. Remember the movie “When Harry Met Sally?” Actress, Meg Ryan, simulated an earth shattering orgasm if there ever was one. In sports we are goal oriented. In school we want our kids to get “A’s”. But sex isn’t a contest and there is no win loss record or scorekeeping. One of the best things couples can do to have better sex is to focus less on the goal and more on enjoying the experience. Orgasms are not a bad thing mind you, they’re a wonderful thing. Just don’t confuse them as the only thing.