Sometimes a couple comes in feeling like something is off. But the loss of desire on the part of one partner has been so gradual they haven’t even felt it fully. One partner feels as though “something’s changed” but they can’t exactly put their finger on it. What they describe is something like this: “We used to have great, fun sex. Now it’s gotten so I feel like I’m walking on eggshells. He (or she) needs advanced warning (or need absolute spontaneity). She (or he) needs everything to be just right. He feels pressured very easily. She feels like it’s always lurking there and she’s dancing around it, pretending he isn’t interested in sex.” The problem really does compound itself, because when the sex life is fun and spontaneous, most couples aren’t thinking about sex all the time, but when one partner is avoidant, suddenly the other thinks about it and worries about it alot more and the avoidant one pretends not to think about it and to avoid situations where it may come up. Is that you??? A conversation, a serious one, is in order!
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