How wet is too wet?

Every once in a while we have a patient who says their partner is concerned because her vagina feels too wet or too loose. They tell us that the partners are unhappy because they don’t “feel” them and complain that their penis doesn’t seem to get enough traction in their vagina.

Admittedly, we are always biased when this comes up because we have found that women are always very quick to blame themselves for every issue that arises:

“We’re not having sex. It must be my fault.”

“The sex is boring. It must be my fault.”

“I have pain. It must be my fault.”

“My vagina is too wet. It must by fault.”

What we have found is that sometimes problems that are identified are not at all the woman’s fault! So when we hear that the woman’s vagina is too lose or too wet, we are often a bit skeptical. Most vaginas are elastic and “bounce” back to a small space even after a great deal of sex and even childbirth. And we always explore whether or not the possibility exists that the partner’s penis is not as hard as it used to be. As men get older their erections are often no longer “hard as rock” like when they were 25, and it is very possible that a softer penis will have less traction in the partner’s vagina. It’s more common than you think and can explain a vagina which is “too loose” in a very different way.

However, last week we saw a patient who made this very complaint. After ascertaining that this has always been a problem and that his erections really did seem to be as firm as ever, we made the following suggestion: have him take his penis out and wipe it off. If it still feels too wet and slippery, do it again. And again, if need be. It can be that simple! The bottom line is that in some unusual circumstances a vagina can get too wet. And sometimes the secretion can be too slippery. And if that’s the case, the penis is not going to feel like it’s rubbing against anything. And that’s not a good thing – for either of you. So you need to wipe off the wetness… and the easiest way to do it is by wiping off the penis.

Make sure you use a soft cloth or tissue and then…have him go right back in.

Sometimes low tech is the easiest way to solve a problem!

However, if you do have a more complicated issue, we are here to help. Contact us for a free phone consultation or read more about sex therapy options

If your partner is having weaker erections, our team of men’s sexual health experts can help – contact us.

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