In my practice at the Medical Center for Female Sexuality, we see many patients with questions about desire. What do you do when there is an inequity between how much you desire sex and how much your partner does? How do you get your desire level back to what it was when you first met? What if you don’t feel any desire at all? Maybe problems in your relationship are causing problems in the bedroom?
My belief is that you have to look at all aspects of an individual to uncover what is really going on. At the Center we always do a medical exam, look into hormone levels and also talk through any psychological or emotional issues that may be affecting desire. We can help you uncover what is troubling you and address any hormonal imbalances with appropriate treatment. In each case, we find creative solutions to make help your desire become more compatible with your partner’s.
A great book on understanding desire is called, Reclaiming Desire, 4 Keys to Finding Your Libido, by Andrew Goldstein M.D. and Marianne Brandon, PhD. In this book they outline four arenas that affect desire: physical health, emotional health, intellectual fulfillment, and spiritual beliefs and needs.
My philosophy is also that we must look at every individual holistically. Many aspects of one’s life affect desire for sexuality and intimacy. By looking at all aspects of our patients we are able to more completely discover what might be getting between them and the sex life they desire.