[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi mroberts307 – thank you for reaching out with this question! Yes, as we move between the bigger dilator sizes in the set, the step up becomes increasingly challenging. You are definitely not alone in this! One thing I would suggest, is trying to sleep with the blue dilator inside a few nights each week. This is what we have our patients do after the Botox procedure, and it can be helpful to help maintain the muscles in an open position. I would also want to make sure that you are doing something to ensure the health of the vulva/vaginal vestibule. The tissues there need to really stretch with that purple dilator! Some women do well by massaging coconut oil into the area a few times per day. Hyaluronic acid suppositories that you can buy OTC may also be helpful. Some other women need to step it up to a local estrogen cream (a prescription necessary) to really get those tissues stretchy and healthier. Keep at it, you are almost there!

Jackie Giannelli FNP-BC

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Maryro – first of all, let me congratulate you on getting a diagnosis, treatment and now being ready to try intercourse. That is a big achievement, and you should be proud! First intercourse after prolonged periods of abstinence can be intimidating, but there are a few tips that we usually give to our patients:
1) Dilate prior to intercourse, ideally with a dilator that is one size larger than your partner. That will help ensure your muscles are relaxed and ready for prime time!
2) Lube lube lube. You can’t use too much.
3) Your partner is probably scared to hurt you, and it is not uncommon for the man to lose his erection, or have trouble getting one (bc he is anxious, not because you are doing anything wrong!). Depending on age and circumstance, we sometimes recommend he consider a drug for ED such as sildenafil to help prevent this. This is a conversation he can have with doctor prior to first intercourse.
4) The first time might feel “mechanical” or “technical”. This is normal as you get used to intercourse again. And it will get better with time and practice!

I hope that helps, Maryro. Keep us posted on how it goes!

Jackie Giannelli FNP

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Thanks so much for this important reminder, Jennifer! I always counsel my patients that while Western medicine and treatments are wonderful – often they only get us “part of the way”. Taking the time to look within and ground the mind WITH the body is the key to successful and sustainable health changes!

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Tiny196,

Thank you for your post – I’m sorry we are just responding now! You are right, its sometimes very difficult to distinguish between vaginismus and vulvodynia. They are often caught up in the what came first “chicken and egg” scenario. However, it sounds like you have done your research and are on the right path. My best advice would be to find a pelvic pain specialist to examine you. A well trained clinician will be able to distinguish which condition is primary and which may happening as a result of the other. The treatment will be tailored accordingly, so its so important to have the right working diagnosis. Best of luck, and let us know if we can be of assistance here at Maze!

Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Theresa 123,

I’m sorry that your sister is having pelvic pain! I would highly recommend that she start by seeing her primary care and/or gynecologist before seeking care from a chiropractor. There are SO many other things that can cause back and/or generalized pelvic pain that need to be evaluated and ruled out (think kidney stones, UTI for example). If it is an “alignment” issue, then possibly a chiropractor or physical therapist could help. However, it’s important to first make sure that a new medical problem is evaluated by a medical professional to start, so that the underlying cause can be properly identified and treated. I hope that helps.
Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi MiraCulix – welcome to our forum, we are so happy that you are here! Even just by sharing your story, you have taken the first step to beating vaginismus. That is something to be proud of.

There is a wealth of information here on this forum – everything from tips on dilating, to getting started with dilating, information about our Botox procedure and also about our virtual dilation program (which is something you may be interested in). I recommend you start to peruse the posts, and if there are any questions you have don’t hesitate to reach out. We are a welcoming community here, and I know you will feel right at home:)

Jackie Giannelli FNP-BC

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Motivated Mumma! Great question – yes you may have been too deep inside the vaginal canal with the dilator. When it bumps the cervix, the cervix responds by cramping up and that can feel just like your period. Sometimes it can persist, but should be better within 24 hours. It’s not dangerous – just annoying!

Sometimes when we dilate and are nervous, we push the dilator in too far because we are so excited to have gotten it past the muscles. If that happens again, just pull back an inch or two and you should be all good. I also recommend using a mirror when you dilate. At least 1/3rd of the dilator should still be seen outside the body when you are past the muscles. Does that make sense?

Jackie Giannelli FNP-BC

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Allectus18 – thanks for reaching out here on this forum! I’m glad to hear that you are taking control of your vaginismus and it sounds like you have been making great progress. A few thoughts about your pain:

1) Yes it is sometimes normal to have more pain right around the time before your period. All of your reproductive hormones are low at this time, and it can be more painful to dilate.
2) Sometimes, as we increase in dilator size it can become even more challenging to insert them. I’d make sure you are using plenty of lubricant, and perhaps try again in a few days.
3) If the pain and “soreness” persist (especially if you are sore all the time), or you start having abnormal discharge, I would get checked out to make sure you haven’t developed any kind of vaginal infection.
4) We have a virtual dilation coaching program here at Maze. If you find that you remain stuck on this next size dilator, we are available virtually to provide education, guidance, instruction and even suggest therapies that might be useful. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you think this is something you might benefit from.

You can do it!
Jackie Giannelli FNP-BC

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi recessivegenequeen – I loved watching you on Instagram live last night with Bat Sheva! Thank you for being so brave and honest and sharing your inspiring story! I know it will help so many women who are wondering if the Botox procedure is right for them. Such a great example of women lifting each other up. Kudos to you!
Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Ashly_1996!

Welcome to our forum. You will find SO much helpful content here, along with stories and experiences from others who are all working to overcome vaginismus. I highly recommend perusing the different threads so you can gain some valuable advice and insight from others. What you will find is that you are most certainly NOT alone in this!

You are correct, dilation is super vital in the treatment of this condition. A home dilation program is a great place to start, and if you need more information on that please do reach out to us! We are here to help and support you. Also, we are now conducting a virtual dilation coaching program! Stay in touch, and again – welcome!

Jackie Giannelli

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Graham – welcome to our forum. Thank you for sharing your story. It can certainly feel very frustrating, especially for partners of women with vaginismus. You are right – intercourse is not the only part of intimacy, but can still be an important aspect of a relationship. I encourage you to read through the posts on this forum, and perhaps see if you wife would like to do the same. Just normalizing the experience for her can be very powerful. As you will see, dilation is the key treating vaginismus, and it is something we are experts on here at Maze. We are also now offering virtual consultations and distance dilation coaching. Don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions!
Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Sunnywilson09 – you are most certainly not alone! Vaginismus is an incredibly common condition, and it is very treatable! Please don’t hesitate to share your concerns here on this forum. It is a place to learn, heal and grow. The nurse practitioners and therapists are also happy to address your personal questions, if you have any! Feel free to reach out, anytime.
All the best,
Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Ericacire – welcome to our forum! Yes, if you cannot insert more than one finger without pain, it is likely vaginismus. Have you ever been able to tolerate a speculum exam with your gynecologist? I would start by reading through the posts on this forum, to better understand others’ experiences with vaginismus and see if it matches yours. I would also recommend purchasing a dilator set and starting to see what sizes you are able to insert – if any. We like the Syracuse medical dilators because they come in many sizes – starting even smaller than a tampon.
There is a ton of help right here in this community, and it is a safe and open place to seek and share information. Please keep us posted on how you are doing, and let us know how we can help.
Best,
Jackie

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Mel – are you in the UK? I know many of the providers here in the US are doing telemedicine, and its now very easy to get a prescription for generic estrace (0.01% estradiol) cream. If not, I’d try using organic coconut oil, massaged into the area of concern several times daily. You could also look into a hyaluronic acid suppository such as Revaree (dont’ know if they will ship to UK but worth an ask).

Revaree

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Also Maggieb123 – some exciting news! We are going to be starting a new vaginal dilation home coaching program here at Maze! It will be a telehealth based program, so we can help reach women with vaginismus from all over the world who need some guidance with vaginal dilation. Stay tuned, and let us know if you would be interested!

Jackie

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