I think I have vaginismus

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    I was only able to partially insert a tampon once and it was slightly painful. I tried a few times for years before I got it in. I can’t insert more than one finger, and it hurts to try. I haven’t tried to have sex yet but I wasn’t able to insert a dildo. I’m scared I won’t be able to have sex. I also seen somewhere that it can cause infertility problems is that true? I’m going see if I can get diagnosed to know for sure. I’m 25 I felt like something was wrong down there for a while but assumed it would stretch out when I had sex. I just learned about vaginismus last week.


    Hi Ericacire – welcome to our forum! Yes, if you cannot insert more than one finger without pain, it is likely vaginismus. Have you ever been able to tolerate a speculum exam with your gynecologist? I would start by reading through the posts on this forum, to better understand others’ experiences with vaginismus and see if it matches yours. I would also recommend purchasing a dilator set and starting to see what sizes you are able to insert – if any. We like the Syracuse medical dilators because they come in many sizes – starting even smaller than a tampon.
    There is a ton of help right here in this community, and it is a safe and open place to seek and share information. Please keep us posted on how you are doing, and let us know how we can help.


    Thank you for replying. I’ve never been to the gynecologist before so I’m not sure. I’ll definitely read more posts on this forum. Thank you for the recommendation. I’ll definitely keep y’all posted.


    Hi Ericacire,

    Just wanted to say I know exactly how you feel, as I realized what I had was vaginismus in my early twenties and seeked treatment at Maze pretty soon after. I wish I had known what it was earlier, but I just thought there was something very wrong with me or that I needed to attempt sex more times for it to work!

    I second Jackie’s suggestion to browse this forum, and to buy the Syracuse medical dilators. I know firsthand that vaginismus is a lonely lonely thing to go through! It’s always a good idea to look through success stories on this forum to show you that there were so many of us in your shoes that were able to overcome vaginismus. I bought a different brand of dilators on my own but was having trouble using them, so I ended up seeking help at Maze where they showed me how to use them so I could practice on my own at home.

    Like Jackie said, I suggest buying dilators to see if you can use them on your own. Using tons of lube (I used coconut oil) and going very very slowly and not pushing yourself too much, the smallest one will be easier to put in than a tampon.

    I do have a lot of advice for dilating – for me, it was very important to NOT GIVE UP. It might not be easy but with time and determination you can do it! Always remind yourself, vaginismus is SO TREATABLE, it CAN BE FIXED! Don’t stick to any timeline, listen to your body. I also loved watching Netflix when dilating as a nice distraction! Buying a vibrator to make it more enjoyable could also help once you are able to use them.

    In my opinion the biggest challenge was when I didn’t exactly know how to use the dilators on my own (and/or didn’t have the confidence to), but once I was able to put in the smallest one by myself, the rest of my vaginismus “journey” went much smoother (with lots of small successes, like being able to use tampons!). If you’re unable to do treatment on your own, I do suggest finding a pelvic floor therapist that can help you use them.

    Keep us updated and you’ve come to the right place for advice – so many other knowledgeable people are on this forum who would love to help and encourage you 🙂


    Hi Ericacire – a lot of great advice here already, but as someone who used to have vaginismus and struggled with it for many years I want to second what Sks823 said about dilating – the easiest way to see success with dilating is to do it every day! Even if it’s just for a few minutes and even if you sometimes find yourself moving back to a smaller size, teaching your body consistency and continuing to stretch the muscles will help you get more comfortable with insertion. As Sks823 says it can be hard to get started with using them, but also the Maze Clinic has started doing telehealth appointments and can help advise on dilator insertion even during quarantine!

    Also, to my knowledge vaginismus doesn’t cause permanent infertility – but for obvious reasons it’s hard to get pregnant when you can’t have intercourse.

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