[klove]

Absolutely! Your therapist would just send a treatment plan to your insurance for medical necessity. I hope you will go as I know it will help!

[klove]

Hi Jessbee, Thank you! I still have alot to do in order to be completely successful and pain free. But, I am in the right direction. I actually regret not going to pelvic floor therapy sooner! My physical therapist is amazing and I have gained so much confidence and feel happier. I was very afraid of going due to the issue at hand and someone else will be touching me. They are work on your muscles and also the most important thing I have learned, once she stayed at the entrance and I let her in, it got much easier. She didnt force her way in. She let me allow her in instead of the other way around. Ever since then, it has been so much easier and better. Now, that he was able to get in, we are now working on the other muscles that cause pain during intercourse. I hope you will consider it!

[klove]

I shared your link and my husband also donated $25. 🙂

[klove]

Thank you for the prayers and love. As it wasn’t hard already, I was actually admitted into the hospital for a week and still recovering from colitis which is an extremely bad stomach infection. I am going through a prep so I can have my colonoscopy tomorrow. I feel like crap keeps coming at me and I am losing my balance. I told my husband I have forgiven him. But it still hurts. I have started dilated on a daily basis, then of course I get sick and end up in the hospital! I am at the end of my rope. I feel like it is not meant to be for me to beat this. But somehow I keep standing back up. Not sure how much more I can take before giving up. I can’t exactly get over what he did and always wondering if he is being faithful. I thought God only gives you what you can handle??

[klove]

Hi Louisa,
I was interested in knowing how you are doing with your dilation. I hope all is well and I know how you feel. I am 39 days post procedure and still have pain when dilating and even attempted intercourse twice. Pain was so powerful I wanted to pass out. I am trying to be positive, but my fear of not being successful is high.

[klove]

I do not think putting it in the back of your mind is a good idea. You are only harming yourself in the long run. I had the botox procedure 39 days ago and I am still struggling. But, I know if I work hard, it will eventually pay off. I did try other avenues but honestly the best option was this procedure. It was costly, but well worth it. Dr. Pacik understands the condition 100% and there is no judgment. The best advice I can give you is to not give up and do not put it in the back of your mind. When you finally decide to hit the issue head on, it will be harder if you wait. You deserve to feel like a complete woman, to be able to go to the OB GYN without anxiety or pain and to have an intimate relationship. Please do not push it to the back of your mind, that will not help and you are only avoiding the issue. We are hear to listen and we of course know what you are going through.

[klove]

Thank you everyone for the responses. It is so helpful knowing I have an amazing support system on this forum. I feel everything happens for a reason. So, that being said, I know he is human and can make mistakes. I also know we have been together for 8 years and have not had intercourse yet. So, I am trying my hardest to keep an open mind. I give people 1 chance after their mistake, if they do it again, I am not able to tolerate it. He realizes this and saw how much it hurt me. He also stated it was hard to stay in the moment since it was not me and he had to literally think of me while doing the acts. He realized how wrong he was and I am trying to give him a chance. I do not believe in divorce unless absolute necessary due to domestic violence or chronic cheating, etc.

That being said, Vaginismus makes it that much more difficult to deal with. I am now constantly comparing myself to her as she does not need to dilate prior to intercourse. I am now embarrassed to dilate in front of him even when he tells me he never compared me and I am automatically better. But the mind is very powerful.

I know I am a strong person by going through past experiences and falling down but getting right back up. So, I feel if I become positive, then I can get through this. Minus this situation, my husband has been incredible and so supportive. He had a weak few moments for a week and then came back to reality. I hope that I am not being too naïve. Thank you for the support. It helps so much when I can come on here and vent and I know all of you know how I feel versus a woman that does not have the big V.

[klove]

Yes, the burning sensation is because your stretching a muscle that hasn’t been touched ever. I know Dr. Pacik went over that in our counseling session. Also, I regressed few times and I think the hardest part of my journey is my emotional well being. Since we have been home, I have been more emotional, cranky, and very moody. I believe it is because part of me does not want this to be successful. I cant explain on how I made this observation. But, this has been the hardest 18 days of my life since I am 18 days post procedure. I started to give up a couple of times, but I kept at it. No matter what I was feeling, I dilated. I was cramping really bad for a few days and I think that was because my inside was clinching the whole time. Which a fellow forum member brought that up. 🙂

There has been a lot of pain and soreness. But, you just have to remind yourself, that there will be day when this is over and that you can fight any obstacle. At this point in time, having a baby does not scare me anymore! I just went through the most horrific thing ever according to my mind.

Today, I was able to put the #6 glass in for a few seconds, but I ended up putting a vibrator in which was bigger and more comfortable. So, I feel I successfully made it to my next goal. 🙂 I have a target date for my next challenge for next Saturday to have intercourse. I want it to be special and not just here lets try it. I want it to be successful, which might include a drink on the side lol.

To sit here and write I got a vibrator completely in is surreal to say the least. I don’t know whether to cry or laugh right now. I feel for everyone on this forum and I know without your support it would have been more difficult to be where I am today. 🙂

Katie

[klove]

I am doing better. I was able to keep #5 in longer. I was not able to keep #6 in longer than 5 seconds, due to the severe pain. However, we ended up putting in my vibrator which is bigger and more comfortable. So, I am making progress.

Eros, I do not feel that I was giving myself too much stress. I have a horrible background with sexual abuse, etc and to even think of putting something in me still scares me. I am very nervous, but I am getting there. I don’t think the girls are stressing themselves out….. I think it has more to do with the anxiety and fear that is impossible to avoid to a point. Eventually, it can disappear.

[klove]

Yes, I have the same issue. It is probably because your body is still fighting and resisting. I know mine is!

[klove]

I was diagnosed with Ovarian cysts awhile ago when they did an ultrasound and then attempted to do a transvaginal ultrasound. Do you think that could be the culprit if this does not work?

[klove]

Thank you Allie! You make me feel better. I will pay attention to how I react tonight when I am dilating. I hope it works because these cramps are overwhelming and make me nauseas. UHHH I can not wait until I reach the next stage!

[klove]

Hi Allie,

Thank you so much for the response. I really appreciate it. I try to be aware of how my body is reacting while I am dilating. Did you also have pain inside while you had the dilator in? I could possibly be clinching up, but it is hard to tell. I hope that is all it is! 🙂

Thank you for the Congrats! I hope I am able to accept intercourse like all you veterans! My husband tried touching me and I automatically went into exorcism mode which is what I like to call it since my body kind of goes into a weird position with my body leaned up and my head bent backwards lol. It feels like I have no control and someone just took control! I am getting a little better, but I tend to be hard on myself sometimes.

[klove]

Hi Becca,

Sorry I am just seeing your post now. I did have my procedure on Monday and I am now on 5th day post procedure. I have to say that this might have been the worst thing I have ever been scare of. However, Dr. Pacik was amazing and his staff was so supportive. I felt like I was going to pass out a few times and wanted to throw up when I got there. But, I have the best coach a woman can have. My husband has been amazing and I get emotional every time I think about it. I was starting to get discouraged since I was not able to put the dilator in myself. But last night I was able to insert the #3 silicone dilator all by myself! I am keeping a positive outlook and staying brave.

Thank you for everyone’s support!

[klove]

Hi Jessbess,

I wore Capri jeans with underwear and boy shorts. That’s all you should need.

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