[Olivia]

Kim!!!
I am very late to respond to your post, I have not been on the forum in a longggg time. Congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you and Jason!!

[Olivia]

Hi ladies!

It is so great to hear from you, I think of both of you often and am glad to hear you are both doing well! I have been dilating daily for a few hours and have been surprised by how quickly the time goes by especially when I do things around the house or watch a show. The other day I had my dilator in and went to go see the new Hunger Games Catching Fire movie!

A couple days ago we were finally able to have successful intercourse. It was really special and I just feel really lucky. There was a little bit of pain the first time but I honestly believe it is because I did not dilate long enough before, because it was the stretching type of pain like putting in a dilator. The second time we had intercourse was not painful and I realized how long I needed to dilate and with which dilators.

I struggled with the glass dilator #5 a few days before and felt a lot of pain when I first tried it. I became worried that this was not a good sign. I was having so much trouble with the glass and it was supposed to be more comfortable….I also worried about the size. If I couldn’t get the #5 in, how would I progress to #6 and then intercourse? So I decided to just give myself a break and relax and try the pink silicone #5 to dilate instead and did not feel the same amount of pain at all. Since we have had intercourse the glass dilator has not given me any issues either with pain or with falling out and I finally understand what people mean when they say it is way more comfortable than the other dilators, especially because it isn’t sticking out.

I don’t think I ever properly thanked Dr. Pacik but I am so grateful and had such a great time meeting him and everyone in the office. HUGE THANK YOU DR. PACIK!!!! You have truly changed so many lives!!

I always loved Dr. Pacik’s way of speaking to patients and I really knew from those initial emails and phone calls years ago that he is not only experienced, but also a doctor who truly cares about you. I have considered him my doctor for years-long before he treated me-because he is someone that I trust.

Thank you to everyone on the forum as well for all of your encouraging stories, tips, posts, thoughts. It has been fun to read the posts over the years before my procedure and fun for me to post lately as well.

Kim & Nicole- Thank you for being so open and sharing your stories both after our procedure and now on this forum. I can’t wait to hear more about what you are up to and am so happy for all of us to continue on this intriguing adventure!

[Olivia]

Hello!

We went to 900 degrees for pizza and it was delicious!!!

http://www.900degrees.com/our-menu/signature-pizzas-entrees.html

[Olivia]

Hi Heather,
I agree, the title is a little annoying but I am glad when I see shows talk about vaginismus or pain with sex. I was watching a show on E! last night called Total Divas and one of the girls on the show went to go see a gynecologist because she was experiencing a lot of pain with intercourse. Her friend on the show told her to “just suck it up”. I felt so bad for her! I have not been able to find anything else on the internet about whether she was able to solve her issue but I was glad to at least see it on a show. I know we previously talked about the Bethenny show and sending notes revealing our stories. On her website I found a link to a segment that is titled “are you keeping a secret and want to come clean?” I found this to be an interesting title but also sad how vaginismus is such a source of shame and is such a secret. Below is the link:
http://www.bethenny.com/be-on-the-show/1189/

I have recently been debating if/how/when I am going to tell my closest friends and family or whether I will wait until I have successfully achieved intercourse…

[Olivia]

Hi Molly!
I loved your post and when you said, “It is a privilege to be struggling with dilation. I am so happy to be alive and in the company of my friends who are coupled off (married, etc.) as I now believe and feel like that is in the realm of possibility for me”. It is amazing the progress each of us have already made and it is an interesting thing to be annoyed or frustrated with/when dilating when not that long ago I was not even able to insert a q-tip. You are right, intercourse will happen and it will be amazing. I look forward to hearing more about your dilating. 🙂

[Olivia]

Hi Kim, I am sorry to hear about the pain you are experiencing, but dilating with #2 is better than not dilating at all, and right now we are still stretching the muscles, having them get used to dilation, a few days ago we weren’t able to insert anything, we have already come pretty far and it is only day nine post procedure. I don’t know if the botox has kicked in yet. I have been dilating with #3 mostly. Just recently I had #3 in for over 3 hours before I put in #4 and that was in for four. Most days I don’t have that much time haha. #4 went in easier then 3 did and I attributed that to having 3 in for so long before.
Right now I am just trying to get into the routine of dilating and trying not to focus too much on the dilator sizes. I have noticed though with #3 just like it is mentioned on the dilating forums that the dilator hits a point when it is painful and difficult to get in, once past that point it slides in, then after that it hurts for awhile after it is in. I just have to find a comfortable way to sit or lay after that.
You are doing so well, try not to get discouraged or embarrassed, you have already come so far!! I am so proud of you and look forward to reading your posts. 🙂

[Olivia]

I agree Nicole, it was great meeting everyone and this procedure has been life changing already by showing all of us that there is an end to this condition in the very near future!!! You are doing so great!!!

Thank you Dr. Pacik, I will remember it fondly as well. 🙂

[Olivia]

Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you as well! You are well on your way to overcoming this! I loved reading your post and have been wondering how you have felt after the procedure. I agree, many women with vaginismus suffer in silence and never talk to anyone about what we are going through. Usually our significant others are the only ones who know and they do not have anyone else to talk to about how they are feeling either. I am glad you got the procedure and have made a life long friend. I am sorry to hear about your car, but glad the procedure went well.

[Olivia]

Hi Nicole! Yay!! We are all on here. Woooo. I agree, baby steps, it is amazing we have any dilators in when just 10 days I could not insert a q-tip. It is huge progress!! I have been thinking of you both as well, we are all on this great new journey! 🙂 You are doing well and will be progressing up to the different sizes before you know it.

[Olivia]

Thank you for posting the videos to the songs and for starting up this fun playlist Heather!!

[Olivia]

Janet, Kim, Heather, Dr. Pacik- thank you all for your posts and your encouraging words!! The trip to Manchester was lovely and memorable for so many reasons, I truly enjoyed the days we spent with Dr. Pacik and the entire team, meeting ladies like myself was encouraging as well. I am so excited about this new chapter of our lives and am so glad we made the trip out :). We did end up getting to drive out to the coast like Dr. Pacik suggested and it was truly beautiful and fun and was a great way to end our trip. Thank you all so so much!!

[Olivia]

Hello!

Kim- I am excited to keep up with your progress and am sure dilating is going well for you. For me I think I will be able to better start a routine and have a real schedule down and will be able to progress through the dilators in that way. I try to remind myself what these posts say to dilate and not focus too much on what size dilator I am on and to remember that just dilating is important.

Heather- thank you for your encouraging words once again. This forum and these posts have been real signs of encouragement and support 🙂

[Olivia]

Hello!! I am excited for you and just know you are in the thoughts and prayers of everyone on this forum!! You will overcome vaginismus and will be dilating before you know it!! 🙂

[Olivia]

Thank you Dr. Pacik for everything!! Thank you everyone for your kind words of encouragement!!!

Today was day 2 post procedure and today I felt much more sore than I have the last two days. It made dilating today a bit more difficult. I am also the kind of person who constantly wants to change or shower when on my period, so I try and be very careful when inserting the dilator with the lube so that there is enough to make the dilator easy to slide in, but also not too much where I am getting it everywhere. There is a sort of interesting routine when trying to insert this dilator and make sure it aligns properly on a pad and doesn’t leave lube all over my underwear and sheets. I have to be careful when I remove the dilator as well as there is still some blood and like I mentioned before some soreness. I am confident that this will get easier with time and I will develop a better routine.

[Olivia]

Kim!!! I am so proud of you and am so happy that we have both reached this exciting new point in our lives. I think Roar will forever be a song to remind of us of this new exciting time… 🙂
Hearing your story inspired me because you have had so many struggles over the years. Thank you for sharing! I agree, I wish we had had more time together to share 1:1. 🙂

[Author]

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