[jessbee]

I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one suffering through this. I just wish I was able to enjoy intercourse like everyone else does! I get very upset each time because I just think what did I do to deserve this?

[jessbee]

klove,

I am happy to hear that this type of therapy has helped you. I have emailed my obgyn to let her know I am interested in the therapist she referred me to earlier. Does your insurance cover it?

[jessbee]

we stayed at the Radisson with the discouted rate. loved the HUGE rooms and had a good restaurant in there…good luck! 🙂

[jessbee]

klove, what exactly do they do when you have pelvic floor therapy? My ob/gyn had suggested this but I wasn’t too motivated to find out whether it works or not. Congratulations, by the way, on all your acheivements! 🙂

[jessbee]

I love visiting this forum because it is a reminder of how far I have traveled on this journey. It will be one year in August that I had my procedure done, and what milestones I’ve been able to reach in one year! The first milestone is waking up with a huge dilator inside of you and realizing “wow, I’m really not broken afterall!” That is the absolute best feeling because you’ve spent half of your life wondering if you were a normal functioning woman.

To all those ladies that are having these procedures done in the next couple of weeks, you all are warriors, and Dr. Pacik is your fierce leader guiding you to victory! There is no doubt that this procedure will be successful for you too. Dr. Pacik is God sent..he knows exactly what is he doing, and when you meet him and his staff all of your anxiety and worries will go away. He is really that good. He has this gift, that when he talks to you and looks in your eyes, you know in your heart this man is genuine. He and his staff will do everything in their power to make your experience as pleasant and successful as possible.

It will take a lot of hard work and effort on your part to continue being successful and ultimately acheive penetration. There will be days when you don’t want to sleep in your dilator or ever see a dilator again for that matter. But that is okay, you just continue on the next day. If you have a set back, you just start over again. I speak from experience. There was a time when I didn’t dilate for weeks at a time when I had to have surgery for other reasons. After a month of no dilation, getting in a #4 burned and hurt, and it scared me for a bit. I thought “oh no!! My vaginismus is back!”, but I calmed down and relaxed and tried it again. Inserting it made me want to cry, but after 30 minutes that pain was gone and I was able to remove it and insert it back in with no problems at all. Dr. Pacik has said that it rare that he has had to do the procedure on someone more than once. You just have to have faith in yourself that you can do this, but also do your part!

Other milestones this year: able to insert a tampon with no problem! being able to have a pelvic exam! a pap smear! an endovaginal ultrasound! penetration! I hope that one day I will be able to have pleasurable intercourse, but that is still a work in progress. I am so grateful for all I have been able to acheive with this simple, virtually painless procedure! I hope to add motherhood to this list of milestones soon, but we’ll leave it in God’s hands.

We loved the Boston/NH area sooooooo much last year that we are going back again this summer. This time we’re also fitting in Maine and Vermont as well. Heather34, thanks so much for that suggestion above! We will have a rental car so we plan to be driving all over Maine…do you have any other suggestions on what to see/do in Maine or Vermont? We are so excited to go back. Loved everything about that area! So different from the land we call Texas..haha

[jessbee]

I always feel extra sensitive about a week and a half before my menstrual period begins. During that time I dilate less and that is okay. It won’t cause a major set back, and if it does you can always start small and work your way up. I also find that when i feel that burning sensation I do the kegal exercises as I am slowly inserting the dilator. That was a suggestion of Dr. Pacik and it really does help alot. If you clench your muscles and then slowly push in the dilator as you release you can feel it ease in with less discomfort. After a while the burning sensation lessens and it goes away.

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Kimberly,

I suffer from extreme anxiety, and also suffered from level 5 vaginismus. Just like you I was never able to have penetration of any sort. If I could get through this with no problem, so can you. Dr. Pacik does a quick examination by inserting a finger so that he can see if the muscle spasms are simply in the vaginal entrance or if there are more spasms further in. This was performed right before I went under anesthesia. Dr. Pacik is very gentle, and he will never do anything to hurt you. That quick exam was about two minutes and was very minor discomfort. Right after that happens you are put under, and then you wake up with this big dilator in you….and all you can think of is WOW! 🙂 you have nothing to worry about

[jessbee]

Kate, after the procedure you are going to love using tampons! You might just look forward to menstruating just because being able to insert them and wear them just like every other women is such a great little victory! This is my 2nd time after procedure that i’ve been excited about menstruating and not having to worry about a gross, soggy, bloody, smelly pad is the best! 🙂

[jessbee]

Thanks everyone for the well wishes! Over a month post procedure and improving each day! We have not attempted intercourse just yet but I will keep you up to date! Kate, I am so glad that my story has helped you…you just need to mentally prepare yourself and just have a positive mindset that everything will be okay. Honestly, I think I’ve had scarier trips to the dentist than this procedure…easy peasy lemon squeezy as my 2nd graders say 😉 You will see!

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thank you ladies! yes, it is quite a relief…i was a little nervous with a little fear that I would have trouble or hit that “wall” again. but i had nothing to worry about, smooth sailing 😉

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Viv, show your mom the success stories of the women in this forum. They are all true, none of it is fictional or made up. These are real women who suffered in silence, and in the dark for many, many years, myself included. Many are healed, and many are on the road to healing (which is where I am at). Don’t wait to make an appointment for your procedure. do it now! I just had my procedure a week and a half ago, and although its been less than 2 weeks..my progress has been awesome, and what was once impossible is now, slowly, becoming POSSIBLE. You can’t do it entirely on your own, your need the help of Dr. Pacik, and the rest is up to you ! Good luck…I applaud your courage. If your mom is still not on board, you do what you feel is best for you. You are an adult, and you know your body better than anyone else.

[jessbee]

you ladies are right. vaginismus takes out all the fun sex SHOULD be. After suffering from vaginismus and avoiding intimacy and sex, it is really hard to get back the feelings of excitement, arousal,and sensuality. Its kind of like you just give up. After the procedure, when you start realizing that maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel…you still feel void of any kind of sexual feeling. As someone stated above, you just feel kind of numb. Aside from vaginismus killing the libido being on antidepressants makes things even worse. its a struggle, but you have to keep going one day at a time..every little step you take matters..no matter how small

[jessbee]

take it from someone who has suffered from anxiety her whole life, and who tends to have serious control issues..there is absolutely nothing to be nervous about. it is normal to feel excited/anxious/nervous, but don’t let those feelings talk you out of going through with the procedure or worrying yourself sick. you are in absolutely great hands. Just as Heather mentioned, what really helped me a great deal was being active on the forum prior to the procedure. I also sought help from a therapist, in which she helped me mentally prepare for this day. Although I was still a nervous wreck a week before the actual procedure. I was able to mentally and emotionally prepare myself so well that I was so ready to get the procedure done, anesthesia no longer scared me, getting the iv was the least bit painful, and the absolute joy of waking up and realizing that, YES, i am able to have penetration and YES, this really works!! its still almost like a dream, just 3 days after the procedure and i am able to insert dilators like I’ve been doing it all my life. In addition,reading Dr. Pacik’s book helped me better understand the procedure and the actual problem of vaginismus before deciding whether I was serious about going through with this.

[jessbee]

Thank you thank you! First night was not so bad..just woke up once to go to the bathroom and realized I was pretty sore. I removed it for about five minutes and reinserted it. The small break made it feel better and I went back to bed. It is a bit uncomfortable because your body is freaking out since it has never had penetration but I was still able to sleep quite well. Thank you ladies for the well wishes!! 🙂

[jessbee]

Thank you heather! You have always been so helpful and supportive through this entire process! You too are heaven sent! 🙂

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