September 15, 2014 at 1:34 am #9268Kate91Participant
Hi! I’m Kate and am 22 years old. I will be receiving the botox procedure on October 13th. While I was growing up my parents often read me a book titled Wemberly Worried. “Wemberly worried in the morning. Wemberly worried at night. And she worried through the day.” In short its about an anxious little mouse who overcomes her fear of starting school by making a new friend. While I loved my parents for trying, I hated this book. I made friends, I have an amazing support group, I still worry. I know this severe anxiety has played a part in my vaginismus. When I began researching Dr. Pacik’s botox procedure and reading various success stories, I discovered something. I was worrying less and felt a spark of hope. It is my hope that I can become pain free that has led me to Dr. Pacik.
Now, here is a little about me, I have been married a little over a year and am desperate to start a family of my own. Like many have said, I realized something was wrong with me when I hit puberty. I was never able to use a tampon and even the thought of using one makes me feel faint. While I have been able to have full penetration, the pain was almost unbearable. My husband and I now avoid penetration and opt for other forms of intimacy that are pain free. About a year before I got married, I had my first gynecologist appointment. I tried to act calm as the doctor inserted a finger but my reflexes automatically made my vaginal muscles tighten and my thighs try to clamp shut. The doctor actually got very frustrated and dismissed my complaints of pain. It was a very scary experience. After a year of seeing various doctors and misdiagnosis I found a doctor who diagnosed me with vulvadynia and vaginismis. The vulvadynia causes me almost daily pain while the vaginismus makes sex frustrating and embarrassing. This doctor did a lot of research for me and found Dr. Pacik. I read about a lot of doctors who perform this procedure here in Utah. There success rates are terrible and the pain almost always returns. Dr. Pacik was the light at the end of the tunnel! So wish me luck and keep the advice coming!
KateSeptember 15, 2014 at 3:52 pm #1340123yearsParticipant
Wow Kate! I was diagnosed with Vulvodynia too at your age. Then started years of hellish guinea pig treatments, I did everything I was supposed to for the Vulvodynia. I wore cotton underwear, went on a low oxylate diet, worked with a biochemist and took loads of calcium citrate, used a hair dryer after showering so I would stay dry, never wore jeans as they were too abrasive, used creams, vitamin E both internal and external, and so on and so forth. Still the pain persisted. Three and a half years of chronic burning stabbing stinging pain on a constant never ending daily basis. Then I met an Indian doctor after another doctor handed me my file and basically said “get out of my office” and treated me like a psychopath (well ask any girl living with chronic burning stabbing vulvar pain and I bet THEY would say they had turned into a psychopath) now coupled with the fact these were all MALE physicians with egos and ignorance, well you get the picture. But this Indian doctor paid very close attention to what I was saying about my pain and he put me on 10mg of Elavil. I took this for six months and then very slowly over the next six months, began to not experience that daily pain on a constant basis.
But then, sex hurt. I stopped talking about it. I stopped wanting and wishing to find answers. I did what everyone must do when there’s no answers and no one willing to help you, I hid it and went on with my life the best I could. And I believed it was “all in my head”.
Until, I met Dr Pacik and then like a slowly growing flower I began to transform. I began to awaken. It was painful, it was hard, it was emotional and it was liberating! It was 23 years of war against the vulvar pain (interestingly my auto text changed the word vulvar to vulgar!) Well the medical profession was pretty vulgar and all I had to go through was vulgar too. But until Dr Pacik came into my life, I didn’t still understand my body. I was branded and labeled and brainwashed until he explained and taught and I took the chance that just maybe– maybe this was logical and they were speaking my language. They were understanding my body and they were truly feeling the things that I felt or knew enough to know what I know in my body.
YOU my lady are SO SO blessed! You didn’t know this right? But yes you are because you are going to cross this bridge and you will do this early. You will have years to perfect the understanding of your body and you and your hubby will do this together and Dr Pacik will bring the two of you through an experience of a lifetime and very soon we will see you post on this board about your pregnancy and how it was all possible. It will be work and it may be hard at times but it will be worth it!!
So happy for you!
Things are going to be OK!
23 yearsSeptember 15, 2014 at 9:33 pm #13403Heather34ModeratorQuote:Quote from Kate91 on September 15, 2014, 01:34
This doctor did a lot of research for me and found Dr. Pacik.
This is beyond wonderful Kate and I’m so, so excited for you to have your procedure coming up in October. I was so nervous leading up to having the procedure as I, too, had similar negative experiences with doctors who did not understand vaginismus. Please know you are in excellent care with Dr. Pacik, Janet Pacik, Ellen, and all of the staff. I know that one of the aspects that made this treatment program work when everything else that I tried failed was not only having the actual Botox procedure but then waking up with the dilator in place. This helped me see and know that something was able to be inside of me and pain-free. Thereafter, I was able to insert the dilators and later my husband without the normal resistance (“hitting a wall”) feeling that had always been there in the past. Please know we are all here to support you and everything will go so, so well!!!!September 16, 2014 at 11:13 pm #13410jessbeeParticipant
Kate, after the procedure you are going to love using tampons! You might just look forward to menstruating just because being able to insert them and wear them just like every other women is such a great little victory! This is my 2nd time after procedure that i’ve been excited about menstruating and not having to worry about a gross, soggy, bloody, smelly pad is the best! 🙂September 17, 2014 at 5:59 pm #13413KimberlyParticipant
Im so happy for you Kate! Your situation sounds extremely similar to mine, and I feel just as excited for you getting this procedure as you probably do yourself 🙂
Also, 23years, your story made me cry lol tears of happiness of course. Im so happy for you that you have overcome such horrible hardships in your past.September 23, 2014 at 8:09 pm #13430galaxygalParticipant
I wanted to share with you that I too have vulvodynia and vaginismus and have started to overcome both and I am so happy for you that you are getting the procedure. I went through so much before finding a combination of treatments that work. I took gabapentin for a year which helped with the vulvar pain but did nothing for the muscles and dilating was still so difficult. I truly believe that between the botox procedure, acupuncture and talking with my counselor, it was the combo that worked for me to start to overcome vulvodynia and vaginismus. My issues started after giving birth and it has taken me 2.5 years to finally get back to the way I was before all of this started. I felt so defeated every time I tried something and it didn’t work or it only partially worked. I tried sooooo many things…..creams, lidocaine, physical therapy, chiropractic care, antidepressants, anti seizure meds, and there are probably a few I am missing! Getting the botox procedure is what I needed to help my muscles relax and I don’t have any vulvar pain anymore. I wish you the best and I am thinking of you!October 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm #13457Heather34Moderator
Hi Kate! I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and just know that everything is going to go well for you on Monday! Please know we are all here to support you. NH is absolutely gorgeous right now and the colors are so beautiful (peak season). Sending you big hugs!!!!
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