All Things DILATING (2)
August 4, 2014 at 9:53 pm #13237
Hi Meghan! That is so, so, so wonderful that the dilator went right back in after you took it out and went to the bathroom! Wooooooh!!! You are seriously doing absolutely AMAZING!!!! I felt the same way in the beginning, like the dilator would fall out. In fact, I even felt like I had to hold onto the handle to keep it in but, then, the more I got used to it, it did stay in with the tight undies that I wore. The combo of what you are using will keep the dilator in. Sending huge hugs and support!!! :):):)August 5, 2014 at 8:57 pm #13242
I am 2 days post procedure and had a question…. I understand that the sore-ness is going to be there because of the length and rigorous dilating that I’ve been doing for the past 48 hours, (I went from a completely “closed” vagina, to a size #6) But I felt a weird and different sensation this evening as I was walking around with out any dilator in, my thighs and upper legs (and legs) felt like Jello, super wobbly, and limp…. almost numb? This could be something else, or have nothing to do with it, but I thought I would ask to see if any one else experienced anything like this? Thank you!!October 17, 2015 at 6:31 am #13899
Dr. Pacik’s Glass Dilators are now available through the company that manufacturers them — Crystal Delight. You can order the dilators individually or in a set of 3 dilators with or without a pouch through the Crystal Delight website. http://crystaldelights.com/shop/dilators/
There is also a link to Dr. Pacik’s bio on the Crystal Delight website at http://crystaldelights.com/us/products/our-dilators-the-whole-story/ that you may find interesting to read.October 19, 2015 at 8:19 pm #13901
I’m terrifically grateful to Dr Pacik and his team – Dr P for his glass dilators, and his team for their help and encouragement, holding my hand across the ocean. I am proud to announce that I can now not only “do it” but enjoy it and finally really feel at one with my very patient boyfriend. (It sounds weird but, looking back over decades, I realise that although I thought I’d had sex, I never actually did properly! What a waste of all those years…) It’s transformed our relationship, as you can imagine, as he now feels totally loved, and also hugely boosted my self-confidence and made such a difference to my life. There is no longer a bugbear in our lives that we uneasily kept under the carpet. If you’re new to all this like I was – perhaps feeling rather embarrassed to discuss it – and clueless about where to go for real help, read the page about Dr Pacik. That was what clinched it for me. Many, many thanks to all of you. I’ll wholeheartedly recommend Dr Pacik and his products if I hear of anyone else having difficulty with sex.November 28, 2015 at 7:43 pm #13958Quote:Quote from Lucy UK on October 19, 2015, 20:19
I am proud to announce that I can now not only “do it” but enjoy it and finally really feel at one with my very patient boyfriend. (It sounds weird but, looking back over decades, I realise that although I thought I’d had sex, I never actually did properly! What a waste of all those years…) It’s transformed our relationship, as you can imagine, as he now feels totally loved, and also hugely boosted my self-confidence and made such a difference to my life.
Huge Congrats to you Lucy!!! I absolutely LOVED reading your post. Post-procedure and post-vaginismus when my hubby and I could make love for the first time, it boosted my self-confidence in just countless ways! Vaginismus affected all areas of my life, including my relationship, and I felt and still feel on top of the world to be able to make love to my hubby pain-free. I am so, so happy that you had tremendous success with the use of the dilators and Dr. Pacik’s help. Wonderful, wonderful post and makes me smile so huge right now!!!July 20, 2016 at 4:55 pm #19538
Further Dilating Tip
Hi all. In a recent post, Melissa from Maze Women’s Sexual Health had an awesome tip for transitioning up a dilator size. Specifically, she writes:
“I would move the fourth dilator around, side to side, and in and out. The more you can move the fourth dilator around, you will stretch the introitus, and further manipulate the muscles, and make more room for the fifth dilator.”
While dilating post-procedure, I remember that incorporating movement and the thrusting motion helped greatly. Has moving the dilators helped you as well? Any feedback would be very helpful for others reading this right now.November 30, 2016 at 3:10 am #20224
I’ve been using dilators for a month and a half and am on the second size. The directions say to use it for 5 minutes a day, but on this forum I read of people putting it in for hours! I had never heard that before. Maybe I need to use it for a longer time, since I’m not making much progress with the dilators. I’ve been using the second size for about a month and a half (not every day, though) and am becoming discouraged with the lack of progress. The size two dilator doesn’t go in all the way, probably just 2-3 inches. Sometimes I get a mild burning sensation. Has anyone else experienced this?November 30, 2016 at 4:14 pm #20225
Hi Cristal5! Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post! I used dilators for a year following my Botox treatment and I, too, felt mild burning from time to time when inserting them. I think what really helped me was using the lidocaine mixed with surgilube in the beginning and then liberally using lube and also distracting myself with watching a movie or a show with the hubby while dilating. I think the timing of dilating is different for everyone. Following my procedure, I dilated for 2 hours a day and slept with one every other night. This worked for me but others have dilated less and that worked for them. I also used the Pure Romance dilators post-procedure and they did stick out a bit. Dr. Pacik has written some excellent posts about dilating that I wanted to share:
He writes: “…[i]t is true that the softest dilators are the Pure Romance silicone but the #5 and 6 are made too long and protrude excessively. It is for this reason I worked with Shellie to manufacture the shorter glass dilators. A two hour DVD is also available giving instructions how to dilate. This approach is most suitable for women who are able to tolerate some penetration but not intercourse. The glass dilators, instruction DVD and book can be ordered through Shellie http://crystaldelights.com/shop/dilators/“
“Though I recommend two hours of dilation a day and sleeping with the #4 every second night, this is needed only for the first 4-6 weeks. After this it is common to back down to 1.5 hours for another month and one hour a day by about month two. After six months many women dilate for only 15-30 minutes 2-3 times a week. After one year and especially for those who are comfortable with intercourse dilation is often no longer needed.”
I hope this helps. Sending you support and hugs today!!!December 2, 2016 at 5:44 pm #20254
Thank you, Heather! I appreciate this information. The doctor I went to see didn’t really tell me anything about vaginismus. All he did was prescribe dilators and point me to the website vaginismus.com. Through this website, I found out what vaginismus was, since I had never heard of it before. I got the dilators from this website, since they were cheaper, but they don’t seem like the type that one could put in for a few hours or even sleep with.
Does anyone know if there is a difference between vaginismus and having a problem with the hymen? I can’t tell whether I have vaginismus or if there’s a problem with the hymen that keeps me from having intercourse. The doctor I went to see seemed to think the hole was too small and that I could either use dilators or have an operation. I’ve been trying to find more info online about hymen problems, but I can’t seem to find anything.
Also, I’ve been doing some research, and some places say that vaginismus does not cause infertility, and others say that it does, because if someone can’t get penetration, then they can’t get pregnant. So I’m confused as to why I hear different things about this. I’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and a half, and haven’t had any success. Is vaginismus something that can keep someone from getting pregnant?December 5, 2016 at 7:42 pm #20255
Rachel Hercman, LCSWModerator
Vaginismus can certainly be an obstacle to getting pregnant because it can make it very difficult for a penis to enter and ejaculate. That being said, we’ve had patients over the years who had vaginismus and got pregnant by their partner ejaculating at the edge. Either way, tackling vaginismus can be a huge relief not just from a fertility perspective but pbviously from a general relationship/sexual perspective as well.
Regarding using the dilators; many of our patients have tried to use dilators by themselves and were not successful. Having someone there to help work through them can make a huge difference– a medical professional, pelvic floor therapist, etc.
Keep hanging on!!May 31, 2017 at 7:37 pm #21005
For beginners like me…. should I begin with silicone and then maybe advance to glass??? (I’m scared I would break it!!) :OJune 1, 2017 at 10:03 am #21006
I think the silicone dilators are a great place to start. Most patients find them really easy to use, and they like that they are not as hard as plastic or glass.
Be assured the glass dilators won’t break in your vagina. They could break if you drop them on the floor, but they will not break with vaginal insertion. They are made for vaginal penetration, and are a strong glass.
I do find patients trend to use the glass dilators after they have worked with the silicone dilator set.June 10, 2017 at 6:54 am #21075
I personally like silicone just because it’s kind of easier to imagine them as being similar to a penis for whatever reason – the gel coating and slight flexibility of them makes it less scary! I haven’t tried glass dilators but I’ve done a harder plastic one as an addition to my regular set and found that they were more difficult to use just because they were so rigid.
Plus, if you’re worrying already about using the glass ones for fear of them breaking, I wouldn’t subject yourself to that additional anxiety when you’ve already got your vaginismus to deal with! If silicone dilators will relax you more, they’re the way to go.December 4, 2017 at 9:02 pm #22199
Hi Cristal. I am sorry for your experience with the doctor you visited and him not talking to you about vaginismus. I, too, tried and failed to be able to insert the dilators you describe (plastic ones). Following my Botox procedure, I used the Silicone Pure Romance dilators. I found the material to be softer and I could liberally coat these dilators with lots of lubricant. Also, so importantly for me, I found the handles at the end to be really helpful to be able to insert, remove and then reinsert the different sized dilators. I was comfortable sleeping with the purple dilator overnight and, again, found the silicone material to work for me with both the comfort and lube application.
In regards to your question about the Hymen, you wrote: “Does anyone know if there is a difference between vaginismus and having a problem with the hymen? I can’t tell whether I have vaginismus or if there’s a problem with the hymen that keeps me from having intercourse. The doctor I went to see seemed to think the hole was too small and that I could either use dilators or have an operation. I’ve been trying to find more info online about hymen problems, but I can’t seem to find anything.” This is a very, very good question. In the past, Dr. Pacik has addressed this and has written: “The main problem with vaginismus is spasm of the vaginal entry muscle. Therefore the treatment needs to address this spasm which is Botox, dilators and post procedure counseling, or dilators alone with counseling in less severe cases. Though the hymen may be a problem, and sometimes I find the need to release the hymen (fairly rare), hymenectomy in of itself will not cure vaginismus. Feeling your muscles going into spasm when kissing confirms your diagnosis of vaginal spasm. This is much like suddenly getting a “Charlie horse” when other muscles in the body go into spasm. “Hitting a wall” is also a very common complaint. All this speaks to muscle spasm and therefore the diagnosis of vaginismus. The inability to have a GYN exam further confirms the diagnosis. A doctor who is able to insert only one finger (or usually no finger when the muscle looks and feels like a tightly closed fist) could be an indication of a tight hymen, but when combined with the proper history, the diagnosis should be muscular spasm rather than the need for a hymenectomy. (A recent patient had both a hymenectomy and an episiotomy (cutting into the vagina) which is sometimes done during childbirth to widen the canal). Of course none of this helps because the diagnosis of spasm was missed.”
Also, we became pregnant using the syringe method alternating w/intercourse. On the month that we conceived, it was solely w/the syringe method. I shared our story in a prior post (see below). Please know that you have my support 100%!!!!December 4, 2017 at 9:03 pm #22200
Hi hfitz. I have used both the Pure Romance Silicone dilators as well as the Pacik glass dilators. When I first saw the glass dilators (even long after being able to have intercourse and successfully use the silicone dilators), the look and thought of glass felt intimidating to me. Despite this, I dilated with one of my Silicone ones prior and then inserted the glass one and it was actually very comfortable. The glass ones, like the silicone ones also have handles and are much shorter in length. I liked this aspect when I wore them during the day in advance of gyn exams or on a date with the hubby in advance of intercourse. I think the Silicone set is great for beginners as this is the one I first used and became comfortable with but the glass set is good as well for the shorter length aspect. I hope this helps.
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