Have you heard the term “micro-cheating”? Maybe you think it’s just the latest in a long line of fabricated TikTok hashtags designed for easy click bate. But actually, micro-cheating refers to real life behaviors that can wreak havoc on relationships.
While there isn’t one reigning definition of micro-cheating, most experts agree with what Psychology Today describes as “small breaches of trust in a relationship that don’t pass the threshold into a physical affair. As opposed to something concrete – such as walking in on your partner having sex with someone else – micro-cheating can be more nebulous, and often left to interpretation. Examples might include behaviors such as:
- Allowing and/or encouraging sexual or romantic advances from others
- Clandestinely communicating with an ex-partner
- Registering on a dating site
Of course, some people in monogamous relationships might agree to any or all of the above. What might be hurtful to some might be rendered okay by others.
That’s why micro-cheating really is in the eye of the beholder (and according to the expectations of any given couple). That word bears repeating – it’s our expectations of partnerships that often go unspoken. Someone might truly think that their mild flirtation with someone at the grocery store is just that – an innocent, benign gesture that takes nothing away from their feelings about their partner. But said partner might see it in an entirely different way.
When people enter committed relationships, communication is key. How and when to discuss what might be okay and what absolutely isn’t is up to each couple, but there is simply no substitute for expressing feelings and stating boundaries. That way, both partners are on the same page and can carry on accordingly. It can also be helpful to try and not jump to accusations and conclusions without getting all the info. Our romantic and sexual histories can sometimes lead us to narratives that simply aren’t accurate.
If you’ve encountered a potential micro-cheating situation and need some extra support, or if you need help with any other sexual concern, contact us for a free phone consultation. Our team of experts can help you and your partner build communication skills that will serve you now and well into the rest of your relationship.
