[Nicole A]

Hi there. This brings to mind something I read somewhere (magazine? book?) that really stuck with me… This couple had developed a way to discreetly signal to each other when one of them wanted to have sex, but without pressuring the other person to have it right at that moment. So they had a marble (any trinket will work), and if, for example, the husband wanted to have sex he would place the marble on his wife’s nightstand. They had an agreement that when the marble is placed, they will have sex within the next 24 hours – and it’s up to the person who receives the marble (wife) to determine when she wants to have it. This allowed the husband to “tell” his wife he wanted to be intimate with her, without having any fear of rejection from her. This also allowed the wife some control, because she then determined when they would have sex… so she did not feel pressured to perform at that moment. I know this won’t work for everyone, but I thought I would share the idea =)

[Nicole A]

Thanks for the advice ladies, I will pack accordingly! Those heated blankets sound nice =) I am arriving a few days early to spend time in Boston as I have never been before. I am so so so so so excited I cannot even explain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nicole A]

Thank you Possum for your honesty. You are very brave to share a post like this and I think lots of others out there probably feel the same. I haven’t undergone my procedure yet, so I cant provide any input, but I have wondered if something like this could be a challenge for myself or my husband. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the very very best.

[Nicole A]

Congrats on your success Nola! That is truly wonderful. I know you will get better and better. I haven’t had my procedure yet, but I will in September and am so looking forward to it.

[Nicole A]

Thank you Nakita and Heather for your kind words and support. Your responses are so encouraging to me! There are times when I get so down on myself and so upset because of this whole thing. I really needed to read this right now, so thank you so much.

[Nicole A]

Yes! I had this happen to me… but it wasn’t a doctor, it was a midwife. I tried to make an appointment with a gynecologist and when I made the appointment, I just said I had some “questions” as I was too shy to tell the scheduler why I wanted an appointment. She set me up to speak to a midwife (I have an HMO plan). The midwife just told me to drink a few glasses of wine and relax. I was not advised of the possibility of vaginismus. So when that didn’t work, I just thought something was wrong with me. I also tried drinking excessively in order to have sex… no dice.

[Nicole A]

Bethany, I did one session of bio feedback with my physical therapist. Your comments are exactly what I experienced – the PT was so surprised at how anxious I was. She even left the room because she said I was so sensitive and stressed. Although I was anxious, I didn’t think I was as stressed as the machine was telling me I was! Even if the PT talked to me, the machine would respond that I was getting anxious.

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