[Leena]

Heather! This is super helpful! Thanks so much. I will definitely try these.

[Leena]

Thanks so much, Heather! It is good to “see” you again. I really appreciate this info.

[Leena]

Thanks so much, Melissa, for these tips. I will definitely pursue those that I have not already tried. Your answer is incredibly helpful, as well as validating.

[Leena]

Janet, thanks so much! I thought that was the case, but just wanted to make 100% sure. Thanks again and all the best.

[Leena]

Hi, Dr. Pacik.

I hope you have a fruitful, fulfilling, and wonderful sabbatical. As someone just 6 weeks post-procedure. will I be able to continue to email you my dilation log and/or email you with questions?

All the best,
Leena (Michele)

[Leena]

Dear ravioli,

My situation was very similar to yours, except that I was never, ever able to have anything inserted into my vagina (my wall was VERY STRONG!), except under anesthesia. Even under anesthesia, the doctor said my vagina was “tense”. I am 45 (46 tomorrow!), and I just had Dr. Pacik’s treatment in May, and things are going so well. Better than I really ever could have believed. I am not married and do not have a boyfriend, but in addition to now being able to self-dilate I was able to successfully use a vibrator. I traveled from New York City to New Hampshire for Dr. Pacik’s treatment because it is the only thing I have found that I thought might work for me. He has done hundreds with great success, though he is retiring soon. If you are in any way able to travel to New Hampshire for the treatment, I would recommend it. He has had patients from England and other parts of Europe travel just to see him. It will be a thousand times worth it if you can somehow manage it. It will transform your life. It is great that you are on this forum. I joined it about 18 months ago, and I moved from a place where I thought I was a freak and nobody else had this problem to a place of accepting myself and being accepted and welcomed by a large community of women who share our health condition. I wish you the very best, raviol! Leena 🙂

[Leena]

Dear claraohwel-1,

My advice is to contact Dr. Pacik’s office directly by phone and ask for the free consultation – there is also a Free Consultation button on the home page.

I suffered with vaginsmus for decades because various gynecologists did not diagnose me – it was is if they weren’t familiar with vaginismus, or it wasn’t on their radar. Finding Dr. Pacik has been a blessing. He is so knowledgeable about vaginismus, and his treatment plan is excellent. I had my procedure with him a month ago, and I can’t believe how much better things are in that short amount of time. Dr. Pacik will be retiring, so I encourage you to contact the office for the free consultation as soon as you feel ready.

All the best,
Leena

[Leena]

Dearest Heather,

Warmest congratulations and best wishes on your little blessing! I am so happy for you and your husband. You have been such a great support to me and to so many on this forum, which makes this even more special – because I feel as though I know you. All the best to you, and Dr. Pacik, this little bundle would not be here without you – God bless you and your work.

Affectionately,
Michele 🙂

[Leena]

Hi, ladies!

I had my procedure May 4th, and I could not have ever imagined it and the ongoing self dilating would go so well. So keep the faith. This treatment is a true miracle.

STEP BY STEP: I found the step by step provided in one of the chapters of Dr. Pacik’s book great – it is very detailed and lists it all out. It’s definitely worth getting the book, and if you feel a slight redundancy to the forum stick with it because it has a lot of really helpful info.

DEALING WITH NERVES: I was excited up to about two weeks before the procedure, when I experienced a whole other additional dimension of fear than I ever knew existed within me. Fortunately I have a therapist, and she was able to talk me through it. She adivsed that whenever I start getting panicked to re-focus back on the goal and to leave the emotions to the side. Just concentrate on the facts: you have a medical condition that can be treated by an expert in the field and will then need to use medical devices as part of physical therapy over the course of a year (the dilators). I had also prepared a NH playlist based on another patient’s idea/thread and was waiting to listen to it on my travel to NH, but I found that I really needed it more before that, when the nerves hit. And that helped. Here it is in case you would like to do the same thing. All songs are positive, mostly empowering, some I just like 😉

1. Brave Sara Bareilles
2. What Faith Can Do Kutless
3. Stronger Kelly Clarkson
4. Roar Katy Perry
5. Do My Thing Estelle
6. I’m On My Way The Proclaimers
7. Today Is Your Day Shania Twain
8. Three Little Birds Bob Marley
9. Desert Rose Sting
10. Powder Your Face
With Sunshine Dean Martin
11. Just The Way You Are Bruno Mars
12. Beautiful Christina Aguilera
13. Healing Begins Tenth Avenue North
14. Walk On The Water Britt Nicole
15. Fly Like An Eagle Seal
16. Pumpin’ Blood NONONO
17. I’m Yours Jason Mraz
18. All Star Smash Mouth
19. Unwritten Natasha Bedingfield
20. I Can See Clearly Now Johnny Nash
21. Firework Katy Perry

I was really tired the afternoon of the procedure and took a long nap. I also got sore and tired that night. I was fine for the next half day at the office – no soreness. I rested that afternoon, but I do tend to get pretty tired. I was in town the next day and walked around and took pictures, ate ice cream, and did take out form the Hungarian Cafe on Elm St. (by Radisson).

LUBRICANT: I really like the surgical lubricant at Dr. Pacik’s office. (Surgilube) At first they mix it 50/50 with lidocaine, but after about a week you can switch to just regular lubricant (it’s not advisable to stay with lidocaine as it may cause irritation after a while and you don’t want it to become a crutch.) He sells tubes at the office, but I got a bunch through Amazon: http://smile.amazon.com/Surgilube-Lubricating-Jelly-Sterile-Tubes/dp/B00JLIFY44/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1432761181&sr=8-2&keywords=surgical+lubricant You can also get a sample of another lubricant called Slippery Stuff from the office. A lot of people seem to like it, but I didn’t. It’s just a matter of personal preference. Dr. Pacik also mentioned olive oil. I’d say try as many options at you can in the early days of your stay so that you can determine what is right for you and bring back home with you if necessary.

CONGRATULATIONS!

[Leena]

Hi BG – I’m 45, and I just had the treatment on May 4th. I think Janet’s suggestion is a good one. The botox doesn’t even kick in for several days, and I was able to make good progress with the self-dilation even within that period. Waking up with the dilator inside of you really does flip a psychological switch. Between that and the counseling and the forum, I think you have a very good chance at improving your circumstances. Even without the botox. I encourage you to have the procedure done with Dr. Pacik before he retires if at all possible, especially in your case. With Dr. Pacik’s treatment, botox is just one of the tools used to overcome this terrible condition. By the way, I was level 5 vaginismus, a virgin, and never could insert anything or have anything inserted into my vagina except under anesthesia. I was petrified, had several failed intercourse attempts and several failed gyn exams. So believe me when I tell you this will make a difference. You get your power back. I wish you all the best. Michele

[Leena]

I could not agree with you more, 23 years. Wonderfully stated. Dr. Pacik is a miracle worker and a blessing from God. Congratulations to you!

[Leena]

Hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my success in fundraising with you, in the hopes that you might be able to finance or partially finance your procedure if money is an issue for you and your insurance does not cover the procedure. It’s great that more and more insurance companies seem to be covering it, in whole or in part, but unfortunately mine wasn’t one of them! I am so thankful that I was able to raise over $3,000 through my fundraiser.

I looked for advice on the Forum and found a helpful website one of the ladies shared: http://www.yourcaring.com I used this vehicle for announcing the fundraiser on Facebook and via email to friends and family who are not on Facebook. I did not give details but explained it discreetly (I’ve pasted my wording below in case anyone would like an idea – feel free to use wording from it liberally). I shared fuller details privately with closer friends – I hadn’t told many people in the 35 years that I had suffered from vaginismus. I’m sure that is the case with many of us.

I told folks that although the website does not charge a fee, PayPal does charge a small fee (about 3%), and if they wanted to send a check to let me know and I would send them my mailing address. Luckily, most people did this. Although, it was really useful for my friends who don’t live in the U.S. to give through the site, and there are always people who prefer to just put it on their credit card. The site really allows you to tell your story and is a good way to spread the word about your fundraiser.

Please note that some people thought this was a scam and either called or emailed me to ask. I answered them and then posted to FB and followed up my email stating that some people had asked me about that and I confirmed it was me and it was real. In this case, I really do think a photo would help (although I had used one and still got questions, I’m sure my request would have been largely ignored without my photo there.)

I re-posted and re-emailed a few times over a 9-week period with a few new words on top – an update on the fundraiser, a thank you to those who already gave, a statement that if you still want to give here is the info – and that helped remind people. I thanked everyone immediately as their donations came in on YourCaring or by check and sent a thank you email to the group who supported me with donations and prayers after I came back from NH and could share how well everything went, asking for continued prayers during the year-long physical therapy.
I hope this might help some of you reading this. Good luck! By the way, the procedure was an astounding success, and I am amazed how well the self-dilating is going (I was petrified of this beforehand, but it is going great!)

Here is what I wrote on my fundraising page:

“Dear Friends and Family,

This is normally close to the time of year when I have an annual fundraiser to support a favorite charity. As funny as this feels, this year I am asking you to help me. There is a medical procedure that will make a big difference in my life. It’s very sensitive and deeply personal, so I won’t go into details.
It is for a condition that has not been well studied until very recently, and there is just one doctor who performs this treatment program, which he pioneered, and his offices are located in New Hampshire. He is well-reputed and recognized and has done thorough research and carried out studies on this treatment. He has treated hundreds of people over the past several years, with over a 90% success rate. Unfortunately, my insurance will not cover this procedure because they still consider it experimental, and this doctor is retiring this summer. In addition, I have been unable to work and will be unable to do so in the foreseeable future due to a disability (which is why I’ve temporarily moved back home to recuperate physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially).

I am hoping to have the procedure done in May in New Hampshire and would appreciate any help you can give as I try to finance the $6,000 procedure and associated travel and accommodation costs (I need to stay there several days).

Note that giving through this website, which is via PayPal, shaves 3% off your donation, so contact me if you can send a check instead.

Thanks for considering this request, and prayers and positive wishes are also needed and welcome.

All the best,
Michele”

[Leena]

Thanks much, Dr. Pacik.

[Leena]

I think I need to double check on how much to shave pre-procedure. I do not normally shave, but in the past when I have I was very sensitive and got itchy, sore, redness. So I don’t want to shave any more than I have to. I don’t have all that much really. Can you please tell me precisely how much/wear to shave?

I am single, so I am coming with a friend so she can stay the night with me. In terms of the day of the procedure, what can she expect to do? I see her taking me into the office for moral support and then maybe coming to see me when I wake up. I’d like as much support and reassurance from her as possible (and she is willing to do that), but if the rest of the day is just me dilating under the supervision of a staff member, I don’t see her being involved in that. If you could help clarify what the day will look like and share any ideas on how she may be of best support to me in it, I would appreciate it.

[Leena]

Thanks, Heather. Big hugs to you and your little one 🙂

[Author]

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