I think I have it, Where do I start?

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Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Daily Questions About Vaginismus I think I have it, Where do I start?

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    I’m nineteen and suspect that I have Vaginismus. Sex has never been pleasant for me, and the times it has been successful I had to be plastered drunk for it. My parents have never talked to me about anything even remotely sex related because its an awkward conversation, so I have no idea how to approach getting a diagnosis or treatment or anything. The internet has been really vague about it and I want to hear what worked best for other women.

    Please respond, I’m extremely alone in this right now.


    Dear claraohwel-1,

    My advice is to contact Dr. Pacik’s office directly by phone and ask for the free consultation – there is also a Free Consultation button on the home page.

    I suffered with vaginsmus for decades because various gynecologists did not diagnose me – it was is if they weren’t familiar with vaginismus, or it wasn’t on their radar. Finding Dr. Pacik has been a blessing. He is so knowledgeable about vaginismus, and his treatment plan is excellent. I had my procedure with him a month ago, and I can’t believe how much better things are in that short amount of time. Dr. Pacik will be retiring, so I encourage you to contact the office for the free consultation as soon as you feel ready.

    All the best,


    Hi clara. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so, so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. I, too, had primary vaginismus for all of my 20s and into my early 30s up until 2011. Please know that you have found an excellent place of support and you are not alone with this problem at all. Currently, there are over 811 Forum members who have all either had, currently have, or in some way are affected by vaginismus. Together, we can all learn from each other and be an excellent community of support.

    As for tips on treatment, while Dr. Pacik has now retired, he is referring patients to an excellent group in NY, Maze Women’s Sexual Health. Specifically, Janet Pacik writes:

    “We are pleased to announce that since Dr. Pacik’s retirement on September 1st, 2015, Maze Women’s Sexual Health will be taking over the VaginismusMD website and the VaginismusMD Forum. Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus is the Clinical Director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health and Melissa Ferrara is the Associate Clinical Director. Both Dr. Marcus and Melissa were trained by Dr. Pacik using his Botox treatment program plus progressive dilation under anesthesia and have already treated many women successfully with vaginismus. We are extremely pleased that with Dr. Pacik’s retirement, there is a caring group of experts, each trained in female sexual health, to take over his program in treating women with vaginismus. To learn more about Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus, Melissa Ferrara and Maze Women’s Sexual Health, please visit their website at the following links: //mazewomenshealth.com/about-us/our-team/ //mazewomenshealth.com/painful-sex-vaginal-pain/vaginismus/ Maze Women’s Sexual Health uses the same questionnaires that Dr. Pacik used to access the severity of vaginismus and to determine if you are a candidate for the Botox treatment program plus progressive dilation under anesthesia. For more information on Maze women’s Sexual Health or to request the questionnaires, please fill out the contact form on the VaginismusMD website at http://www.vaginismusmd.com/contact/ or fill out the contact form on the Maze Women’s Sexual Health website at //mazewomenshealth.com/contact/ At this time, I would like to welcome Maze Women’s Sexual Health, Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus and Melissa to our VaginismusMD Forum!”

    Dr. Pacik wrote an excellent follow-up this past November:

    “I am getting some very nice reports about patients who have been treated by Maze Women’s Sexual Health. Melissa has taken the lead guiding new patients through their treatment programs and gives excellent support post procedure. It makes me especially happy that we continue to have a high rate of success from our program using Botox as part of a multimodal treatment program to help overcome vaginismus.”

    I secondly wanted to share information with you on working with vaginal dilators. During my 20s, I tried to use the dilators from vag.com along with the workbook and could never make it past the step of being able to insert a q-tip or the smallest sized tampon which did not work d/t burning pain. Post-procedure, I was able to insert dilators for the first time ever and then my husband and also have exams, all things that I never ever ever thought would be possible. I’ve used both the Pure Romance dilator set as well as the Pacik Glass ones and like them both. The Pure Romance ones are great because they’re a softer silicone material and have handles which makes them easier to insert and remove. They also have many, many different sizes. I also really like the Pacik Glass ones because they, too, have the handles and they are shorter in length so you don’t feel them as much and can do other things with them in. I want to share the link for the second issue of the VaginismusMD Newsletter that discusses all-things dilating. Specific topics include: Styles and Materials of Dilators, Getting Started with Dilation (includes information on ordering dilator set), Anxiety Control, Advanced Dilation Techniques, and Transitioning to Intercourse. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-newsletter-archive/ins-outs-vaginal-dilation/ I also used a combination of Lidocaine/Surgilube as a lubricant on the dilators. I liberally used this and it made beginning insertion much more doable.

    Ok, I hope all of this helps and again want you to know that I am sincerely here for you along your journey of overcoming vaginismus. Sending you support.


    Hi Clara, I would encourage you to give our center a call for a free 10 minute phone consultation. 914-328-3700. You will speak with a clinician, and she will be able to give you some advise as to where to start for treatment and evaluation. Another idea is to considering finding a pelvic floor physical therapist in your area. They can treat vaginismus, and I find usually know so much more about vaginismus than most gynecologists. They also work with dilators, which is always a component to successful vaginismus treatment. If you want to try dilation on your own, I would recommend pure romance set of dilators, or the dilators from Syracuse Medical Devices.
    Pure Romance:

    Syracuse Medical:

    Dr. Pacik

    I have found that most of the dilators work as long as one is willing to make a commitment to use them. For those women who have severe vaginismus and unable to tolerate any penetration, dilation may be a never ending frustrating task and it would be better to make an appointment to have the treatment under anesthesia with Maze.
    I have heard from my patients that plastic can be uncomfortable-though they appear to be less expensive than the other dilators. It is true that the softest dilators are the Pure Romance silicone but the #5 and 6 are made too long and protrude excessively. It is for this reason I worked with Shellie to manufacture the shorter glass dilators. A two hour DVD is also available giving instructions how to dilate. This approach is most suitable for women who are able to tolerate some penetration but not intercourse. The glass dilators, instruction DVD and book can be ordered through Shellie

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