[Kimberly]

Hi Hope!

Ive been suffering from vaginismus for 7 years, so I feel your pain, emotionally and physically. Vaginismus makes you feel like less of a woman (even when you’re not), it makes you frustrated, upset, angry, confused, etc. Whats really important is realizing that you are NOT alone. We are all here for you and have all walked in your shoes 🙂

I have to be honest, and tell you that your story really made me sad, because I dont feel as though your current boyfriend is right for you. I know I dont know you, or him, or the entire situation. But you deserve someone who is going to be your BIGGEST supporter, not your biggest source of pressure and stress.

For 3 of the 7 years I had this condition I was with a man who I loved very much as well. But after some time I realized that he actually wasnt treating me very well at all, and was constantly pressuring me to fix this problem, and made me feel like less of a woman. And that alone told me that he had no idea how this condition even works. It is completely out of our control. If a man cant understand that, or cant even do a simple Google search to read up on what you are going through, then he has some growing up to do, and he is not loving you with all of his heart.

For the next two years I was single, and it gave me extremely valuable time to grow and learn about myself, and learn to have more confidence. Then about a year ago I found my current boyfriend, who is the love of my life. He is the kindest, sweetest man I could ever ask for. And he has not pressured me ONCE about having sex. I am still diligently working towards being able to have sex, but he realizes this, and he understands, and he loves me anyways.

YOU deserve that too. EVERY woman deserves that. So please consider if this man you are with is truly the right person for you right now. I know its extremely hard, and I know you probably have strong feelings. But the things he is saying and doing are troubling you more than helping you.

I wish you nothing but the best, and just know that although this condition may seem neverending, it CAN be overcome. I used to not even be able to insert my finger as well. And now I can insert a medium sized dilator 🙂

Good luck, and happy holidays!!

[Kimberly]

No worries lulu!

We’re all going through the exact same thing. I know how you feel, I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions as well. I go from “Wow I am so excited, I’m going to be having pain free sex in no time!” to “Omg this is never going to work. I’m doomed.” in about two seconds haha.

I just had my procedure done about a week ago and I’m already stressing myself out over every little thing. Like everyone else, I woke up with the #6 in me pain free. Then the #4 in all night, and #5 the next day. Yet as of the last few days I have only been using the #3. Its not painful, but it is still a bit uncomfortable, so I am just waiting another few days until that is 100% comfortable and then I’ll be moving on to the #4. And then the #5, and so on. But every once in a while I still think things like “Why cant you do more?? You should be doing the #5 by now!” But I just try to remind myself that our bodies aren’t robots, and we have to listen to what our bodies are telling us in order to achieve success. Patience patience patience!! 😀

Pretty soon we will be using the #6 with ease! 😀 Hope everything is going well for you!

[Kimberly]

Hi ceegee, thank you so much for your response!

It really helped put my nerves at ease. It always helps me to know that what I’m feeling is not uncommon and that other people have experienced it. I had guessed that maybe it had something to do with my period. I started it today as I expected. This is the first time having my period since the procedure so I’m trying to decide if I should keep dilating or not because it makes me nervous for some reason. I think I’m just going to try to pretend I’m not even on my period and see how things feel.

There are definitely all sorts of weird feelings and pokes and pains while dilating, but none of them come close to the burning hopeless feeling I had before. So I’m just excited I can be dilating at all. My goal is just to try to get completely used to #3, then move up to #4, and so on.

Btw congrats on how far you’ve come and all you’ve accomplished! That must be so exciting. I can’t wait until I can say the same. Lots to look forward to! 😀

[Kimberly]

Hi Pumpkin! (haha cute name) I really enjoyed reading your story. I am so happy for you and your husband. It must be the most amazing feeling in the world to be able to finally achieve this.

My procedure is scheduled for August 26th and I cant wait. I’m extremely nervous but extremely excited. For years now I’ve been dreaming about how much I will change once I can finally get rid of this problem. That’s why I loved that part where you talked about showing off the pregnancy test in the store. I would SO do something like that haha. I can’t wait to be able to walk around with the confidence knowing that I am finally “normal” and can feel like a confident and healthy woman.

Congrats again!
Kim

[Kimberly]

Thank you for your post lulu! A lot of great advice.

I can relate SO much to that feeling of frustration you were talking about. In fact I could never really pinpoint why I was always so angry until I just read your post. It has always angered me to think that myself, and every other woman dealing with vaginismus, even has to go through what we go through. Sex is supposed to be such a natural and wonderful thing. I have always been bitter about it.

But now that I have my procedure scheduled I feel so grateful to finally have help with this. My biggest goal for myself will be to celebrate everything I accomplish along my journey, instead of getting frustrated 🙂

[Kimberly]

Hi mat1989, thank you SO much for your response! Every new thing I hear from people makes me less and less anxious.

I think I will be doing almost what you did, I think I’d like to have my mom mostly with me for day 1 but my boyfriend with me for day 2. And yes I definitely might need that medication for the anxiety once I get in there haha.

I think the biggest obstacle for me will be to not get flustered even if I cant dilate as fast as I would like to. I have a bad tendency of giving up on myself too easily and feeling like there’s something wrong with me, when in reality its mostly just in my head. I have confidence though that this is definitely the thing I need to help me solve this problem once and for all 🙂

[Kimberly]

Hello everyone! I’ll be going in for my procedure on August 26th 😀

I’ve been trying to get this procedure done for the last three years, and things just kept getting in my way, the biggest one being the lack of money. But with help from my father and stepmother I finally was able to schedule an appointment. I am SO excited.

I’m also SUPER anxious and nervous, but I’m sure that’s how everybody feels. The majority of the stories I’ve read on this forum talk about how great their procedures went and how you shouldn’t be nervous, but of course I’m terrified I’ll be one of the few patients who has some rare problem, or complication, or a lot of pain. I’m anxious about everything, from the anesthesia (I’ve never been put under before) to the post-procedure dilating. I’ve never even had a tampon in me so all of this will be quite the experience.

I hope I get to meet some of you ladies soon 🙂 the best of luck to all of you!!

(P.S. – Does anybody know what the norm is when it comes to who is with you throughout the procedure? I’m torn between bringing my mom or my boyfriend or both, and I was curious if somebody stays in the room with me, or if they would just wait outside? Thanks!)

[Kimberly]

Thank you for your reply and for the information! I think that it is vaginismus too after researching it a little more.

[Kimberly]

Omg thank you so much! I was just on there and realized somebody had, and then I got frustrated because I realized theres no way I can find out who it was so I can thank them! Thank you and your husband so much! <3

[Kimberly]

Thank you so much that truly is comforting to hear jessbee. Im just a huge worrier, and I keep thinking “Im going to be that one case where they find out its some big other problem that this procedure cant fix” Kinda silly really. But I cant help it haha. I hope Im wrong and that one day I’ll be able to post on here about how wrong I truly was 🙂

[Kimberly]

Thank you so much! 🙂

[Kimberly]

Thank you so much! I really appreciate it 🙂

[Kimberly]

Oh and I meant to add, as you can see in the description it refers to my name as Paige. This is because my friend Paige set it up and she told me afterwards that she didn’t know if I would feel comfortable having my name on it so she created it with her name.

[Kimberly]

Thats so awesome!! Congratulations! That must be such an incredible feeling 🙂

[Kimberly]

Ok great thank you 🙂

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