In this recent article by Seth Stephen Davidovitz he concludes, after analyzing data from Google searches related to sex that, “if we (both men and women) were less insecure about it (sex) we might have more of it.” Yes! This is true. I see it all day long as a therapist who specializes in sex. As Davidovitz pointed out, most people are more concerned with their own insecurities rather than their partners. I think this leads to further disconnection sexually and less real intimacy. The other negative part of this feedback loop is that partners don’t typically communicate with one another about how they are feeling and what their likes/dislikes really are. This leads to further disconnection and less good sex over all.
There is so much mythology about what men and women want sexually. Generally these assumptions are false. This further leads men and women away from each other. The most important thing is to find a partner who wants or likes what you want.
