[haley.rid]

I would love to watch a video of your story!! Just watching the experience from someone else’s point of view would be so beneficial for others with or without vaginismus. I think it would really benefit those who might be hesitant towards the procedure. Keep us posted! I’m so excited for you to have your procedure! I just had mine in January, and it’s flipped my life upside down in the best way possible 🙂

[haley.rid]

vgfears,

I am so sorry for your frustrations and fear. I understand where you’re coming from. I was treated on Jan 20th, and the months prior to that I was definitely scared of the procedure, and even just getting the IV! What really helped me was having someone there who was completely involved and supportive. That could be a close friend, sister, mom, boyfriend, husband, etc.. Whenever I started feeling anxious, it was so good to have someone physically there to vent to or even just to tell me that everything will be okay. I also felt more confident after reading Dr. Pacik’s book “When Sex Seems Impossible” and also the experiences of others on the forum. This goes through the entire process step by step so there were no surprises. I knew exactly what to expect.
I’m sure that at one point or another, every woman on this Forum has felt isolated, like no one understands what they’re going though. I felt that numerous times! But that is the beauty of this Forum! It’s such a safe place to talk about fears and feelings and experiences. I think it’s so great that you’re open and honest with how you’re feeling. That gives others a chance to find ways to cater to your specific needs. I don’t know if I can offer a direct solution, but I do want to offer a hand of fellowship and friendship. Just know that my decision to face my fears and go through the procedure has changed my life and increased my happiness and confidence in general. I feel like I can conquer anything placed before me now! You are worthy and deserving of this happiness! You deserve to be happy 🙂 Please continue to keep us updated on your thought and feelings. We’re here for you! Sending loves and hugs!

[haley.rid]

So…. we were able to achieve full penetration last night for the first time ever!!! It wasn’t really planned, but I had dilated as usual before just in case. In the past when my husband would ask,”should we try?”, I would always get anxious and tense, but last night I was all for it! I have felt super confident dilating with all the sizes, so that definitely played into my new found confidence in bed. At first, I felt the usual stretching and kept asking if he was going in straight. After about 5-10 seconds he told me that he was all the way inside of me. I was shocked! I really had no idea. We both were so happy, it brought tears to my eyes as we just smiled at each other. It feels so amazing to consummate our marriage (and also to rid ourselves of technically being virgins). We’ll have to put Feb 7 down on our calendars to celebrate another wonderful anniversary. It’s so amazing how Botox has saved my marriage. Thanks again to Dr. Pacik and this Forum filled with constant love and support!

[haley.rid]

I know! The progress has been incredible!!

As far as my openness, it’s all family. Of course in the beginning I had no idea why we couldn’t have sex, and I talked to my mom about it because we have had a great relationship my whole life. Caleb, also frustrated and concerned talked to his mom about it, and in turn eventually our families ended up being informed. At first it was really hard and embarrassing and even awkward at times, but it has been a great support since we determined it was Vaginismus, and we scheduled the procedure. I’m so thankful that Caleb told his mom because she was the one who came across Dr. Pacik’s book! I’ve still been very vague with everyone else (friends, classmates, extended family, random citizens, etc…) about our mysterious “anniversary trip to Boston in the middle of the winter” just because it is such a private part of our lives. I’m still looking for the best way to spread the word about Vaginismus. It’s not something I want to post on facebook and have everyone involved in my sex life.

Have you thought of or found any great ways to tell people? How open have you been able to be? Do you plan on being more open?

Has anyone else had any good/bad experiences sharing their story of Vaginismus?

[haley.rid]

Becca,

I also had my procedure Monday, and it’s such a great experience! I’m super excited for you 🙂 Even thinking back on my procedure day, the words nervous, exciting, and even fun come to mind! The staff are all so kind, and know exactly how you’ll be feeling. To answer your question, my husband and I are just playing it by ear, but I’m already feeling pretty comfortable dilating, so it will probably happen sooner than we “planned.” We talked about giving it about a week so my emotional progress can catch up with my physical progress, but I think you’ll be able to gauge where you’re at, and know when you’re ready. Good luck! I’m happy to help answer any more questions!

[haley.rid]

It is so good to hear your updates! (Hi Ashley 🙂 It was so great to get to share this unique experience with you and your husband. You’re such a fun, loving, happy couple, and I’m so happy for your success! It was such a comfort to be able to share similar feelings, discomfort, and success. Things are going great here. Dilating has been easy, and even a fun process! It makes such a huge difference to have such a supporting husband which I’m sure you’re aware of. Can’t wait to keep reading your updates 🙂

[haley.rid]

Thanks for all the great options Heather! It’s coming up so soon!

[haley.rid]

My appointment is Jan 20th, and my husband and I will be in NH that whole weekend for our first anniversary (Jan 18!). Any fun/romantic date ideas? Events going on that weekend? We’re renting a car, so transportation won’t be an issue.

[haley.rid]

Thanks everyone so much for all the advice and support! I am feeling more excited than nervous at this stage of the process. (That might change the closer we get.) But I must say that lingerie has been on the top of my shopping list lately 😉 Reading all the success stories gives me so much hope. I know it will take lots of work on my part post-procedure, but I already feel like it’s a Christmas miracle just waiting to happen. Hopefully after a few months we can finally have a REAL Honeymoon!!

[haley.rid]

Thanks so much for the inspiring and comforting words! I have such a nervous excitement. But I had an experience today that helped me put things in perspective a little. I had to get my blood drawn today, and that is another thing that gives me anxiety and makes me a little queezy… (Like penetration). All last night and this morning I was so stressed. I even had a dream that it already happened, and I was so disappointed when I woke up and it wasn’t real.. But when it was time I just put on my big girl pants and it was so easy!! I didn’t feel lightheaded or anything. This gave me hope that the procedure will be just like that, that I am strong and brave and in control of my mind! This little experience helped my confidence for January 🙂

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