feasibility of working towards overcoming fear of the procedure

Find support and treatment options from participants and Maze Women’s Health staff.

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General feasibility of working towards overcoming fear of the procedure

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
  • #9104

    Hi wondering if anyone has any suggestions for overcoming the FEAR of going for Dr.P’s procedure.
    I’ve posted before that I have a fear of med procedures, and the Botox procedure esp.going under anesthesia
    is of course part of that. I’ve read the entries here as well as on the main site regarding all that but of course can’t muster up the courage.

    I was trying to quit coming here so I can try to forget it but everytime I hear one of the songs on the radio that you guys mention or read something/hear something reminding me of how I don’t even belong here it bothers me.

    I read all the comforting things you guys say to each other and I also read between the lines that I am not qualified as a human being to receive those “goods” for lack of a better word. Not sure why all this is mixed in with the above but it’s
    also like I can’t miss what I never had..Although I should get a gyn exam since I’m in my 50s and never had one.

    Sorry to be such a downer amidst all the positive energy y’all have for each other but if anyone had suggestions I would appreciate it. Thank you very much.

    vgfears,the problem child-LOL(note the LOL)

    Janet Pacik

    Hi vgfear, Just wondering if you would like me to give you a call and just talk about our Botox procedure for the treatment of vaginismus. If so, please visit the contact page of http:/www.vaginismusmd.com and send me a note. Have you read Dr. Pacik’s book “When Sex Seems Impossible” which is available on Amazon.com both in paperback and in the Kindle version. This book would help you understand the procedure which might help you overcome the fear of the procedure. Lastly, have you requested information from us including the forms that are used for Dr. Pacik to evaluate your condition? If not, do so as this is complimentary and you are under no obligation what so ever. All of these things may help you to become more comfortable. We are here for you. All you need to do is reach out.


    Hi vgfears, I am so sorry that you are struggling. I totally understand your fear of the procedure. I am 53 years old and had suffered with Vaginismus most all of my life. Having gone through so many doctors and treatments I had given up all hope on feeling sexually “normal” and being able to have a GYN exam with out lots of tears of frustration, humiliation, etc. But I stumbled across this Forum and Dr. Pacik’s website over a year ago and had my procedure in October of 2012. I was not only afraid of actually having the procedure and the dilation program but even more so afraid that it would be one more thing that wouldn’t work. I am the biggest baby ever when it comes to pain and fear and I was so afraid of having the procedure. But honestly, Dr. Pacik and his team were amazing. They gave me a mild sedative to take the night before and the morning of and when I got to my appointment with my sister everyone was so kind, understanding and loving. When I started to get anxious they gave me something in an IV that helped me to feel calm and not so anxious. The procedure itself was a piece of cake as I didn’t remember anything. And afterwards I woke up all wrapped up in a nice warm blanket and I just couldn’t believe that I had the dilator inside of me without any pain. The entire two and a half days I was there everyone was so kind and helpful. I highly recommend that you call Janet and/or Dr. Pacik just to chat with them. Don’t put pressure on yourself but to only get to know them, to ask questions and share with them. You are not alone, vgfear. We are all here for you.



    I am so sorry for your frustrations and fear. I understand where you’re coming from. I was treated on Jan 20th, and the months prior to that I was definitely scared of the procedure, and even just getting the IV! What really helped me was having someone there who was completely involved and supportive. That could be a close friend, sister, mom, boyfriend, husband, etc.. Whenever I started feeling anxious, it was so good to have someone physically there to vent to or even just to tell me that everything will be okay. I also felt more confident after reading Dr. Pacik’s book “When Sex Seems Impossible” and also the experiences of others on the forum. This goes through the entire process step by step so there were no surprises. I knew exactly what to expect.
    I’m sure that at one point or another, every woman on this Forum has felt isolated, like no one understands what they’re going though. I felt that numerous times! But that is the beauty of this Forum! It’s such a safe place to talk about fears and feelings and experiences. I think it’s so great that you’re open and honest with how you’re feeling. That gives others a chance to find ways to cater to your specific needs. I don’t know if I can offer a direct solution, but I do want to offer a hand of fellowship and friendship. Just know that my decision to face my fears and go through the procedure has changed my life and increased my happiness and confidence in general. I feel like I can conquer anything placed before me now! You are worthy and deserving of this happiness! You deserve to be happy 🙂 Please continue to keep us updated on your thought and feelings. We’re here for you! Sending loves and hugs!


    Hi vg. I found an article that I wanted to share:

    Ways To Help Your Hospital Anxiety, Surgery Fear, Fear of Medicine


    1. Trust Your Practitioner
    This is by far the most important part of calming the fear of surgery and hospital anxiety. Trust is the opposite of anxiety. Feeling out of control settles if you feel in sync with the person who is helping you. Knowing you are confident in the doctor makes you feel more in control of the situation. That’s because you know he or she is in control, and that he or she–at least in this instance–is more capable than you to do this procedure. I would do affirmations of gratitude for my doctor, the nurses, all the hospital staff, and my family for their assistance.

    2. Trust Yourself
    Anxiety implies mistrust of others, but this is just a reflection of mistrust for yourself. Trust yourself to listen to your body. Your body knows what it needs. Make decisions accordingly. Trust those decisions. Trust that you can do what you can to give yourself the highest potential for maximum recovery. For example, eat what they tell you, participate in rehab, occupational therapy or physically therapy as directed, etc. Do affirmations expressing gratitude for yourself. “Thank you so much for all you are putting in to making this work!”

    Do guided imagery, seeing yourself recover calmly and doing well.

    3. Take Action to Help Yourself
    Do things that would be healing for your medical problem as well as your anxiety, like meditate (Tratak meditation is good to clear your mind or just imagine light at the place(s) your body needs healing), eat clean, exercise to build endurance for recovery, spend time with loving people, laugh, journal, pray, spend time outside or with your pets, engage in a creative hobby, clean out your house, or do some volunteer work. Just stay productively active so your mind doesn’t wander to gloom and doom.

    4. Educate Yourself
    Doing research into your medical issue can calm hospital anxiety and surgery fear (but it also can increase it). You can find horrible, rare accounts online that could terrify you more, but there are also many accounts that could help relax you. For some people, knowing what is going to happen makes them feel more in control and this is calming for them. Also, knowing our body’s capacity to heal itself is so reassuring. Research also can provide tips on the best ways for recovering from your particular medical issue. This information is invaluable!

    5. Plan Well
    When you are healing, it is great to be able to focus all of your energy on healing. (Not anxiety; we do not want to waste time on anxiety.) So it is great to make a plan for post-surgery. This will give you something to take your attention away from the surgery. Organize people to help and who will do what. Get together the things you might need (books, audiobooks, movies), and some stations for where you will plant yourself, complete with a side table for all the stuff–glass of water, tissues, lotion, lip balm, back scratcher, and the remote–that you will want at arm’s length. Get your kids schedules all sorted out, catch up at work and home so everything is left organized. It feels awful when you cannot get up to be staring at a cluttered and messy room.

    I had a tremendous amount of fear and anxiety prior to my own procedure in 2011 and these tips helped me quite a bit. Please know we are all here to support you. Sending hugs!!!!


    Thankyou to y’all for posting to my question.
    Janet: I spoke w/Dr. Pacik today. I am amazed he was so
    generous w/his time( especially being on vacation)-he was very helpful.

    Nakitalab: thanks for these details as I don’t really know what to expect in the experiential sense.
    I’m hoping I can eventually get the courage to go thru w/this. I also have a phobia
    of flying & am from Texas so I have to figure that one out, including travelling home!

    Hi Haley: Thank you for suggesting i continue to let people know how I feel. That seems OK here
    but if/when I get there I’m afraid of being a nuisance…heck I don’t have anyone coming w/me
    so the more inconspicuous I am, the better although I realize kinda hard w/this type of thing.

    Hi Heather- thank you very much for the anxiety info. I like that it’s wellorganized…I’ve struggled w/anxiety
    ( fluctuating levels) throughout my life. It’s a genetic gift-lol but so is my general good health which of course
    am grateful for. Never had anything major& I’m 52.

    I haven’t been on here thanking anyone til now but I wanted to
    make sure I let y’all know I do appreciate it very much!!


    Hi vg. You wrote:

    “I also have a phobia of flying & am from Texas so I have to figure that one out, including travelling home!”

    One of my very good friends here in Boston has the same fear. She is getting married in May and then they want to go on their honeymoon in Hawaii. Of course, she has to fly to do this. Last year, she researched and ended up taking a weekend course in NYC and said this helped her significantly and Hawaii is booked. I did a general search for fear of flying and came across the following in TX and wanted to share:


    You also wrote: “I’ve struggled w/anxiety (fluctuating levels) throughout my life. It’s a genetic gift-lol but so is my general good health which of course am grateful for. Never had anything major& I’m 52.”

    I’m so sorry for your struggles with anxiety. I, too, struggled with this quite a bit in the context of vaginismus. I am incredibly confident in other areas (i.e. going to law school, work life, etc.) but I definitely was so anxious when it came to everything about this. From my first visit to an ob/gyn, I experienced all of the physical symptoms of it just being in the office (i.e. rapid heartbeat, excess sweating, feeling like I was going to pass out any second, crying, shaking, and so, so many more). It was beyond frustrating to me and also uncomfortable to feel like that. Fast fwd to last Thursday and I had to go into the hospital for an internal exam. I am now over 3 years post-procedure but I usually still dilate in advance of appointments and exams. On Thursday, I didn’t and tolerated the exam fine and had zero anxiety leading up to and during it. This was huge for me because I no longer experienced the physical symptoms of anxiety that were so bad for me in the past.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.