Average time before intercourse?

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  • #9098
    Becca
    Participant

    First of all, I know that every person’s experience through this is different but I am just wondering what the average length of time is that it takes people to transition to intercourse post-procedure? I’ve heard as quick as a day or two and as long as eight months, I’m just really wondering what to expect and how to know when you are ready to try? Thinking about it now (my procedure is end of feb.) I just feel like I will be too nervous to try thinking that I will just be disappointed again, I assume that’s a normal feeling too?

    #12424
    zenely
    Participant

    Definitely normal. I think it will depend on your anxiety level. My anxiety was literally 0 the day of and so I decided to be overzealous and attempt on day one. As long as you feel comfortable progressing, I’d say go for it. If it’s not successful, just be sure to have the mindset that it’s okay and you’ll just have to work a bit longer to reach that point. And if it is successful (first of all yay!) just remember there might be times later on where it won’t be and accept that it’s just a little setback. I just had the procedure Monday, but I’ve already caught on to why everyone says the first two weeks are like a rollercoaster. I wish you luck in February!

    #12432
    haley.rid
    Participant

    Becca,

    I also had my procedure Monday, and it’s such a great experience! I’m super excited for you 🙂 Even thinking back on my procedure day, the words nervous, exciting, and even fun come to mind! The staff are all so kind, and know exactly how you’ll be feeling. To answer your question, my husband and I are just playing it by ear, but I’m already feeling pretty comfortable dilating, so it will probably happen sooner than we “planned.” We talked about giving it about a week so my emotional progress can catch up with my physical progress, but I think you’ll be able to gauge where you’re at, and know when you’re ready. Good luck! I’m happy to help answer any more questions!

    #12447
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Becca. This is an entirely normal feeling to have. I think everyone is very different in when they transition. Once I became more and more comfortable with the larger sized dilators (i.e. leaving them in longer) and I knew the Botox was in full effect as there was little to no resistance inserting them, my anxiety was significantly less. It also helped so much that my hubby was involved with the dilating and we had “fun time” with this too and made it less clinical. Another thing that helped is we both talked about it in advance and decided if it didn’t work, then we would just try again at another time and it made it feel less pressure. Sending you hugs and I am so, so excited for you and your upcoming procedure. :):):)

    #12571
    Becca
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your responses. 🙂 I have been so eager to try, even though I can feel that I’m not ready yet, we did decide to try today just to try. It did not work, but like I said, I’m not surprised because I don’t feel that my body is ready yet, I’m just feeling overzealous. 😉 So, at least I am not feeling discouraged or frustrated about it like I used to, I just know that I need more practice with the larger dilators and to be patient – it’s just so hard to wait! 🙂

    #12573
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    An important gauge of when to try intercourse is how comfortable you feel with the larger dilators #5 and #6. For women who are still working with the medium #4 dilator, it is probably too early. Once the #5 can be inserted without pain, this is usually satisfactory for attempting intercourse for most women. The #6 is an “insurance policy” for easier intercourse. One hour with #6 almost guarantees pain free intercourse. Most of my patients report that they were surprised with how easy this transition was. You are only one week since your treatment, it is still early. The tight muscles need more time to stretch and like any PT can take weeks and even months depending on many factors.
    When you are ready remember to start with tip only intercourse and no thrusting. Take it slow the first few times.

    #12578
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Becca. You are doing so, so great and making tremendous progress. I always found that the more comfortable that I became with using the larger dilators, the more I was physically stretched to make intercourse do-able. Concerning the mental component too, using the larger dilators prior to intercourse helped to significantly reduce my anxiety as I became used to the feeling of having something inside of me and visualized that my hubby would feel similar. He actually felt much more comfortable than the larger sized dilators. A trick that helped us was dilating for a couple of hours with the larger dilators. Then, we would do foreplay with the dilators in and practicing inserting, removing, and reinserting them so I became used to these feelings and it helped me to also trust him so much more and become closer to each other. Then, at one point, he simply removed the larger sized dilator and inserted himself in its place. It was able to go in smoothly as, again, I had dilated so long in advance prior. I know that the more you practice with the larger sized dilators as indicated, the more and more stretched you will become (physically ready) and anxiety will greatly be reduced as you witness these physical changes/responses (mentally ready). Please know we are all here to support you. Sending huge hugs!!! :):):)

    #12582
    Becca
    Participant

    Yeah, I knew I wasn’t ready as I wasn’t using the 5 on a regular basis, but we decided to just try any ways, no pressure. 🙂 Thank you so much for your tips and words of encouragement! 🙂

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