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Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 224 total)
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  • #19678
    mazemelissa
    Moderator

    Hi Christine,

    Welcome to the forum! And congrats on getting as far as you have on your own. Many patients have trouble past the fourth dilator, as the dilators increase in size, it just gets harder to insert.

    If you aren’t already priming your vagina with the smaller dilator first, you should definitely do that. Move the smaller dilator a lot, side to side, in and out, and then try to insert the next size. When you move up to the fifth and sixth sizes, it can be quite painful the first insertion, and you might need to push quite hard. If your hymenal tissue is still intact, which is possible, even if you have dilated with the smaller sizes, you might experience some tearing with some small bleeding. That is totally ok, the entrance needs to widen and open, intact hymenal tissue can be a barrier to dilation. You can also try a warm bath prior to dilation, the warm water will help relax the vaginal muscles further. You can see if you boyfriend can try to insert the dilator for you, he can massage the vaginal entrance with his fingers and then insert the dilator.

    You can also investigate seeking out a pelvic floor physcial therapist who can help you with dilation.

    And of course, if you are in the NY, CT, NJ area, you can come see us at MAZE and we can help you through the process as well.

    You can also call us for a free 10 minute consultation if you want to speak with me about dilation.

    Hope this helps,

    Melissa Ferrara, NP
    914-328-3700
    melissa@mazehealth.com

    #19684

    Thank You. Actually I had to go back to 4 and I can’t successful get it all the way in so I’m back @ 3. My gyno said I shouldn’t miss a day and I usually don’t but once I get period. I miss a few days. So now that I’m back @ 3. I left that in for an hour in a half and started on 4 and it was going on pretty well till my muscles starting getting tired. I wanted to get it all th way in so I could be finally on 4 but it wasn’t the case. So I’m going back and fourth to 3 and then 4 every day. I am trying the in and out back and fourth too now. is there a such thing as over doing it? I don’t know how often in a day I should do this. Last night when I decided I needed to stop, I went pee and it was burning. Never had that happen. Maybe I just did it to long and was pushing the limit. I don’t know. I just want to complete this. It’s frustrating for me and I hate giving my boyfriend this disappointing news.

    #19687
    mazemelissa
    Moderator

    I do think that you can over do it. I think an hour of dilation is plenty. So if going from 3 to 4, I would use the 3 for 20-30 min, and then move on to the 4.

    Make sure you are using a good lubricant that does not dry out, especially if you are moving the dilators a lot. A bad lubricant can make the dilation harder to do, and make the entrance tissue more uncomfortable.

    If you haven’t tried coconut oil with your dilation, you can try that. I also like hybrid lubricants like Sliquid Silk or Oasis silk.

    Melissa

    #19694
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi Christine. I completely agree with Melissa’s thoughts. Huge, huge CONGRATS on your progress so far. I, too, have felt the discomfort that you describe while dilating in the past. One thing that helped a lot for me was using a vibrator. I was nervous in the beginning and dilated in advance of trying to insert it. I then was able to insert it in and it helped so much for relaxation. Another thing that helped prior to moving up a size was practicing moving the dilator from side to side as you have done.

    Another thought that Melissa has written in the past is the possibility of going up a half-size. There are companies, like Syracuse Medical (see link below) that have half-sizes. Hope this helps and am sending you positive thoughts and my support today! I, again, am so, so excited for your great progress!!!

    Syracuse Medical:
    http://www.cmtmedical.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=551

    #19722

    Hi Heather and mazemelissa.
    I am currently on my period so I haven’t done anything in a few days. Which sucks because I will have to start over. I wish this was easier for me lol. I just want to give my boyfriend the gift he has been wanting. He has been supportive of me. It’s hard on him but I think it bothers me more.

    #19723
    mazemelissa
    Moderator

    Christine, don’t think of your period as setting you back to the start. You have made so much progress, that you are further along than you might think. I usually recommend to try to do some dilation with a period, even if it is with the smallest dilator. Just practicing putting the small dilator in will be beneficial. Keep dilating! You can do this.

    #19738

    Thank you. My boyfriend & I one yr anniversary is in Nov & he is hoping by then we are having sex. I mean we do other things but I can understand him wanting that as well. I want it too. It bothers me everyday that I won’t reach it by then. I wish I didn’t have this…😢😭

    Sometimes I have a break down over it. I do my best to stay positive & my boyfriend is good to me. I know this is treatable, I’ve always been a slower learner @ everything. Never thought this would be one of them.

    #19771

    I am currently on 4 now and I’m doing reverse Kegel to try and get it in. It’s bit surprising to me I’m having difficulties since I was able to get 4 in before without any problems. Then when I transitioned to 5 and it was taking forever, I called the vaginusm company and they said I needed to read the 10 step book which I’ve been doing, & they were actually surprised I got as far as I did without the book. Now I take showers and as soon as I get out, I’m relaxed and ready for bed but I want to practice the dilators before I fall asleep. Need some advice on how to get 4 all the way in.

    #19781
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi Christine. I just replied to your post in another thread but wanted to share this with you here as well (please see below). Congrats on your upcoming anniversary in Nov. Please, please know that you are doing so well and I am here for you 100%! Sending you huge hugs!!!

    Dr. Pacik has written:

    “Early in the process dilation may be uncomfortable and create soreness. Sometimes it starts off being comfortable and then it is hard to find a position that allows for pain free insertion. This may cause distress (because the dilation was going so well) but needn’t be because most women do experience discomfort with dilation at some time. Sometimes the lube dries up and extraction of the dilator is uncomfortable. By simply twisting the dilator first this loosens it so that it can be removed more comfortably. Most dilators are too long and it is important to avoid inserting the dilator so far that it hits the cervix which can create discomfort. This discomfort of hitting the cervix is also true for intercourse when the penis is too long. When using the Pure Romance dilators the pink #5 dilator needs to stick out about one inch and the blue #6 about two inches. For painful extraction, experiment with the different lubes including silicone lubes. The water based lube gets absorbed overnight and dries out. One may be sore from the dilation process because the vagina is not used to this new frequency and duration of using dilators. This gets better with time. It is OK to use ibuprofen or Tylenol at this time. The correct dose of ibuprofen is three 200mg tabs (over the counter) three times a day. This can be used for about a week if needed. If you find a position of comfort, this may be your position for transitioning to intercourse. One should therefore experiment with different positions including squatting for dilation and then intercourse. Most women with vaginismus have spasm involving the entry muscle. The higher muscles may be tight but usually not in spasm. Therefore once one gets past the entry muscle, about one inch (2.5cm), the dilator practically “falls in” and the rest of the dilation process becomes easy. It is also helpful to do a series of Kegels, with complete relaxation of the pelvis on the 5th Kegel, and then insert. Also the use of a vibrator has been shown to help relaxation when dilating. Always use lots of lube.”

    #19795

    Thank you. That does make sense what you said about using the dilators in the beginning. I’m not use pure romance dilators. I bought dilators off of the vaginusm site. It comes with 6 dilators, and a handle so I have control on how fast I can put it in. I hope these can work just as well as the Pure Romance & the glass dilators.

    #19797
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi Christine. I love the fact that they come with a handle. I found this so, so, so important too while dilating.

    #19802
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi Christine. I think staying positive with vaginismus is sometimes difficult and I struggled a lot with this. In a prior post, Janet Pacik wrote some excellent tips that I hope may help. Specifically, she wrote: “I have recently been reading a lot on positive thinking and meditation as we all have “stuff” we are dealing with in our personal lives. One of the things that might help is to spend 10 or 15 uninterrupted minutes a day doing nothing such as meditating or staring at some natural motion like flowing water. This daily period of mindful silence may provide a sanctuary for you that can be peaceful where you can then meditate on the positive side of dilating and transitioning to intercourse. It is my firm belief that you need to visualize success in order to overcome this. This mindful silence may give you that opportunity. Just a thought and may be worth trying. Sending positive energy your way.”

    #19823

    Thank you Heather. My boyfriend said that I do tend to think to much about it & 8 think of it more of a task that needs to be done. I get home from work I’m tired and sometimes I’m not even in the mood to do dilation but I say to myself to, I can’t put it off I need to practice. Has this ever happened to you? If so what helped you get through that? Also did you dilate every day?

    #19872

    Hi Heather. Haven’t heard from you in awhile, I asked a few questions in my last post.

    #19873
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi Christine. Sorry that I’ve been MIA. Our little guy has been sick on and off throughout October and is now finally on the mend (thank God)! I felt so, so, so similar to how you describe. I dilated in the morning and the evening but did skip a day here and there. For me, I was never able to insert a thing prior to having the Botox treatment with Dr. P so I was terrified that if I didn’t dilate, that it would come back. Because of this, I sometimes over-dilated and would become very sore and then need to take a day off and start back up. I think it may help to write out a dilating schedule. This is what I did for the year that I dilated after my procedure and it helped me to stay on track and to also plan out times that I would not be dilating (i.e. period or when I needed even a day or two break from it). This may really help. Please know that I am here for you always! Sending big hugs today!!!!

Viewing 15 posts - 61 through 75 (of 224 total)
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