Welcome New Members!
Home › Forums › Vaginismus Support Group › Vaginismus General › Welcome New Members!
September 20, 2014 at 11:12 am #13419
Hello, I am new to the forum and having my procedure on Oct 20th. I’m very happy about this but worry that it will not work for me. I am 52 and have been waiting a long time for this.September 20, 2014 at 3:49 pm #13420
Hi npaul. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so, so excited for you to have your upcoming procedure in October. I struggled with vaginismus for several years and the majority of my relationship and marriage prior to finding Dr. Pacik’s treatment. I tried several other treatments prior, including using dilators on my own, PT, biofeedback, etc. and nothing worked. Thus, I was convinced that this, too, would not work. My husband, on the other hand, wanted to try it and we did … thank God. We had the procedure on June 27th and were able to have pain-free intercourse on July 4th and continue to enjoy such. There are so many different elements that I believe made this program work when all of the others didn’t and Dr. Pacik himself was definitely the biggest factor. In addition to being kind, caring, and compassionate, he is also incredibly knowledgeable about all aspects of vaginismus and the symptoms experienced, including heightened anxiety and the physical resistance feeling with any attempted insertion.
I want to share one of my favorite Blogs from Dr. Pacik with you: Vaginismus Treatment – The 1, 2, 3 Punch: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-treatment-the-123-punch/ Excerpts include:
“The first punch is the injection of Botox under anesthesia. This is the knockout punch for the spastic muscle at the entry of the vagina (the “closed fist”). It will be unable to recover for about four months. The second punch is the progressive dilation under anesthesia, stretching the tight muscle(s). Once these muscles are weakened and stretched under anesthesia, the continued post treatment dilation keeps these muscles stretched. The third punch is reduction of anxiety. It is well known that fear and anxiety play an important role in continued spasm of the entry muscle. The brain says “PAIN“, the vagina responds with a protective reflex “NO ENTRY“. Once fear and anxiety lessen and women are able to tolerate penetration as well as having comfortable pain free intercourse, this protective reflex appears to diminish, and the reflexive spasm of the vaginal muscles appears to disappear.” It goes on to describe the importance of post-procedure care: “The three punches described must be combined with careful post-procedure monitoring, which includes the review of daily logs to help patients with their post-procedure dilation program. The counseling done after treatment is of utmost importance to help women understand what needs to be done when they return home and the steps needed to succeed in having pain free intercourse.”
Please know we are all here for you. In addition, I wanted to direct you to another thread in which 3 October patients have also posted (two who will be treated on 10/1 and one will be treated on 10/13). http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=933.0#postid-5061
Sending you huge hugs and support!!!September 20, 2014 at 4:51 pm #13421
Thanks Heather. For the support and the links. I’m nervous and hopeful.September 20, 2014 at 9:24 pm #1342423yearsParticipant
I’m sorry I’ve been absent from the boards and just logging on now. Fighting a very bad URI. But I did not want to miss this post to encourage someone else. You see, “I”, like you NPaul, am 45 almost 46 years old, had the big V for 23 years. I went to the moon (or hell) and back trying to find a cure. I was so convinced I had Vulvadynia or any number of V words, never once did I EVER think or was told of Vaginismus that I was entirely convinced this was “too good to be true” and I would be one of “the ones” that would fail this treatment. I would convince myself I was grasping at straws, then convince myself this WAS probably logical. I would intellectualize why I felt SURE this would work and THEN I would go to my trusted OBGYN of the same 23 years and not only would I be belittled by him but I would be physically mistreated by him when I told him of Dr Paciks treatment and that I was moving forward with BOTOX.
And so there was no more self doubt worry and beating oneself up (and others too) than perhaps I was right before my surgery on June 30th of this year.
But I did it. And I “DID it” pain free!! It doesn’t matter when or how long after my surgery because too many of us on this board try to compete or compare ourselves with one another but the FACT is that the roads we travel to get here and the ones we travel to recover, are ALL individual and unique!
My dear friend, I am sending you ((((((hugs)))))) because I want you to know that YOU are taking the first step in your recovery.
If you would ever need to email chat or want to text me, the office knows how to get ahold of me. They have my permission.
Until then and always, you are in my thoughts!!
You CAN and WILL do this!!!
23 years~September 21, 2014 at 5:30 pm #13425
Thank you so much for writing!!! I am very nervous about whether I really will be able to have sex after the botox shot and how long that will take. I suppose it varies. Is there anything I can do to make this less anxious for myself? It was hard for me to even post here but the responses are very encouraging and I thank you both for that.September 21, 2014 at 9:04 pm #13426
Hi npaul. I found a great Blog that I wanted to share about pre-procedure nerves and it includes Dr. Pacik’s commentary which is so, so helpful:
I can’t describe how nervous I was pre-procedure. At the time, the Forum wasn’t yet created and nobody knew except, of course, my husband. One thing that helped me personally so much was receiving IV Verced upon arrival in NH. This helped to take away all of the physical symptoms of anxiety that I always experienced (i.e. feeling like passing out, etc.). After receiving this, I cannot describe how much more relaxed and in control that I felt. Should you also be very nervous upon arrival, this helps so much.
Right now, just talking about everything, will do wonders to reduce your anxiety. Please, please know we all care and are here to support you. Also, please rest assured that you are in wonderful care with Dr. Pacik, Janet Pacik, Ellen, and all of the staff. They truly are like no other people out there! Not only do they understand what each of us has gone through with vaginismus but they also truly care about you as a person very, very much. One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Pacik that I wanted to share with you is below. Please, again, know we are all here to support you and everything is going to go so, so well for you!!!
Dr. Pacik writes:
“There are a thousand worries that the average patient has as the day of treatment approaches. “What ifs” tend to be all consuming. There comes a point that it helps to simply allow the flow to take you along its course. I often tell (my worried surgical patients) that they should think of their surgery or treatment as a ride in the car. They put their seat belts on (these are the many safety monitors we have throughout the operating and recovery room) and I’ll take them for a safe ride. I know the route and I am a safe driver. For my vaginismus patients where the treatment has a high level of safety, but anxiety rears its ugly head, the same can be true to help stem the normal anxiety that takes place. There is not much more anyone can say. The day comes and goes, much like any other day. Now you are on one side, then you have stepped across and you are on the other side.”September 23, 2014 at 8:43 am #13428
Thank you Heather for the link. I don’t always show my anxiety..I can pretend that everything is normal in front of other people. But inside I am jello. So knowing that there are options to manage anxiety is very helpful. Thank you for all your support. I can’t wait and wish it was over already.September 23, 2014 at 11:49 am #13429
I, too, can’t wait and just know it is going to go so, so well for you. I think one of the hardest things that I experienced was the anticipatory anxiety leading up to the procedure. At the time (2011), the Forum wasn’t created so I read Dr. Pacik’s book from cover to cover twice but still didn’t know what to expect. Now, I think if I was a future patient with the procedure coming up, I would do exactly what you are doing in posting and talking about it as well as reading the various links, posts, and Blogs. Knowledge is power! For anyone else reading this as well, even just reading these posts and the stories can be extremely helpful. Please know that you are not alone and we are all here for you! Sending hugs and support!!!September 25, 2014 at 11:46 pm #13435NakitalabParticipant
Hi npaul, I am 54 years old and had my procedure two years ago this October. I suffered from Vaginismus for approximately 32 years. I was never able to use tampons and was unable to have intercourse with my husband for most of our married life. I had given up all hope of ever being or feeling “normal” as I had tried everything under the sun with no success. Thank goodness I stumbled across Dr. Pacik’s website. I just couldn’t believe there were others that were going through the very same thing that I was and had the procedure and was able to have intercourse without pain. I was so excited but at the same time so nervous and anxious because I just knew I was going to be the one that it didn’t work for. Especially since I was 52 years old and suffered with Vaginismus for so long. Dr. Pacik and his team of professionals were so empathetic, understanding and loving throughout my procedure and visit. I was so nervous and scared. Dr. Pacik gave me something to help sleep the night before as well as take right before I got to the office to help take the edge off and relax me a little. I don’t remember much of the procedure other than having an IV inserted and waking up with the largest dilator in me. I had tears of joy throughout the next couple of days. I just couldn’t believe it. I am so very thankful and blessed as it did work for me as I know it will for you. Dr. Pacik’s dilation program afterwards not only built up my confidence in myself and what my body could do but also allowed me to make love to my husband and pain-free. You have taken a brave, huge step forward in getting rid of this awful condition. Thank you for sharing on the Forum as I know that it feels scary and very vulnerable to share our feelings since Vaginismus causes us to withdraw, feel embarrassed and insecure about ourselves. You are in my prayers and I am here for you. Big hug!September 27, 2014 at 12:03 am #13438romana.kleeParticipant
hi everyone! especially npaul!! because i am scheduled for oct. 20th too—just made the appointment this evening.
i’m 29. i’ll be 30 in november. i don’t have a partner. i’m excited to finally get this issue taken care of. i have seen so many doctors and it’s been so tiring.
anyway, hello and i’m happy to be part of your community!September 27, 2014 at 5:35 am #13440Janet PacikParticipant
Romana.klee and Npaul welcome to the new members category. You both may want to post under the category that Heather34 started titled: “Questions for September and October 2014 Patients” Hi ladies. For those of you who have your procedure coming up in September and October, please feel free to ask any questions at all that you may have pre-procedure. It can be anything at all from what it is like to do the dilating to what fun things there are to do in New Hampshire, Boston, and the whole New England area while you are here. I live right outside of Boston and would be happy to share. I look forward to reading your posts.
http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=933September 27, 2014 at 8:46 am #13439
Hi romana. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I think it’s so, so, so, so wonderful you found Dr. Pacik and will be treated coming up on 10/20! I understand fully what you mean about seeing so many doctors and it being tiring. I, too, had vaginismus for several years – all of my 20s and early 30s and visited doctors and providers who did not understand the condition. No matter how many times they said “just try to relax”, it still didn’t work and it would end in them being very frustrated and me being very embarrassed and upset. When we found Dr. Pacik, he was the first doctor who did not treat me like this but the exact opposite. He was kind, caring, and so, so knowledgeable about this condition and what I had gone through while having it. Rest assured you are in wonderful care with Dr. Pacik, Janet Pacik, Ellen, and all of the wonderful staff and they truly care so, so much! As Janet said, there is an awesome thread started for September and October patients too in which several October patients have posted. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=933#sthash.2tHGEt8h.dpuf Please, please ask any questions that you have pre-procedure. By being a part of this community, it is a wonderful way to reduce anxiety pre-procedure and to know that you are not alone in any of this! We care and are here to support you! Sending you hugs!!!September 29, 2014 at 1:56 pm #13441romana.kleeParticipant
thanks. you all are so nice and so positive; i want to be part of your community but i am still so new at talking about this! i’m sure it gets easier.September 29, 2014 at 10:09 pm #13443
Hi romana. You are a wonderful part of this community and we are all here to support one other! Sending you big hugs!!October 17, 2014 at 1:19 am #13473
Just saw your post Romana: Thank you for writing. And I don’t have a partner either! But I am delighted to be taking this step towards my future. Looking forward to seeing you on the 20th.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.